The OW is miserable with him

[BadgerHair]

Split with ex about 6 years ago. I found out he had cheated for the 2nd time (2nd time that I knew about, there could have been more). The end of my relationship and his new relationship overlapped by 3 months. He is still with the OW.

3 months later I met my lovely DP, kind of recycled as we went out with each other at school. We are still together.

Friend met OW through a hobby. Friend assumed OW knew who she was but was just keeping quiet for the sake of peace in the group. However, it appears that OW hasn't clicked that her new hobby friend is a long standing friend of mine. OW has been confiding in friend - her partner / my ex cheats. He also compares her unfavourably to me all the time. Her appearance, career, cooking (and I'm a shit cook), everything. He also tells her that he could get back with me if he wanted to 😂😂😂. No chance of that, he's a dick.

Normally I'd feel sorry for a woman in this situation. But I see her as equally responsible as him for what happened - my life was suddenly turned upside down, I had to move house, was suddenly single, went on a holiday booked for me and ex by myself. It worked out well for me in the end but initially it was turmoil. I feel her actions caused her own misery.

Just wanted to vent 😃.

Omg please tell us when your friend tells the OW she knows you and how amazingly happy you are!

Fucking love it!

As for those #BeKind and don't be mean posters. What a lot of bollocks! OP isn't doing anything wrong! The ex and is OW deserve everything thing they get. Why the fuck should she be kind!

Enjoy your drink OP!

Would I be glad if the ows, who wrecked my marriage and mine and my kids lives, life went to shit?

Damn fucking right I would.

@ Sakura7 but there are people on this thread who think that the OW being in an abusive relationship is just karma.

There absolutely was a thread where a woman was gleeful at the fact that her ex and his OW had suffered a stillbirth.

This is the thing about threads on MN, it’s not just the OP’s opinions that are relevant here, there are others who have opinions which are incredibly distasteful.

Given the attitude that is shown towards OW on mn I do often wonder whether people compare having an affair with such offences as murder or child abuse. Because the level of vitriol from some is almost the same.

I'm afraid I have no sympathy for either of them. people who steal other peoples wives/husbands are not worthy of my consideration. You do know that nobody can steal someone’s husband don’t you?

The man presumably had free will, and he was the one in a relationship.

And while the OW should never have got involved, it’s interesting that people are focusing on the OW rather than the man who perpetrated the affair, and is now on to abusing the next woman, and is presumably still living a happy life getting what he wants.

But hey it’s all the OW’s fault.

oh give over Alternative.

The Ex is a deceiving cunt and karma has caught up with Ow. Hopefully she'll see sense and dump the loser. Not before OP has a quiet moment of gloat before continuing on with her life and forget all about them.

Op
My ex cheated on me .
When he left and moved in with OW
Into her house I heard he didn’t love her and wasn’t having a great life but he’d burnt his bridges .
Was I glad... yeah
He had a good life with me

When it came to the divorce , here’s a subscription to a dating site on the form e
So he was cheating on her as well

By that time I couldn’t give two hoots
I was with a new man worth 10 of my ex
She also had to nurse him through terminal cancer a few years later.
So glad it wasn’t me. She was a nurse so it worked out well for both of them.

Well you reap what you sow!

@sunglassesonthetable

Despite op’s repeated protestations that she doesn’t think about her ex much and that it only caused her “short term turmoil”, she’s posting here 6 years after the relationship ended to gloat about how the ow isn’t happy and how she herself is so happy now. Clearly not so happy that she only gives the ex and op a fleeting thought before continuing with her wonderful life, instead she’s preoccupied enough to not only discuss it at length with a friend but post online looking for back-slapping and affirmation. I’m not sure she’s won as much as she thinks she has.

Six years is NOTHING if you've been hurt actually. OP didn't create this situation.

It's a WILD coincidence! And like you'd be so blasé and wouldn't think about it?!! Pull the other one Sammy ??!! You're the one with quite the "wonderful life" ( as you sarcastically put it, ) that this wouldn't make you stop in your tracks? And make you have a good old mull and what passes for that these days, which is chat with internet people. Yeah right.

Revenge is living a happy life. And hopefully you're doing that OP.

Your ex sounds a cunt OP. The OW was playing with fire and she got burnt. Big time.

I have been hurt actually, I know what it’s like. But I don’t let those who hurt me take up my thoughts. When I did once hear that an ex who had hurt me had met with some misfortune, I spent a brief time thanking my lucky stars that I was no longer caught up in that drama and chaos, and that was it. I told the person who passed on the news that I had no interest in hearing anymore, and that was the end of it. No repeated conversations or posting online for validation. Each to their own but that’s how I chose to deal with it. But you carry on with the drama, block capitals and multiple exclamation marks if you wish to.

There absolutely was a thread where a woman was gleeful at the fact that her ex and his OW had suffered a stillbirth.
That's not what happening here though.
I swear some posters really like creative writing.

Plus we don't know the ow is being abused,the op never mentioned it.

Each to their own but that’s how I chose to deal with it.
Tbh I don't remember you being quite so "each to their own" in your last comments. I think it was a bit more judgey than that.

But you carry on with the drama, block capitals and multiple exclamation marks if you wish to.

🙄 oh bore off.

" each to their own" REMEMBER???!!!!

As a woman I feel very sorry for her, but I can’t help but wonder why anyone would become involved with someone who cheats on their partner and shows themselves early on to be a liar who has no issue betraying his nearest and dearest. Hopefully she sees sense and gets herself out of there soon.

Your friend needs to step away from this as that is a betrayal in itself. You may say that she doesn’t see her as a friend so that makes it ok. Your ex probably told ow similar bullshit to justify in order to justify his affair. It doesn’t make it right. You’ve had your fun, now ask her to either step back or come clean.

If the OW being in an emotionally abusive relationship is karma and you reap what you sow then isn't that just another way of saying you think she deserves it?

@sunglassesonthetable

Each to their own but that’s how I chose to deal with it. Tbh I don't remember you being quite so "each to their own" in your last comments. I think it was a bit more judgey than that.

But you carry on with the drama, block capitals and multiple exclamation marks if you wish to.

🙄 oh bore off.

" each to their own" REMEMBER???!!!!

Yeah. Cos you’re not being ‘judgey’ at all in the thread.

@slashlover

If the OW being in an emotionally abusive relationship is karma and you reap what you sow then isn't that just another way of saying you think she deserves it?

Of course it is. But none of those saying it will admit it. I love too how suddenly the answer to being in an abusive relationship is to just leave. So simple. Makes you wonder why all the need for the relationship threads, all the advice getting women to even recognize that they’re in abusive relationships before they even think of gathering themselves to leave.

*Yeah. Cos you’re not being ‘judgey’ at all in the thread.
*
Nope Sammy you're wrong. I judged you.

I love too how suddenly the answer to being in an abusive relationship is to just leave. So simple

🙄 yeah everyone's saying that ....

@slashlover

If the OW being in an emotionally abusive relationship is karma and you reap what you sow then isn't that just another way of saying you think she deserves it?

And there are plenty on the thread slating the ow for what she did, how could she do that to another woman? etc, as is there’s some sisterhood solidarity code, yet they’re happy to hear that the OW now appears to be in an abusive relationship and they’re positively gloating at it... so much for the famed sisterhood.

Dear god Sammy you're making heavy weather of this.

I know you didn't gloat even for a minute, over your ex's misfortune. But I don't think the Ow, given her past shagging OPs ex in OPs bed, is signed up to the 'sisterhood' particularly.

But who exactly is wishing her to be in an abusive relationship?

@sunglassesonthetable

Dear god Sammy you're making heavy weather of this.

I know you didn't gloat even for a minute, over your ex's misfortune. But I don't think the Ow, given her past shagging OPs ex in OPs bed, is signed up to the 'sisterhood' particularly.

But who exactly is wishing her to be in an abusive relationship?

Read the thread, others have already clearly highlighted it.

But for clarity:
From what the op described, the ow is now in an emotionally abusive relationship with the ex.
And many, many posters have gloated at that, revelled in it, virtually rubbed their hands with glee and uttered phrases like ‘you reap what you sow’ etc and mocked this woman.

For the avoidance of any doubt, I don’t think the ow is blameless, but nor would I take any joy in what she is experiencing now.

And my point re the sisterhood is that those castigating the ow for not adhering to it are quick enough to abandon it themselves. It seems it’s conditional, but certain conditions are acceptable and others are not.

If you find that to be ‘heavy weather’, I’m not sure what else I can say to you, tbh.

From what the op described, the ow is now in an emotionally abusive relationship with the ex.
And many, many posters have gloated at that, revelled in it, virtually rubbed their hands with glee and uttered phrases like ‘you reap what you sow’ etc and mocked this woman.

But you do reap what you sow 🤷‍♀️

For the avoidance of any doubt, I don’t think the ow is blameless, but nor would I take any joy in what she is experiencing now.

I would laugh and laugh. And then laugh some more.

Just desserts aren't always that nice.

And my point re the sisterhood is that those castigating the ow for not adhering to it are quick enough to abandon it themselves. It seems it’s conditional, but certain conditions are acceptable and others are not.

Totally disingenuous to conflate a bit of idle "gloating " with wishing someone in an abusive relationship. Simply not equivalent.

And after all the OP did not wish that on the OW, the OW put herself in that postIon AGAINST the OP's wishes. OP DID NOT WANT the OW in that RELATIONSHIP. THat's the point.

But back to you and the sisterhood and revelling at women into abusive relationships, etc etc and other nonsense.

For the avoidance of any doubt, I don’t think the ow is blameless, but nor would I take any joy in what she is experiencing now.

It really is a case of " good for you" Sammy,
👍🏻🏅

@sunglassesonthetable

And my point re the sisterhood is that those castigating the ow for not adhering to it are quick enough to abandon it themselves. It seems it’s conditional, but certain conditions are acceptable and others are not.

Totally disingenuous to conflate a bit of idle "gloating " with wishing someone in an abusive relationship. Simply not equivalent.

And after all the OP did not wish that on the OW, the OW put herself in that postIon AGAINST the OP's wishes. OP DID NOT WANT the OW in that RELATIONSHIP. THat's the point.

But back to you and the sisterhood and revelling at women into abusive relationships, etc etc and other nonsense.

You’re the one who introduced the term ‘wishing her to be in an abusive relationship’. I stated that others are gloating at the fact that she’s in one, I never said they were wishing it on her. And they are gloating. And proud of it. Deny it all you like, call it nonsense if you wish, it won’t take away from the fact that many posters are doing it.

@sunglassesonthetable

For the avoidance of any doubt, I don’t think the ow is blameless, but nor would I take any joy in what she is experiencing now.

It really is a case of " good for you" Sammy,
👍🏻🏅

If this is the level of discourse you’re reduced to, I’m out. Enjoy your gloating at the woman who is being abused.

Sammy lovely, whatevs, read back when you were criticising the use of CAPs.... 🙄