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Original poster

DS (17) has been unloading the dishwasher for nearly an hour

294 replies

reallyneedmoresleep · 06/06/2021 09:52

...and I think I'm about to explode. He was supposed to do it yesterday, but didn't. The rest of the family is playing hardball and we've let all the dirty dishes build up rather than do his chore (singular!!!) for him. After being asked about four times this morning, he's finally getting on with it.

He's doing it whilst watching youtube videos on his phone. He's had a break to go to the loo. He's had a break to have a drink. He's had a break to find some hayfever tablets. The top layer is now empty, but the bottom layer still needs emptying and the dishwasher reloading.

He's just left the kitchen for five minutes because he needs to wipe his nose.

Please tell me I'm teaching him life skills and being a better mother than one who's just do it myself?

I'm trying to sit at the kitchen table and do some work but I can feel my temper rising, which, I know, will help nothing.

OP posts:
Designerly · 07/06/2021 20:08

You are waay tooo soft, and he knows it!
Put a time limit on the task, with a penalty of additional chore for not completing the task within time.

maybloss2 · 07/06/2021 20:35

Hi op, this is a scene enacted all over the land.
To relieve yr frustration, as your boy comes back into the room fall on the floor and jerk around for a bit, making whatever loud sound comes to mind…
When yr boy expresses consternation say that he gives you the Heebie jeebies taking so long and he needs to get a finger out before you die from it and he is arrested for committing matricide.
He will no doubt huff and declare you a drama queen or similar.
Or, you could lock him in the kitchen till job is done.

Something dramatic and completely over the top is required, even losing your temper if it’s not what you normally do. WAKE him up. MAKE him see he is being an arse.
My stepson seems to think he is doing us a favour putting his own washing in the machine.
Good luck to all parents of teens everywhere I feel your pain..😏

jennieflower · 07/06/2021 20:53

Last week I got home from work after leaving a very small list of jobs for my children to take care of, they are 12 and 18 and none of it was done. So I decided that the most used appliance in the house deserved a day off. I left a new list of chores to do and surprisingly when I arrived home my house was spotlessly clean and tidy Grin

DS (17) has been unloading the dishwasher for nearly an hour
Jim1980Bob · 07/06/2021 20:53

@2021Vision has hit the nail on the head on how to deal with this.

I can recommend a little kids book to read to him too. It's called "In a minute Mum"

I would also turn off the WiFi.

jesst81 · 07/06/2021 20:54

Turn the WiFi off

HeronLanyon · 07/06/2021 20:59

jennie you took it for a walk !!
Is that actually a ransom photo ?

Worried40yearold · 07/06/2021 21:06

@jennieflower

Last week I got home from work after leaving a very small list of jobs for my children to take care of, they are 12 and 18 and none of it was done. So I decided that the most used appliance in the house deserved a day off. I left a new list of chores to do and surprisingly when I arrived home my house was spotlessly clean and tidy Grin
I am so going to try this myself. I would probably see that atomic plume from where I work hahaha
Three0fivepointfour · 07/06/2021 21:09

I love the photo of the wifi on a nice little stroll in the countryside.

Tigger1895 · 07/06/2021 21:37

Thank you. I can’t understand emptying from the top either,

teraculum29 · 07/06/2021 21:58

classic faffer

thelonghaul · 07/06/2021 22:14

Turn off the wifi.
Start filming him for YouTube?

user1471538283 · 07/06/2021 22:16

Before we had a dishwasher I had a DS like this. He used to sit in a dining chair to wash up because he was so tired. He once hung dirty laundry on the line. He would do a shit job of stuff in the hope I didnt ask again. He never wanted to help.

I used to growl and pace but made him do it.

jennieflower · 07/06/2021 22:16

@HeronLanyon I really did! Less than 10 minutes after I’d taken it out I took a call from my youngest telling me I was BU and selfish, however he called me less than an hour later and apologised, when I arrived home from work later in the day the house was spotless Grin

Menopausalcraziness · 07/06/2021 22:49

This would be my 14 year old if we had a dishwasher. When he dries up he has you tube on his phone also which delays the job - that’s after we’ve had moans about him doing it beforehand!!
He groaned this afternoon because I asked him to get the laundry from the line so I reminded him no pocket money if it wasn’t done.
I’ve taken to turning off the wifi before - maybe that could work for you?
Good luck!

Disneyblue · 07/06/2021 22:53

If it takes him several hours, fine. At least he's doing it.
Don't give in.
Focus on what you're doing. Leave him be. He can have as many breaks as he likes, it's getting done!

winnieanddaisy · 07/06/2021 23:01

I don't think it's worth turning the WiFi off because they have it on their phones any way . 4G or 5G etc .
I think it would be better to sit at the table and ask for his phone while he does his job then return his phone when he's completed it . I bet he doesn't take anyway near an hour . Probably 10 minutes tops Smile

Hugoslavia · 07/06/2021 23:06

You need to put on the Mission Impossible theme tune on at full blast as he does it!

Waterfallgirl · 07/06/2021 23:07

@user1471538283

Before we had a dishwasher I had a DS like this. He used to sit in a dining chair to wash up because he was so tired. He once hung dirty laundry on the line. He would do a shit job of stuff in the hope I didnt ask again. He never wanted to help.

I used to growl and pace but made him do it.

Hilarious 😆
Hugoslavia · 07/06/2021 23:08

And the next time that he wants a lift somewhere in a hurry, I would keep pulling over and stopping on route, whilst playing some really chilled laid back north American folk music.

Potterymum · 08/06/2021 00:22

I'm pretty sure that you just described my stepchild. He is 28 though.😩

mynameisbiggles · 08/06/2021 07:35

Don't give in. He needs to learn responsibility or he'll turn into a work-shy, milksop, whimp!

knittingaddict · 08/06/2021 07:49

@JustKeep

Why wouldn’t you unload the top layer first? I always do.
Me too.
Blueskytoday06 · 08/06/2021 07:56

Switch the wifi off till it's done - that'll speed up the process

marmitecake · 08/06/2021 08:06

Saw this thread in Active, op, and just wondered if your DS is still unloading the dishwasher. Update please Wink

Bangolads · 08/06/2021 08:21

@Nancylovesthecock so let me get this straight you’ve never actually had a teenager but you’re an authority on raising kids!? Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha