why do you think your single friends are single?

[forkjuggler]

I'm the single friend here. All my friends married or in long term relationships. By contrast, I'm divorced and have always been the one in 1-3 year relationships while they've all been coupled up. We were chatting about my terrible luck with men and I get all the usual platitudes from them about there being someone out there for me.

However, I can't help thinking they'll all have views about why I'm in my 40's and still without a decent relationship. Can it really be bad luck???

I'm interested in views from you lot on why you think some people struggle to meet anyone decent, while others pair up with ease?

Wholeheartedly agree with Awwlookatmybabyspider and IceCreamAndCandyfloss
I have always thought it better to be with no one than the wrong one.

Wish I have quite a few single friends, in their 50s-60s+, maybe it is just my circle but they all have busy, active lives with plenty of friends and 'support'. They get involved in things, are open to new ideas and are certainly not wanting a man 'to dangle off their arm' (love that expression). Compare that to friends of similar ages who are unpaid carers to grandchildren and staying with increasingly grumpy old men .... I know which life I'd prefer .

I was the single friend for years until I met DH in my mid-thirties. For me it was I just never met someone who either liked me how I liked them, or vice versa. I also was carrying self-esteem issues from a previous relationship and was a bit overweight which didn't help with my self image and belief I was worthy. Meeting DH unexpectedly showed me it was me was the barrier to me finding someone.

I have a number of friends who are single in their 40s now. A couple are divorced with kids and a couple have no kids. I strongly suspect with them it's a combination of either no one meets their ideal or they are scared/don't believe they deserve it. In one case it's been too many bad endings.

I believe life is better when you're part of a team and I'd love for them all to find someone and settle, but truthfully, the 4 people I'm thinking of all seem really happy and busy and fulfilled. So maybe this is their happy ever after?