I think my Husband is dying

[DollyParsnip]

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Message from MNHQ - Please read the OP's updates before posting on the thread. Thank you.

Oh that's great he's started weeing @DollyParsnip - the team must be really encouraged with this.

It must be so hard to see him like this - hopefully they'll be able to close his chest soon if he continues to improve.

Sounds like your DD takes after you your DH must be super proud x

Praying for you all, may the wind turn around.

What a horrible time for you @DollyParsnip
I’m glad you have support, make sure you use it.

It is scary, the limbo. I think not knowing is often scarier.

Big love to you.

Sending you all lots of love & praying that your DH will pull through

Thinking of you and your DH OP.

A couple of thoughts (from my experience as an icu doc)... as pp suggested the hospital chaplains can be a brilliant source of support through something like this and are usually happy to help even if you consider yourself to have faith/be religious. They are also staff so can usually provide support at the bedside for you at a time when visiting is limited so you may not have anyone else to handhold with you.

Also, paediatricians and paed nurses are often able to help support families with young children to help with any psychological issues that may be brewing (they may be able to talk about some of the medical stuff in a way that school support staff can’t so comfortably) - if no one’s mentioned it already it may be worth asking about this if you think it’s help your daughter.

Hope things begin to improve for you all soon.

@DollyParsnip

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Hi so sorry to hear whats happened. I really hope they sort it. If theres a any chance at all, they will keep him on support im sure. My DH was in hospital last month for serious issues too and they are sorting it, so please keep the faith

Hi OP

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Use this space to unload as much as you want but don’t feel obligated to come back to it if you need space too.

There is a wonderful lady on here called Wardrobes (that’s not her full handle but her thread was “wardrobes husband icu”. Her DH had Covid with some awful complications and she spent a long time back and forth to hospital and riding a wave of the unknown. She handled it remarkably and whilst I don’t remember the outcome for her she was incredible and may have advice on managing day to day and understand your emotions better than I can if you can find her and want to reach out.

Sending you good wishes and hopes for the best x

Sending lots of love xx

Everything crossed for you and your family.

Sorry to hear this @DollyParsnip - I hope all turns out ok. xxx

Thinking of you and your family.

So sorry

So sorry for what you are going through. 💐

Thinking of you and your family at this time. Lots of love.

Just wanted to add my love and good wishes x

Sending lots of love and hope your way

I am so sorry you are going through this, it's such a horrendous time for you all. Sending love and thinking of you.

Thinking of you and your daughter op x

How terrifying, I'm so sorry. I hope things look a bit better soon.

I’m so sorry OP. This is such a heartbreaking thing to go through. It’s not the same thing at all but when my twins were born one was very poorly in NICU and we had no idea what was going on with them - there was just so much unknown, so much waiting for answers, it’s incredibly surreal and doesn’t feel like it’s happening to you. I felt completely disassociated from everything around me. I hope you get all the support you need to face whatever comes - I’m so sorry this is happening

So sorry, hoping for a miracle for you.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Hang in there - I'm also so sorry this is happening.

Hold on to the fact that it is easier for the staff to warn you of the worst possible outcomes from the beginning. If they are still fighting, there is still hope.

Like all on here - wishing the best for you and comfort in these terrible night-mare like days.

Thinking of you