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The OW is miserable with him

342 replies

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 18:43

Split with ex about 6 years ago. I found out he had cheated for the 2nd time (2nd time that I knew about, there could have been more). The end of my relationship and his new relationship overlapped by 3 months. He is still with the OW.

3 months later I met my lovely DP, kind of recycled as we went out with each other at school. We are still together.

Friend met OW through a hobby. Friend assumed OW knew who she was but was just keeping quiet for the sake of peace in the group. However, it appears that OW hasn't clicked that her new hobby friend is a long standing friend of mine. OW has been confiding in friend - her partner / my ex cheats. He also compares her unfavourably to me all the time. Her appearance, career, cooking (and I'm a shit cook), everything. He also tells her that he could get back with me if he wanted to 😂😂😂. No chance of that, he's a dick.

Normally I'd feel sorry for a woman in this situation. But I see her as equally responsible as him for what happened - my life was suddenly turned upside down, I had to move house, was suddenly single, went on a holiday booked for me and ex by myself. It worked out well for me in the end but initially it was turmoil. I feel her actions caused her own misery.

Just wanted to vent 😃.

OP posts:
BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:36

@dworky

How is she equally reponsible when she had no relationship with or responsibility to you?
My moral standards are different from yours. I wouldn't enter into a relationship with a man who was already in a relationship.

Appreciate she didn't know me or have any responsibility for me but she still crossed a moral line.

OP posts:
Potteringshed · 28/05/2021 19:37

No, sorry, I still think your "friend" is acting in a deeply unpleasant manner. If OW "latched on", your friend could distance herself or change the subject when OW started talking about her ex. At the very least she is capable of not passing all this information on for your entertainment. She isn't obliged to breach confidence for shits and giggles. She's choosing to. And it's not ok.

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:38

@Thisisus909

No judgement here *@BadgerHair* There is a certain muted pleasure in watching someone get their just desserts with no action at all on your part. Totally different situation but an ex employer made my life hell. He recently went to jail for a long time (unrelated to any work bastardry). I was very quietly thankful to the universe that even if I hadn’t got justice, he had got his comeuppance.
That's exactly it. Knowing that people who cause damage to others get their comeuppance.
OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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MerryChristmasToYou · 28/05/2021 19:39
Grin What goes around...

I hope my XP is bloody miserble. Not bothered about OW's happiness.

Glad you found a decent DP.
Have a good weekend.

MerryChristmasToYou · 28/05/2021 19:39

miserable even

LadyLindaT · 28/05/2021 19:39

A woman that decided she is superior to me, whilst sleeping with my husband whilst I was pregnant. I do not have any respect for that.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/05/2021 19:40

I wouldn’t feel sorry for her at all - assuming she knew he wasn’t single.

As for the cheating - again - given that she knows he’s done it before, if an OW can’t work out that he’s more than likely to do it again, more fool her.

wanadu2022 · 28/05/2021 19:41

Schadenfreude is great isn't it.

She is a grown ass woman and culpable for her own life choices. Hardly vulnerable is she - she chose to go off with a married man, and was dumb enough to think he'd be different with her. She can always leave him if she's that miserable. But until then OP, you enjoy this moment! Karma wants you to.

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:42

@Potteringshed

No, sorry, I still think your "friend" is acting in a deeply unpleasant manner. If OW "latched on", your friend could distance herself or change the subject when OW started talking about her ex. At the very least she is capable of not passing all this information on for your entertainment. She isn't obliged to breach confidence for shits and giggles. She's choosing to. And it's not ok.
My friend and I have known each other for over 20 years. This woman is someone who went out of her way to cause a lot of damage, to me, a long term friend. Friend is not being disloyal, as friend doesn't consider OW to be a friend.

As I said they are in the same hiking group, OW moans to everyone about her relationship but seems to home in on friend and walk next to her, while moaning. OW keeps messaging my friend and asking if she wants to meet up. Friend keeps saying no.

OP posts:
BetterThanKleenex · 28/05/2021 19:44

It's been 6 years and you're still revelling in someone else's misery? Be glad your exh is miserable sure, but not her.

GlitterBombing · 28/05/2021 19:45

Karma. Comeuppance. What goes around, comes around.

When it happens, it feels like the universe is working as it should.

BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:47

@BetterThanKleenex

It's been 6 years and you're still revelling in someone else's misery? Be glad your exh is miserable sure, but not her.
As I said above, I barely think about them anymore. I've just found all this out and I'm having a momentary gloat.
OP posts:
BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:47

@MerryChristmasToYou

Grin What goes around...

I hope my XP is bloody miserble. Not bothered about OW's happiness.

Glad you found a decent DP.
Have a good weekend.

Thank you. You too.
OP posts:
BadgerHair · 28/05/2021 19:50

@LadyLindaT

A woman that decided she is superior to me, whilst sleeping with my husband whilst I was pregnant. I do not have any respect for that.
You poor thing. Ex was a serious boyfriend of several years and we were living together but no kids.

I hope things are better for you now.

OP posts:
Potteringshed · 28/05/2021 19:51

She could say "sorry - am friends with BadgerHair and so don't feel comfortable listening to this". She isn't she's decided that because she "doesn't consider OW a friend" it's ok to be two faced.

Eh. Whatever. Not my monkeys or whatever but I think your mate is a bitch.

EssentialHummus · 28/05/2021 19:52

When a mistress becomes a wife (or in this case the partner) she leaves a vacancy.

This. Enjoy!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 28/05/2021 19:52

@Potteringshed

She could say "sorry - am friends with BadgerHair and so don't feel comfortable listening to this". She isn't she's decided that because she "doesn't consider OW a friend" it's ok to be two faced.

Eh. Whatever. Not my monkeys or whatever but I think your mate is a bitch.

I think your mate's fab. No one put a gun to OW's head and made her chime up about her shagabout loser partner.
RickiTarr · 28/05/2021 19:55

@Potteringshed

She could say "sorry - am friends with BadgerHair and so don't feel comfortable listening to this". She isn't she's decided that because she "doesn't consider OW a friend" it's ok to be two faced.

Eh. Whatever. Not my monkeys or whatever but I think your mate is a bitch.

I agree.

The ex sounds like a really nasty piece of work, but the OW sounds isolated and victimised.

GlitterBombing · 28/05/2021 19:56

I think your mate's fab. No one put a gun to OW's head and made her chime up about her shagabout loser partner.

I agree. The friend and OP sound like really old friends. I'm assuming the friend was there and saw what hurt the OW caused the OP.

NoNever · 28/05/2021 19:56

She made her bed knowing she shared it with a cheating jerk. If she chooses to keep lying in it, I see no reason why anyone should feel bad for her. She went into that one eyes wide open and didn’t care that she was hurting someone else when she did it.

Eggshausted · 28/05/2021 19:56

I would never have a relationship with somebody who was cheating. They are showcasing their dishonesty and gutter morality by cheating. Not attractive.

Tistheseason17 · 28/05/2021 19:57

Jeez, why pity the OW who knowingly entered into a relationship with a married man?
I am sure she was thinking of OP when shagging her husband 🙄

RickiTarr · 28/05/2021 19:58

You keel saw she’s “moaning” OP, but that suggests she’s complaining about something trivial. Psychological abuse from a partner isn’t trivial, and she doesn’t deserve it because she has done things wrong in the past.

RickiTarr · 28/05/2021 19:59

Keep saying^

GlitterBombing · 28/05/2021 20:00

I am sure she was thinking of OP when shagging her husband 🙄

Poor OW, shagging another woman's partner then entering into a relationship with him, not grasping that the same would happen to her.

She just sounds arrogant to me.