I think my Husband is dying

[DollyParsnip]

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Message from MNHQ - Please read the OP's updates before posting on the thread. Thank you.

So sorry, I hope you have some good news soon.

I am so sorry to hear this. Please ask chaplaincy for any support you can get. There are lots of people in real life who can support you - and you have us on here too.

You and your DD will get through this - just take one day at a time. xx

So sorry OP.
Sending you strength and hoping there will be good news soon

Adding my thoughts and prayers

Wishing you positive thoughts xxxx

So sorry to hear this, it must be so traumatic for you and your DD. The weeing is a positive sign, I really hope he continues to improve.
I don't know if stories like this are helpful but I have been there visiting my brother in ICU and it got to the point where they started talking to us about organ donation, but he did pull through against all the odds and is absolutely fine now.
Sending best wishes to you all x

Aww this is so sad OP. I’m sorry to read this. You’ve certainly put things in perspective for me this evening when I was feeling a bit dirty for myself.

I hope it’s good news OP. Keep us updated xxx

sorry not dirty

So sorry for you and your family truly devastating 💐

I'm so sorry to read this and I am another stranger who will thinking of you and your daughter.

Lots of good advice but to a PP, he hasn't died!

What a dreadful shock for you. I am so very sorry - sending hugs and prayers. Hoping you have good news.

Oh my dear, I'm so, so sorry you're going through such a terrible time. The old cliche about "where there's life there's hope" is only a cliche because it's true - hang on to that. Will be praying for your husband to make a full recovery.

Thinking of you, the shock alone plus such uncertainty

I'm so sorry to read this, thinking of you all xxx

Hoping your DH gets through it OP. Take it day by day. Wishing you all the best

We are all praying in our own ways for you and your family. All of our hopes and love are with you

Sending as much positive wishes to you and your husband

Thinking of you and hoping for better news for you.

I am so sorry, you’re living through a nightmare. I really hope for a miracle, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.

I’ve known others who have lost their partners prematurely, whilst there has been lots of sadness there’s been some epic strength too, you WILL get through this. But let’s hope that’s not the case, while there’s life there’s hope. Xxx

I'm so sorry OP, sending you all best wishes.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Talk to the hospital about letting your daughter come in at least once to say goodbye; they can give you good advice on this. This is so hard on both of you.

Hi @DollyParsnip. I do sort of understand the position you are in as have been through similar with my best friend very recently.

At the moment they will be doing lots of tests to help care for him and understand the impact this has had on his brain. Keep talking to him and try and eat and keep yourself well

I’d recommend spending some time with hospital Chaplin. I found time with a reverend useful even though I’m not religious.

I’m not sure if your 11 year old has seen her Dad but it might be something to talk about.

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter OP, and for your poor DH! What a shock having such an outcome after planned surgery. It sounds like they are taking great care of him though, and keeping you informed too. I hope he is on the mend soon.

Sending you and your DD a huge hug. Having worked in ICU, keep talking to the team there - share your worries, ask lots of questions, they are amazing people. Also agree with PP about Chaplaincy services, especially as visiting is limited, they will be happy to hold your hand through this even if you do not have Faith

I am so sorry to hear this, it must be horrific to go through this. Thinking of you and your daughter.