I think my Husband is dying

[DollyParsnip]

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Message from MNHQ - Please read the OP's updates before posting on the thread. Thank you.

Sending you a Thursday hug OP

There just really aren’t the words OP.

But there is a squadron of mumsnetters right behind you 🌻

@Wills

wanted to send love. As someone whose husband has cancer but has been dealing with cancer for over 25 years but who I've been with almost 30, its been like having the sword of Damocles over us the entire time! But, it means I've never taken him for granted! Which means I've envisaged what you're going through multiple times. I can't begin to describe how much love I'm trying to send you. But please any time you need to talk just pm me! It's so hard. Sending more than hugs/love. It seems so stupid to say be strong cos of course you'll be that but that almost means if you cry you weren't strong enough. Believe me that's total crap! The British belief in "Stiff upper lip" is awful. If you need to cry, do so lovely - just let it out and anyone who doesn't support you fully - well let them get fully crapped on by birds!!! Don't forget that your emotions count, that being strong for your daughter isn't necessarily the best thing - that crying together - that longing for the future stolen for you regardless of whether he recovers or not - is not a bad thing. It brings home those individuals who have broken a toe nail etc who have v. little to complain. Much love and sooooo many hugs!

Just want to send you love as well. I know what you are going through, having been in a similar position. It’s so hard, loving someone who has a lengthy illness, and not knowing whether the next lot of test results are going to mean that there’s nothing more they can do. 💐

Afternoon all, they're trying for DH's brain scan this afternoon then we are due up at the hospital later for the preliminary report - I think whatever that says will depend on what happens next. Apparently there will be other scans / tests anyway, (and the neuro people will want to review it all) so maybe a little clarity later.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I have lost the DH who went into hospital, if there is recovery he will undoubtedly be changed physically and mentally and so will me and DD. I feel quite peaceful with this (now, anyway!).

Just thanks again for your support and kindness and hope xxx

Hugs hugs and more we are all here for you.💐💐💐💐

Minute by minute OP. Minute by minute.

Hope can carry us far. x

Hoping you get some encouraging news today.

hoping and praying you will get some encouraging news

Thinking of you, xx

Wish you luck for this afternoon

Sending thoughts your way op.

All the very best for this afternoon/evening Dolly. I'll be thinking of you x

I really hope you are all okay.

That's so true that the one who eventually emerges may differ to the one you recognise. Went through similar last year and the uncertain outcome is very difficult and potential recovery long. Fingers crossed the scans are better news.

I have everything crossed you get some positive news this afternoon

Thinking of you. Hope there is some positive news from the brain scan

Hoping for positive news , sending hugs xx

Still in my thoughts op! Keeping my fingers crossed for good news!

Such a difficult time, thinking of you

Still have everything crossed for you 💐

thinking of you x

Fingers crossed. Keep us updated. x

How old is your dh and what surgery did he have. Hope it goes OK xxx

I hope you get positive news op x

Thinking of you op x