Does it make someone a LGBTQ ally if they wear the pride lanyard but object when a transgender person uses their restroom ?

[thecatmother]

In my workplace we are very open and inclusive and many colleagues chose to wear their IDs on the Pride lanyards and are very active participants in all the Pride related events.
So far so peaceful, or so I thought, we had a new colleague joining recently, it is a lady who is transitioning from being born a man. She is very polite and just gets on with her work and day. I wasn't surprised to see her using the Ladies, unfortunately a number of my colleagues have formed an opinion about that. The management has been supporting the new colleague, and they held "conversations " with the complaining parties.
However, those people are still wearing their Pride lanyards, I can't get my head around that. The lanyards are purely on volunteer basis, we have generic ones. I generally wonder whether they actually realise that being an ally is not about getting drunk on Pride , but actually to be supportive to the people of LGBTQ.

'Could you honestly not tell the difference between a group of young men a group of young women?'

Annie Lennox was barred from performing in a USA venue (iirc) as they didn't approve of men wearing makeup

I'll look for a link.

I certainly remember boy George causing a lot of confusion as well amongst some. Genuinely 'is that a man or a woman?'!

Then of course there was the awesome Marilyn.

I think it's unfair to disparage a poster for growing up in a 'backwater' because they're putting the other side as it were

I'm not disparaging him for growing up in a backwater. I'm disparaging of the patronising mansplaining comment. Just because he wasn't there doesn't mean it didn't happen. I'm not sure exactly how I'm suggesting he is a liar. Although seemingly he thinks I am. Anyway. I'm sure he's more than capable of speaking for himself. 🤷

Whether a cross dresser wants to be female or not really doesn't matter - they can't be. You don't wear being female. Just please can the trans identified males get the heck out of female spaces. The provision of unisex facilities is not on women to fix - it is down to the men who attack other men and women. This is not a female problem.

I think soulman is getting a hard time.

I'm older as well and grew up in London. Ok I was at school but yes you could tell the men from the women on the street.

I wouldn't call Goth a fashion btw it's a whole... Thing? The goths from back then are still goths now. Albeit with comfier shoes and trousers and somewhat fewer black wedding dresses and basques

I can well understand why a 16yo boy then who was dressed not new romantic/ punk/ goth (and yes you could if course tell male female) but as a standard girl on the high street would be fearful in the gents. (That's an assumption about the mode of dress).

And the thing is before this recent determination to break all the boundaries around males going into women's carved out stuff irrespective of how they behaved what they looked like.. It wasn't a problem.

A scared looking teen boy in girls clothes head down in the bog I mean I wouldn't have said anything.

The current activists have fucked it up for EVERYONE in their mission to let any and all men to lay claim to anything that was just for women. Taken our words. Told us our biology is irrelevant and unmentionable. And that we must accept this smiling and even applaud it.

I understand that women are angry. But I think that soulman is probably someone who has also got fucked over by this, in a different way.

@Imasoulman I am not sure whether you intend to come across so pompously, but you are appearing to be very passive aggressive, attacking and forceful.

There is a lot to be said for mixed facilities.

Do you mean mixed sex or mixed gender?
Do you actually understand the difference?

Growing up in a backwater is not a neutral thing to say.

You implied it was a lie about growing up in the 80s.

Twitter does good/evil very well.

I want to hear some other views.

Even if sadly I've been sold lies more than once. Yes I'm bizarrely trusting despite my life experiences! Just my personality.

I don't want a fight but also I did see those things, and I understand the anger, as personal.

Master if it's the strangely timely flooding at work, must mean mixed sex AND mixed gender.

In old school big room with happy cubicles.

Yay?!

DetroitInTheCity yes thats how it comes across to me. I'm not sure why there's an expectation for women to be nice, keep the peace and be pleasant anyway in the face of that.

Gappy not happy!

Well I'm not arguing with you gerbil. We're different people, with different opinions. And that's fine. Let's leave it there.

Erikrie, I hear you. I am not in the mood for backing down, I'm afraid.

DetroitInTheCity me neither. That time has passed.

@Eririe Right on, Sister...For what it is worth I totally agree. It is actually laughable the way Imasoulman tried to talk over me and suggest I hadn't read what he had written otherwise I would obviously agree with his male self. LOL. Picked the wrong woman, and the wrong day, I'm afraid!

DetroitInTheCity I hear you.

Erikrie 😁

• If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today. Win win.*

Excellent point! There’s not really any reasonable riposte to that at all!

And lo! The women’s bathroom flooded and women overcame their nervousness about using the men’s “restrooms”. Avoiding the urinals they scurried to the stalls but whilst at the basins they dared to look up and in doing so looked into the eyes of the men who were also doing so.

As they did so their misgivings fell away - they realised that their concerns about loss of safety, privacy, dignity and men masturbating in female toilets and uploading it to porn sites were all unfounded, because none of that ever happens. Instead, locking gazes with those they had erstwhile sought to repel, through their shared use of the automatic soap dispenser, they understood that men, woman, all those labels were unimportant, everyone there just wanted to pee.

Is that how the story ends?

[quote DetroitInTheCity]@Eririe Right on, Sister...For what it is worth I totally agree. It is actually laughable the way Imasoulman tried to talk over me and suggest I hadn't read what he had written otherwise I would obviously agree with his male self. LOL. Picked the wrong woman, and the wrong day, I'm afraid![/quote]

I guess you are just trying to goad me into an argument.
If you had read my posts you would know that I am all for single sex spaces, toilets, changing rooms whatever, along side unisex spaces.
I don't understand why you think I am the enemy and seem hell bent on an argument so I am going to disengage from you.
I'm really sorry that you are so angry all the time

And that was a really patronising response.

Shame.

Bloody angry feminists eh

Lgb sexuality. T not. Rainbow now not just about lgb apparently so lanyard wearers bit behind the... symbolic fashion?

Most people are not aware of all this though.

Most wearing them will be showing they are allies according to work talks etc, have gay (and maybe even lesbian- much fewer out in my industry) colleagues that they want to support.

I'm really sorry that you are so angry all the time

Lol

I don't understand why you think I am the enemy and seem hell bent on an argument so I am going to disengage from you

Maybe you could look back at your posts and work that out for yourself.

Just a thought...

@masterstef wait, gender identity isn't based on stereotypes? Please explain what it is based on? Not stereotypical roles, appearance, interests, traits or feelings. What then? What IS the new definition of gender if it's nothing to do with these things?