Page 7 | DS (17) has been unloading the dishwasher for nearly an hour

FrenchBoule · 06/06/2021 12:24

@LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee

Haha this brought back memories of homeschooling during lockdown. DS7 sitting for an hour+ at the kitchen table, he just had to copy a word three times, instead he daydreamed/complained/cried/picked his nose/ate his pen/slouched on his chair. Just do it, 3 minutes top and you can go play!!! Repeat daily while trying to work next to him.

Omg,I thought if was just mine!

Swinging on the chair,picking his nose,scratching his balls...

MissGendered · 06/06/2021 12:25

I'm dreading the teen years! I can't stand faffing. I have a 6 year old that can't remember to flush the toilet/put clothes in the laundry basket/take plate to the sink. She's small so I go easy on her and gently remind her (through gritted teeth). By 16 I'll be standing behind her with a megaphone like Sergeant Hartman.

PreservativeFree · 06/06/2021 12:28

Oh yes, don't be smug about your domesticated 8yos. My 3 year old was pairing socks and putting laundry away, by 5 stripping their own beds, by 8 they were doing a good job of cleaning the bathroom, by 10 cooking good nutritious family meals.

At 18 and 20 it's all takeaways and duvets that haven't been changed for months. Although giving them the responsibility of stripping beds early did mean I've never touched a teenage boy's bedlinen. An inspired move.

They do still do things when asked, but it's very much to their timetable. At least they have the skills for the future.

DinosaurDiana · 06/06/2021 12:38

I personally do it myself, to my own standard. You find they miraculously find out how to do this stuff when they leave home.
You can either get wound up just to prove a point, or do it yourself and move on.

RosesAndHellebores · 06/06/2021 12:39

This thread has made me so pleased that I insisted on one unbroken rule when they were small and continued it to the primary years and the secondary years. "If you eat, you eat at the table". Not in your bedroom, the drawing room or wandering about the place dropping crumbs."

As they got bigger they have got up and taken a cup of tea or coffee back upstairs (on a small tray to catch spillages) and I can't complain because dh brings me a cup of tea every week day morning.

HandfulofDust · 06/06/2021 12:42

@Chipsahoy

17? My 10 year old has to empty dishwasher in the morning and 13 yr old in the afternoon. The 10 year old complains and moans and takes forever the same as the 13 yr old did when he was 10. 13 yr old does it in minutes with no moaning.

Good for you!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/06/2021 12:43

The drawing room

Pewpew · 06/06/2021 12:43

@PreservativeFree

Oh yes, don't be smug about your domesticated 8yos. My 3 year old was pairing socks and putting laundry away, by 5 stripping their own beds, by 8 they were doing a good job of cleaning the bathroom, by 10 cooking good nutritious family meals.

At 18 and 20 it's all takeaways and duvets that haven't been changed for months. Although giving them the responsibility of stripping beds early did mean I've never touched a teenage boy's bedlinen. An inspired move.

They do still do things when asked, but it's very much to their timetable. At least they have the skills for the future.

Big difference between small children and teenagers! Your time will come.

PreservativeFree · 06/06/2021 12:45

Is that for me PewPew? That's exactly. What I said, as mine are now 18 & 20

Twistered · 06/06/2021 12:47

@reallyneedmoresleep

He's finished! The dishwasher has been emptied and reloaded and he's disappeared back to his room "for revision".

If only he'd turned the bllody thing on....

Love it!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 06/06/2021 12:48

My ds used to be like this as a teenager.

It could be worse though:

Pewpew · 06/06/2021 12:51

@PreservativeFree

Is that for me PewPew? That's exactly. What I said, as mine are now 18 & 20

Was agreeing with you!

PreservativeFree · 06/06/2021 12:52

Good!

bendmeoverbackwards · 06/06/2021 12:52

@lastcall

We just take ours off the internet when they pull this shit; app on the phone does it.

How do you do this? Can you still have access while restricting theirs?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/06/2021 12:55

@reallyneedmoresleep

...and I think I'm about to explode. He was supposed to do it yesterday, but didn't. The rest of the family is playing hardball and we've let all the dirty dishes build up rather than do his chore (singular!!!) for him. After being asked about four times this morning, he's finally getting on with it.

He's doing it whilst watching youtube videos on his phone. He's had a break to go to the loo. He's had a break to have a drink. He's had a break to find some hayfever tablets. The top layer is now empty, but the bottom layer still needs emptying and the dishwasher reloading.

He's just left the kitchen for five minutes because he needs to wipe his nose.

Please tell me I'm teaching him life skills and being a better mother than one who's just do it myself?

I'm trying to sit at the kitchen table and do some work but I can feel my temper rising, which, I know, will help nothing.

Poor boy - I don’t think you realise what a mentally and physically draining task this is for him!

I’d be timing him, to the second, and announcing it as his new ‘personal best!

bendmeoverbackwards · 06/06/2021 12:56

@ssd

They all learn when they leave home. Sometimes a bit of spoiling does them no harm. And we are all experts when we've no experience...

I agree. I did NO chores growing up, my mum preferred me to play and concentrate on schoolwork. I had no problems keeping a clean home when I needed to.

meemaww · 06/06/2021 12:57

My DS 17 does absolutely bugger all, bespite endless nagging/cajoling! The only hoovering he does is the snacks out of the cupboards. He has asked me in the past which one was the washing machine 😳 and has never so much as opened the door of the dishwasher. I can only assume he believes it to be the portal to Hades and he’s not taking any chances! 😂

RealhousewifeofStoke · 06/06/2021 12:59

@ssd

They all learn when they leave home. Sometimes a bit of spoiling does them no harm. And we are all experts when we've no experience...

Rubbish. Teens who are allowed to behave like this become the uni halls mates who live like pigs and who impact on everyone around them. They become the colleagues who leave the mess in the kitchen and loos for everyone else to clean up. They become the partners and spouses who are so entitled that they expect not to have to pull their weight at home.

And having successfully raised a number of teenagers who manage to keep their rooms clean AND wash floors and iron their own clothes as well as empty bins and pick up dig poop whilst not being emotionally scarred, I feel adequately qualified to comment

bendmeoverbackwards · 06/06/2021 12:59

It IS very frustrating but it’s a normal part of teenage brain development. Procrastination comes with the territory. It passes eventually.

timeisnotaline · 06/06/2021 13:02

I’m absolutely going to play the elapsed time unlocked consequences game for this and I will win. I like the waking him at 6am (by dh) as one of the consequences and wifi of course, I also like the running best time score with public humiliation ie sharing scores at the dinner table and with friends and family. I will explain I’m doing future him a huge favour- his employers won’t decide he must have been lobotomised day 2 and let him go so his chances of holding down a job are significantly improved, and these basic skills make him far more likely to be able to both attract and keep a lovely partner, which will benefit me of course but him the most as I doubt he plans on me living with them. But my youngest brother was 12 when I said you’re the baby and ridiculously spoilt, you need to be able to cook a few decent meals. We decided on puttanesca, looked up a recipe wrote a list, I took him shopping and made sure he cooked it.

bendmeoverbackwards · 06/06/2021 13:02

@RealhousewifeofStoke completely disagree. I did the bare minimum growing up and turned into a competent adult when I needed to. Some of our friends children had zero interest in cooking as teens and are now competent cooks.

timeisnotaline · 06/06/2021 13:04

@ssd

They all learn when they leave home. Sometimes a bit of spoiling does them no harm. And we are all experts when we've no experience...

Unfortunately not true. My husband really thought he could get by without learning, it took very strong words to explain the deal was he was a functioning capable adult and would act like it. If he didn’t know, we had the Internet and he could read.

Ostara212 · 06/06/2021 13:05

@reallyneedmoresleep

With apologies to my sisters-in-mothering-teens; I switched it on. Choosing my battles and all that.

Please don't hate me I don't have children yet

How does this happen? You need to look at how it happened to fix it?

He's almost an adult. We had to vacuum and do the dishwasher by 14.

If both parents were home late, we would make dinner. We did laundry.

I know it happens, I told someone to piss off when she asked for help with laundry at uni. There was a sign in block capitals explaining it!

So like a toddler, can I take a moment to say...but whyyyyy?

meemaww · 06/06/2021 13:08

@RealhousewifeofStoke I have to disagree too. DD25 wasn’t allocated any chores when she lived at home but she was shown how to clean, laundry etc. She went to uni and SHE was the one cleaning up after her friends in halls and in all of their shared houses. Her room was always clean and tidy and now she has a home of her own, it is always immaculate, real showcase standard.

MaMelon · 06/06/2021 13:11

RealhousewifeofStoke - not rubbish all. Some become pigs as a result of having the freedom not to do chores, others are pigs and stay pigs, others become tidy when they realise no-one will clean up after them and they don’t like mess after all.

Mine are in their 20s and feel likewise able to comment