Trapped toddler parents:"Where else can you post tuff tray pictures and moan about your husband?"

[PinkDaydreams]

Following on from the previous thread. Thanks @footprintsintheslow for the thread title inspiration 😁

Well I win worst mum award today before 7am...we had a 4.30 start this morning so I'm shattered, and while running around trying to do all the things I'd forgotten to move my hot water off the coffee table.

DS is fine and not burnt, thankfully it wasn't that hot any more, but he did upend the full cup and got a significant amount on him. Then I actually shouted at him out of panic and said he was stupid for doing it. DH ran out and checked him over, and managed to get him to sleep.

Feel absolutely terrible and had a good cry afterwards. Still teary now. Hoping we can have a better day after he wakes up again, planning to visit a new playground today.

Hope everyone else has a better day than me!

@squishymama You're not the worst mum, we've all had mistakes and near misses. Hope you're okay and are having a better morning now.

Having an okay morning here, DD was awake at 5 and very angry at me for an hour because I wouldn't let her feed from me when she woke up. I had started doing it again and she was waking earlier and earlier so it's gone.

DS is in a jolly mood so that's good, not sure what our plan is today. It's raining so will probably descend into my mum's house.

@squishymamma don't punish yourself, you're not the worst mother, it was an accident and thankfully your little one is fine. Go gentle on yourself and try have a nice day today, do something nice for yourself, even if it's just treating yourself to your favourite biscuit.

I've been struggling to get DS to do any mark making. I've bought him a wipe clean activity book and some dry erase pens with rubbers on the lids. He's been lying on floor with them for ages. He isn't actually doing the activities but he's doing controlled lines instead of speed scribbling and then rubbing them out

That sounds brilliant @Motherofmonsters, it's good he's doing controlled lines. I've got some of those for my DS1. Does your DS like mazes? I think those maze books are good for helping with pencil control too.

Have you seen those tablets you can get with a pen thing? I've wondered if they would be any good for mark making/writing practice. DS1 likes to try drawing lines with a pencil and ruler sometimes. He can do it for a bit then usually gets annoyed when they go wobbly.

Ah @squishymamma, hope you are feeling better about it now. Try not to worry. We all have those days and similar experiences. It's just normal crazy life with a toddler. I looked round the other day and DS2 had a pen lid in his mouth .

It's been raining here so we've had a McDonald's car picnic breakfast as Just had to get out as boys were fighting over who got to put foam blocks in the toy Henry hoover.

Possible library trip for later on.

How's everyone today?

I'm feeling very flat, I've been told again that DS is going to struggle in school. They want to try staggered starts to see if that makes a difference. I know it's probably a good thing to try but slightly worried it'll escalate in them pushing him out. I'm sure it won't but it's a little niggle in the back of the head. I just feel at a loss with it.

@Motherofmonsters ah, sending you some support. I've no experience of school with DC as yet as DS1 will start next year but they won't be looking to push your DS out. It seems very premature for them to stare he will struggle, is it the preschool saying that?

How do the staggered starts work and surely you don't have to agree? Why not just see how he gets on? There will be loads of children taking their time to settle in surely?

Thanks @chocolatetrifle, yes the pre school manager. He's been having meltdowns, Showing unwanted sensory behaviour for example running into the other children, not joining in activities properly. It means he'll join the class 30minutes later when they are all in and settled down, I've said we can trail it and see if it makes a difference. I knew he was going to struggle but them confirming it makes it real

@Motherofmonsters, it's such a big step starting school for them isn't it and for us as parents? We just want the best for them.

Have they used this method before of someone starting 30 minutes later? Assume so, therefore they must think it will help him?

I have no experience so just thinking aloud for you here. It's another couple of months yet until the start of term, will he carry on going to preschool over the summer or not?

Would it be worthwhile just trying to see how he gets on going in at a normal time and letting him settle with everyone else and then take it from there? You could always try a staggered start then if you think it would benefit him. How do you feel yourself about what you want to do?

Ive had a look on a couple pages on Facebook and does seem to be a thing that is done so I think I'll go with it for the minute. He won't be going over summer so he might be different when he goes but I doubt it as this has been going on since he was 18months. I don't know how I feel I just want him to not have these struggles. I'm looking forward to the summer break so I don't have to think about it

@Motherofmonsters, your DS may just settle into big school just like that and may not struggle at all! Hope you feel better about things soon. I'm sure lots of kids find the big school environment strange at first too. Sending you support x

Well to add to my feeling crap on pick up a kid said 'that's 'DS' he's not kind...
He can be but struggles a lot especially at school.

Hope everyone else is in a chirpier mood

Thanks for all the kind words everyone, we've just had a lot of near misses lately and my mind goes to "but what if it had gone worse". I guess he's suddenly able to do all these things he couldn't before and we need to readjust to that.

@Motherofmonsters sending support. It's a real mix of emotions there - good that they want to proactively help him, but also hard that he has to go through this and that he struggles. School is different to preschool though so maybe he'll adapt after he's been there a little while. Hoping you all have a wonderful summer holiday where you can forget all about it!

We've now had 2 days in a row where we've gone out and DS has managed to find the only puddle in the vicinity and sit in it. Seems to be his favourite thing at the moment. Luckily it's warm so not so much of an issue, but it's tiring having to do a whole outfit change...

Oh @Motherofmonsters it is hard. Like I said earlier DD1 went thru similar. She flapped her hands, lost concentration and in the eyes of hee keyworker "went backwards" in development.

Turns out she wasn't that happy at preschool.- the kid saying DS is unkind rings alarm bells for me - do you think maybe another child is being nasty to him?
For DD1 her issues were things she grew out of.
But, if you do think he might be on the spectrum or similar, could you take him to see someone privately? We did with DD1, it was about £400 all told and helped us feel more confident. I appreciate not everyone will be able to.do that, but is it an option?

Here, the twins are in overtired mode. DD2 weeping with tiredness in her cot whilst DS shouts "Iiiiii"m a hexagoooon" football chant style.

Christ knows where he got that from.

Our neighbours are childless and I always say living next to us must be like the best contraceptive ever! I remember the first day they moved in, I was in the back garden being a horsey, wearing something with snot or lunch down it, and the expressions on their faces were just so pitying.....

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff how did the rest of your night go?

You know you're a toddler parent when waking up at 6am is amazing DS slept pretty well last night, which was probably good because I didn't go to bed until after the match which was midnight here...feeling it this morning!

We've been playing with cars and now just playing a numbers game on the tablet, though I don't think DS understands any of it...going to get outside in a bit and have a friend coming later today for coffee so that will be nice. Might be able to squeeze in a nap maybe...

Hope everyone has a good day.

@Motherofmonsters I think what Jonny says makes a lot of sense, is it a very "formal" nursery? For eg, DS1 (summer born boy) showed v little interest in picking up a pencil in nursery and no one made me feel like I should worry/practise.
Do they get a lot of outside time? (I find that really regulates DS1 who is very sensory seeking)

Jonny the hexagon song is from blippy, I knew that straight away

I am very excited for England v Italy on Sunday, might put one DC in an Italy top and one DC in an England top just to hedge my bets!

Thanks everyone, it's a school nursery so I think it's more formal than a stand alone. I don't think it's another kid being mean, he just struggles to control his emotions. Instead of crying when he's upset he gets angry. I do think when he's older he will be better it's just mix of having this and being a summer born.

We've had a good morning at home, been in the garden, drew some pictures and played with kinetic sand. We've got a stay and play session at school this afternoon to meet the reception teachers and my mum is watching DD

Stay and play was a success DS played nicely and warmed up to the teachers really well. One of them spent ages playing with DS. DS also played for ages with the boy who said he wasn't kind and I had a good chat with the mum so that was nice.
I'm going to be sun burnt though as the sun came out boiling hot and I didn't have suncream.

Hope everyone is having a nice afternoon

@motherofmonsters sorry things are tough at the moment. Hopefully school will be able to offer some strategies and resources to help make it less stressful for your DS. A friend's son has meltdowns and she says the school has been really helpful - they do things like give him cards to show how he feels and suggestions of things that might help (squishing playdough when angry for example). Good luck with the play and stay session.

@squishymamma glad you had some decent sleep. DS likes number games and sometimes gets the right answer but I suspect he's memorising rather than really getting it. Trying to work on pausing and thinking before answering but impulse to press something usually wins out!

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff how were they today?

Had few days of illness here - DD was pretty grizzly after her last set of jabs and DS had a cough and fever, so had the fun of taking him for a covid test (negative). He's not ill that often and seeing him not being his usual self made me appreciate his normal exuberance a bit more (at least for this morning). Saying yes to TV too much today, but starting to have some nice chats while I do things as his speech and language gets better. Although as he repeats what I say I've learnt I start too many sentences with 'shall we'. Also into the unintentionally cruel stage - we've been reading cave baby and he pointed to my forehead and said 'stripes on mummy'. Can I justify botox?!

@Camomila love the bet hedging! I'm going "out out" with some other Brits, will be nice to have some good British conversation and cheer them on together.

@Motherofmonsters glad to hear you had a good day and that the stay and play was a success. Sometimes I feel like kids' opinions change with the wind, was good to hear your DS and the other boy had a good time together.

@prettygirlincrimsonrose sorry to hear you've had illnesses, it is funny how it makes us appreciate the (at times tiring!) usual sparky personalities they have. Hope they feel better soon!

We had a long play outside and then both DS and I napped for almost 3 hours!! Crazy, obviously we both needed it. Then my friend came and we had a lovely catch up and cup of tea. Good day overall!

4.30am start today which is fun. Got a good day planned though, meeting a friend for a walk and coffee straight after I drop DS off then picking DS up to go PIL for lunch then park or beach if the weather is nice.

Shall we start a new thread? Anyone got a fun title name, I'm rubbish at thinking of them

Yes please to a new thread, anyone know how to do it?

We've just been pottering around. We've planted some tomatoes out of a kit which was fun. dS1 has also enjoyed doing this craft kit himself, it was only £2.99 from Amazon.

Seriously DS2 was up and down about 5 times last night and DS1 was up at 5.30 so feeling it today, eyes are shutting.

@Motherofmonsters, glad you had a good stay and play session, that's brilliant news.

@squishymamma, a 3 hour nap sounds like an excellent achievement!

@prettygirlincrimsonrose, hope your DC feel better soon. Your Botox thoughts made me smile, it reminded me of when DS1 tried to colour my grey roots with brown paint.

@Camomila, sounds like a good plan for the match!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4292353-Trapped-toddler-parents-Inspiration-and-support-needed-through-the-summer-hols?watched=1

New thread!