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The OW is miserable with him

342 replies

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 18:43

Split with ex about 6 years ago. I found out he had cheated for the 2nd time (2nd time that I knew about, there could have been more). The end of my relationship and his new relationship overlapped by 3 months. He is still with the OW.

3 months later I met my lovely DP, kind of recycled as we went out with each other at school. We are still together.

Friend met OW through a hobby. Friend assumed OW knew who she was but was just keeping quiet for the sake of peace in the group. However, it appears that OW hasn't clicked that her new hobby friend is a long standing friend of mine. OW has been confiding in friend - her partner / my ex cheats. He also compares her unfavourably to me all the time. Her appearance, career, cooking (and I'm a shit cook), everything. He also tells her that he could get back with me if he wanted to 😂😂😂. No chance of that, he's a dick.

Normally I'd feel sorry for a woman in this situation. But I see her as equally responsible as him for what happened - my life was suddenly turned upside down, I had to move house, was suddenly single, went on a holiday booked for me and ex by myself. It worked out well for me in the end but initially it was turmoil. I feel her actions caused her own misery.

Just wanted to vent 😃.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 20:18

No vengeance here. Just a bit of a gloat that someone who helped turn my life upside down is unhappy.

Yeah that’s not nice. And says something about you that’s unpleasant.

To be clear, he still chose her over you.

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/05/2021 20:18

Good for you @BadgerHair I’m glad you found this out, power to the people 👍 Honestly, what did she think she was doing when she got with him?!
She knew her knew man was a cheating knob yet still got with him. Did she really think he’d never do it to her, is her vaj lined with gold?!! Anyhow, now’s the time to enjoy your new life and forget about those losers.

dontdoubtyourself · 28/05/2021 20:19

Because cheating is also a form of abuse. Why is one OK but not the other?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Giantrooster · 28/05/2021 20:19

@Bluntness100

Gosh, I hope you’re enjoying your gloating and thinking youre all that and a bag of chips. He still cheated on you op.

Nah nah nah, wtf! I think op is full aware of this and the hurt caused by both.

Enjoy your bubbles op.

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 28/05/2021 20:19

Enjoy your moment of gloating.

I found out recently that my exh and the OW have separated and I had a snigger to myself. She also knowingly had an affair with a married man.

Daydrambeliever · 28/05/2021 20:20

See I don't get the karma thing. If karma were actually a thing then what did OP do to deserve her bf cheating on HER in the first place place?

I think your "friend" is a dick. Imagine pretending to be someone's friend!

I think you have every right to be angry and upset with both of them. But to wish abuse on anyone is pretty grim. You dont have to feel sympathy for her but the fact that you're spending so much energy and time discussing them means that he is still abusing you to a certain extent. Let it go.

GlitterBombing · 28/05/2021 20:21

To be clear, he still chose her over you.

Yeah, and that's not very nice.

Why should the OP be nice to two people who hurt her? Because she's female?

Mumoblue · 28/05/2021 20:21

I think it’s natural to feel a bit of schadenfreude at someone who did you dirty having a bad time.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 28/05/2021 20:22

100% agree with @littlepattilou

As much as you’re obviously still hurting from the break up it’s pretty grim that your friend is lying to this woman to basically get information about her relationship and feed back to you like a playground gossip. I know you hate her but it’s pretty vindictive to allow someone to confide in you under false pretences.

Knowing that people who cause damage to others get their comeuppance.
This goes to you and your friend too OP.

GlitterBombing · 28/05/2021 20:23

@dontdoubtyourself

Because cheating is also a form of abuse. Why is one OK but not the other?
Cheating is ok, according to the OW on here.

However, the OW being made miserable by the man she cheated with, is the OP's fault, apparently.

Tistheseason17 · 28/05/2021 20:23

@GlitterBombing

Why do I think a group of OW have found this thread?
I thought this, too!
Lachimolala · 28/05/2021 20:23

@Bluntness100 I imagine a fair amount of embellishment for juicer goss is going on here, OP friends could come clean and say she doesn’t want to be part of those conversations yet isn’t. Begs the question why?

I truly get feeling a little smug or a sense of ‘well that’s your just desserts’ over the cheating, but the rest of it is emotional abuse and truly that’s not funny to me nor could I be spitefully gleeful about it.

dontdoubtyourself · 28/05/2021 20:23

Bluntness100 and I'm sure she's grateful as he's a fucking glittery shit. being picked over another person shouldn't have any impact on her self worth when it means precisely fuck all. He chose someone with similar values to himself. Go him. Sounds like yours aren't far off.

Muchmorethan · 28/05/2021 20:24

Gloat away OP.

She is as guilty as him and has no morals

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 20:25

@SmallPrawnEnergy

100% agree with *@littlepattilou*

As much as you’re obviously still hurting from the break up it’s pretty grim that your friend is lying to this woman to basically get information about her relationship and feed back to you like a playground gossip. I know you hate her but it’s pretty vindictive to allow someone to confide in you under false pretences.

Knowing that people who cause damage to others get their comeuppance.
This goes to you and your friend too OP.

What action have I taken against my ex and the OW?
OP posts:
Crazycatlady83 · 28/05/2021 20:25

I'd enjoy the moment of smugness OP and be thankful that ex and OW found each other - if not, you could have ended up with him forever! Being the "bigger person" is all well and good, but I doubt IRL many could manage it to the extent being spouted on here!

WinterSunglasses · 28/05/2021 20:26

These threads always take this finger-wagging turn. Only on MN would the two people out of the four concerned who didn't cheat and lie be somehow made into the ones in the wrong. Fuck that shit. I

lceniWarrior · 28/05/2021 20:26

@dontdoubtyourself

Because cheating is also a form of abuse. Why is one OK but not the other?
So the OW is open to abuse because the OPs partner cheated with her? She is getting what she deserved is she?

is the OP's fault, apparently. who is saying it's the OPs fault?

Giantrooster · 28/05/2021 20:26

@GlitterBombing

Why do I think a group of OW have found this thread?

Bingo.

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 20:28

@Daydrambeliever

See I don't get the karma thing. If karma were actually a thing then what did OP do to deserve her bf cheating on HER in the first place place?

I think your "friend" is a dick. Imagine pretending to be someone's friend!

I think you have every right to be angry and upset with both of them. But to wish abuse on anyone is pretty grim. You dont have to feel sympathy for her but the fact that you're spending so much energy and time discussing them means that he is still abusing you to a certain extent. Let it go.

As I keep saying, I haven't thought about them for years. This has all come out recently and, given what they did to me, I am not concerned that she is miserable.
OP posts:
BananaBoatFeet · 28/05/2021 20:28

Can't quite put my finger on it, but something is just a bit 'off' with all of this

When I was unhappy I couldn’t stop talking about what was going ok in my life to the extent I even spoke to myself if no one else was near to hand. Strangers on a bus, at the drs, lamp posts, you name it - if it stood still king enough I spoke to it.

Meowchickameowmeow · 28/05/2021 20:28

She got exactly what she paid for but I do think your friend is being a bit of a bitch here. She needs to stop telling you what her other so-called friend is saying.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 28/05/2021 20:29

Think I would just feel sorry for her to be honest. she didn't cheat on you. She might not even have known you existed.

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 20:29

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Think I would just feel sorry for her to be honest. she didn't cheat on you. She might not even have known you existed.
She did know about me. I saw messages on his phone.
OP posts:
BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 20:31

@Meowchickameowmeow

She got exactly what she paid for but I do think your friend is being a bit of a bitch here. She needs to stop telling you what her other so-called friend is saying.
Friend is in a group. It's not her fault that this woman has turned up and started moaning about her relationship to anyone who will listen. Why should my friend have to leave the group because of this woman?
OP posts:
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