Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I think my Husband is dying

816 replies

DollyParsnip · 25/05/2021 19:11

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Message from MNHQ - Please read the OP's updates before posting on the thread. Thank you.

OP posts:
Paddy1234 · 27/05/2021 21:58

Thinking of you ❤️

Mumtofourandnomore · 27/05/2021 23:11

I’m thinking of you op, sending you love for whatever comes next - you sound really strong, but I bet it doesn’t feel like that at night when all is quiet xx

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/05/2021 23:15

Still thinking of you all, and hoping the scan gives you an idea of the way aheadThanks

IslandLulu · 27/05/2021 23:53

Take care Dolly Thanks

SkodaKodiaq · 28/05/2021 00:02

@dollypartonshirspray Sending more positivity. I truly hope everything is ok and that you're getting some rest DaffodilBrewCake

funnyoldonion · 28/05/2021 06:56

Thinking of you op

ThonsDesperate · 28/05/2021 07:33

What a terrible situation for you and your DD. Sending you my very best wishesThanks

Pompom2367 · 28/05/2021 07:34

Hope you are ok op you are being so strong your DH will be proud x

mynameisigglepiggle · 28/05/2021 09:02

Thinking of you @Dolly hope you get some good news

schofieldsunderpants · 28/05/2021 14:16

Still thinking of you Dolly x

OVienna · 28/05/2021 18:40

Same here Dolly.

momtoboys · 28/05/2021 19:12

Thinking of you all.

FizzPopping · 28/05/2021 22:12

Thinking of you op x

1WayOrAnother2 · 29/05/2021 00:15

Hang in there and do hope if it helps!

Twenty years ago (tomorrow eve to be exact) my husband suffered a serious head injury - cracked his skull like a boiled egg and (as the doctor told me after a bad night) this damaged part of his brain so badly they might as well have scooped it out and thrown it away.

He then suffered a bleed on the brain and all seemed lost.

There was little hope. He nearly died many times over the following weeks. (Half the ICU ward died in the first weekend he was there.)

He woke weeks later -paralyzed, speachless and confused - thin as a bundle of sticks... but he recovered over many months and is now back with us - back at work and back to everything else too .

His old personality is all him - his cussedness got him through and his humour made it bearable.

May this happen for you.

notapizzaeater · 29/05/2021 00:21

So sorry to read this, my DH died in Jan and was comatose for the last few days. I talked to him all the time and got DS to talk to him too. ((hugs))

Teapotsandtablecloths · 29/05/2021 00:27

Thinking of you and your family OP, x

me4real · 29/05/2021 01:41

Hugs @DollyParsnip xxx

Original poster
DollyParsnip · 29/05/2021 05:31

Good morning

I lost my lovely boy yesterday afternoon, about tea time; the damage to his brain was so severe and complete that it was not survivable. In all likelihood he had probably gone on the table last Thursday when his operation went wrong.

I was with him at the end and it was so calm and gentle and peaceful, he slipped away accompanied by one of his favourite songs.

There is likely to be an inquest and DD doesn't know (she was at a sleepover and so ridiculously excited) but I know how bloody lucky I was to be able to be with him and have this last week with him.

Thank you again for keeping us in your thoughts, and for sharing your stories and experiences with me. They have been so gratefully received.

OP posts:
Inkanta · 29/05/2021 05:39

Oh no - so sorry Flowers

Nestlyn · 29/05/2021 05:41

I am so sorry for your loss. X

squeezingin · 29/05/2021 05:42

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength for the days ahead and especially for telling your DD. Flowers

MumofSpud · 29/05/2021 05:47

So sorry to hear your sad news Thanks

whereiwanttobe · 29/05/2021 05:49

I'm so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your little girl. He must have been a very special man to be loved so much x

SanJunipero · 29/05/2021 05:49

I'm so very sorry for your loss - there are no words.

I was where you are 2.5 years ago, so I know how terrifying/surreal this initial stage can be. You may find that it doesn't really sink in for quite some time. Like you, I was able to be with my wife when she died and I find that I can take great comfort from that.

Keep talking on here if it helps; there are lots of widows and also just generally lovely people on Mumsnet who can provide support and a listening ear. Also, when you're ready, there's a national charity called Widowed and Young that provides peer support for people widowed before their 51st birthday. It can help a lot to know that you're not alone in all this (and you really aren't).

You've been in my thoughts these past few days and will continue to be xxx

Eileen101 · 29/05/2021 05:51

I'm so sorry op Flowers your love really shines through.

Sending you strength and love for the days ahead.Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread