Does it make someone a LGBTQ ally if they wear the pride lanyard but object when a transgender person uses their restroom ?

[thecatmother]

In my workplace we are very open and inclusive and many colleagues chose to wear their IDs on the Pride lanyards and are very active participants in all the Pride related events.
So far so peaceful, or so I thought, we had a new colleague joining recently, it is a lady who is transitioning from being born a man. She is very polite and just gets on with her work and day. I wasn't surprised to see her using the Ladies, unfortunately a number of my colleagues have formed an opinion about that. The management has been supporting the new colleague, and they held "conversations " with the complaining parties.
However, those people are still wearing their Pride lanyards, I can't get my head around that. The lanyards are purely on volunteer basis, we have generic ones. I generally wonder whether they actually realise that being an ally is not about getting drunk on Pride , but actually to be supportive to the people of LGBTQ.

If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today

Oh didnt think of this...good point

@thecatmother

In a very ironic strike of fate the ladies restrooms flooded this morning. As we were left temporarily sans facilities everyone had to share the 🚹. Nobody minded, Nobody complained everyone just did their business. There is a lot to be said for mixed facilities. Peace and joy to all, enjoy your weekend.

You found the urinal met your needs, did you?

If I was a woman working in such a company I’d be tempted to start using the men’s toilets all the time. See how they bloody like it. ManFriday and all that.

You found the urinal met your needs, did you?

I reckon so.

I don't think this thread went quite the way OP thought it would. I have no sympathy.

Anyone who gets snarky about rape survivors can [deleted by mumsnet] him/herself.

@Erikrie

You found the urinal met your needs, did you?

I reckon so.

😂

If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today

Excellent.

@KaleSlayer

If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today

Excellent.

Awaits return of OP to tell us TW wasn't in today & toilets will be fixed before TW returns.

If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today.
Win win.

Precisely.

How on earth did you know no one minded! It is just an agenda you are pushing, insisting that no woman is allowed to disagree and actually, you know, mind. There should never have to be a reason given for not wanting to share single sex spaces with men, we should not have to justify or argue the point. The little popping in with a cute ending to the story, where the women's bathrooms are out of order, and everyone is forced to share is just too neat, isn't it.
I MIND. I mind sharing spaces. Being forced into shared spaces has been incredibly traumatic to me. I have to share shelter space with men and it has been absolutely awful upon occasion, verging on the dangerous. I fucking mind.

That's some work of fiction OP. Either that or you purposefully stuffed up the ladies with wads of toilet paper.

In a very ironic strike of fate the ladies restrooms flooded this morning.

You're American, I guess? Are these "restrooms" there or in the U.K.? Just curious.

If no one minded and no one complained then the trans woman can back to using the men's like they presumably did before they transitioned. After all, they didn't mind or complain today.
Win win.

Perfect solution, no?

There is a lot to be said for mixed facilities

That's going to be my new rebuke. Go deleted by Mumsnet yourself.

@Erikrie

There is a huge difference between young men following a fashion trend which involved wearing blouses and make up and actually going out dressed and trying to "be" a girl.

Are you sure you were around in the 80s. A little bit more than just wearing make up and a blouse dude. Sometimes it was quite different to tell the difference.

So tell me. What's the difference between them then and the men declaring that they are women now? Both wearing the same / similar 'female' clothes and make up. What separates them? Anything?

There may have been the occasional beautiful boy in a band or on the telly but I can't say it was an everyday occurrence at least not in my area. The people I saw in real life were a much more toned down version of the people that I would see on telly.

Could you honestly not tell the difference between a group of young men a group of young women?
The difference between new romantics and Trans people? Do you really need that explained ?

Detroit

ArabellaScott 💪🌺🌸

The difference between new romantics and Trans people? Do you really need that explained ?

Goth culture. Gender bending. Real gender bending. Not new romantics. Clearly that didn't extend to whatever backwater you live in. Or you didn't grow up in the 80s.
Hth.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

I am sorry that your friend feels that she has to seek out unisex facilities, that's not fair and in an ideal world without the current trend of self IDing she would probably feel much comfortable and most people I'm sure would be more accepting.
I have nothing but admiration for her. What a strong person she must be.
I have to assume your friend who cross dresses doesn't actually want to be female, the cross dressers that I know have generally either got a fetish or just find comfort in dressing.
As far as toilets etc go I don't think you can compare the two.
Sorry if I'm missing your point I genuinely hope I am not

Not sure what circle you want me to square?

I want men and women to have separate facilities along side unisex , I have never said otherwise.

I've had to use the gents before in various situations and it's been fine.

That just reminded me, I was on a (long) journey to a meeting with a colleague, we stopped at the services / garage and only the men's toilet was in order. He stood guard outside, I'm not sure I would have been so comfortable had I been alone.

@Erikrie

The difference between new romantics and Trans people? Do you really need that explained ?

Goth culture. Gender bending. Real gender bending. Not new romantics. Clearly that didn't extend to whatever backwater you live in. Or you didn't grow up in the 80s.
Hth.

All of those groups are just fashion movements ! I'm sure they attracted many from the trans community for obvious reasons but they were never about males trying to present as females.

If it puts your mind at rest I was born in '67 and I was bought up in Sussex

All of those groups are just fashion movements !

If you think that, then arguably, trans culture is a fashion movement also.

I'm sure they attracted many from the trans community for obvious reasons but they were never about males trying to present as females.

No. They knew they were men. The majority did anyway. Pretty hard to tell the difference between many men wearing a dress then, and a transwoman wearing a dress now. The only difference being is that transwoman are saying they are a woman. Whatever that is supposed to mean. As a woman is an adult human female. Not something you can just put woman face on and identify as.

Clearly though you don't know much about that culture as you weren't part of it, if you experience is limited to new romantics and who you saw on TV. Nor are you a woman.

Just catching up.

I think it's unfair to disparage a poster for growing up in a 'backwater' because they're putting the other side as it were.

It is true that in cities and if course in London it was more relaxed than if you grew up in other parts of the country.

Can't we just stick to the conversation rather than getting personal/ suggesting people are liars. Please?