Do you stay with your children whilst they go to sleep?

[TrainTraining]

DS is 16 mo. He self settles really well. He cries a little bit going into bed but soon gets into position and goes to sleep and usually sleeps well for about 10/12 hours. I lie on his floor whilst he goes to sleep and then leave once he is. My partner never does bedtime and said if he did he wouldn't be staying in the room with DS he'd say goodnight and leave. He did this with his two older children. I don't like the idea of doing this but I wonder what is more usual, stay with them or leave them to it?

I did for a while, otherwise she would get very upset. Once she was a bit older and could understand (18 months ish) I would tell her mummy was going to go and have a cup of milk now before sleep time (she'd already had hers) and she would accept this and fall asleep on her own. She's 2.5 now and it's "Night night, love you" and she settles herself.

She still wakes once or twice every night without fail, but at least I have my evenings back. Happy not to be staying 30 mins every night as expecting no 2 so we'll be back to square 1 before long!

You do what feels right to you OP, you know your child

I don't have DC yet, but my parents never stayed with me.

It was bath, teeth, story and bed. I was allowed to read/look at books in bed and inevitably (according to my dad) fell asleep reading about 5-10 minutes after they said goodnight!

Don't follow my example OP. We did the disappearing chair technique and never disappeared .

Mr and DH do alternate nights of stories, hugs and then sitting in betwee their bedroom doors. We really like it, it's some quiet time reading on the kindle or watching our own thing on phone or tablet with headphones. We will probably carry on until the youngest tells us he's OK.

@TrainTraining

He knows it is time to sleep and I don't engage with him. I just stay there as I quite like the quiet and listening to his breathing change. Maybe I ought to start to do a retreat. I just feel guilty if I left him.

If you enjoy it, why stop?

Only stop if it becomes a problem for you/your family.

I also enjoy staying with DC as he goes to sleep, he’s in his own room now but I’m struggling to let go but I know it’s the kindest thing for DCs sake with another on the way. They’re just so tiny.

I stay with my son until hes asleep, we get in bed together and have some cuddles while he falls asleep. Sometimes he chooses to sleep on me, in which case we get a blanket out and he falls asleep on me on the sofa. He sometimes goes to sleep alone, when he does he rocks himself quite heavily.

My 4yo likes one of us to stay, but she falls asleep very quickly. Twin 2yos self settle and we just wait on the landing until they're asleep, they can see us but are reassured enough by knowing we can hear them.

No. I never did it. Personally I think it's best for them to learn to settle themselves. That way if they wake during the night at least they don't still expect you to be there. Why don't you like the idea of leaving him while he's falling asleep? It's no different to leaving him alone in his room for the night.

Nope, never have.

Story downstairs, take up, kiss, night night, bye.

Both are good sleepers (although DC2) wasn’t initially.

I don’t understand tbh why you would feel guilty?

God no never did this - think they need to learn how to fall asleep in a room on their own and staying makes in harder as they get a bit older. But each to their own and all that

@Mydogmylife I don't know. I guess because I worked so hard with him to get him to self settle it was a turbulent time for us and I had no support from my partner during this time. It took its toll on me.

To the pp who asked about second children and working full time. I can't see me having a second sadly as much as I would like that. I work condensed shifts so I have more time available than others. I'm fortunate but always a bit tired.

We stay with our 3 year old, she sleeps quite quickly and we love that special quiet moment before bed. Do what's best for your family either way.

Good god no. Story, kiss & cuddle then leave the room, they are asleep within minutes, have done it since they were 6 months old & will be doing it with my 3rd when they are 6 months old, I love my kids but evenings are my time.

If it works for you, why change it just because of what someone else thinks?

Me or my husband still sit with my middle child till she falls asleep, and she is 5. At her age its literally 5 minutes after we finish her bed time story and she's asleep. My older daughter is 7 and we leave her after her bed time story, she reads to herself and turns her light off at her bed time. I couldn't tell you when it happened that she was happy for us to leave her but probably around age 5 also.

Some people might think it's a bit ott but who is it harming? Do what you're comfortable with, not what you think other people expect you to do.

Nope. They’ve always self settled with no problems.

I want to know how to get away from DD (2.5) when I do bedtime! When it’s DH’s turn, she cries for me when I say goodnight when she’s in the bath, but then calms down and is fine for him and goes off to sleep by herself after he says goodnight.

When I do the routine, she gets upset and shouts unless I sit next to her while she plays with my hair. This is only since we took the sides off her cot bed recently- before that I used to have to cuddle her to sleep then put her down in cot.

I’m due number 2 in September so would really like to cut her hair obsession by then (she plays with it a lot during the day too and wants cuddles so she can reach it, and cries if I tie it up); also the required bedside position is getting increasingly uncomfortable with a bump!

Unfortunately DH can’t do bedtime every night as he works late 3 days a week.

I did this with my first and it stayed that way till he was 7. It was a nightmare I was losing my mind. I didn't do it with my 2nd and sure as he'll won't with my third.

I stayed holding my little boys hand until he fell asleep,that was until one night he told me I could go downstairs! He was about 2.5 at that point, now he gets into bed after stories and goes to sleep and I go downstairs (hes just turned 3)

Mine is 4 and I stay in bed with him till he falls asleep

Never ever. Cuddle, kiss, little snuggle put into bed awake. DS is 16months, asleep within 5mins and sleeps 11/12 hours.

No, never. We had a blankie though. If they had a blankie, they were happy and went off no problem. They were put in bed, a gentle pat or rub, said Na-Night & kissed. Off we went.

Blankie was just a muslin, never a specific thing. We had about 10 cloths they'd happily use, no searching or fretting about losing it.

Yep, they are 5 and 8, I don't really care to be honest. They'll be grown before I know it.

I don't, because I like to retreat upstairs to eat carbs and watch TV, but you do you. I don't think it's harmful or anything.

I cuddle in bed with my 4yo until he falls asleep, usually takes about 20 minutes. I quite enjoy it, it's nice to have the reconnecting 1-1 time, and I'm making the most of the age were he wants hugs. I also have a 18 month old, usually DH dose her bedtime at the same time (with me she'd just BF for hours) in the same way. Once I stop feeding I'll probably start doing her bedtime too, and just stager it.

I did. Because it worked for us and I don’t regret a moment of it. Childhood is fleeting and I treasure those times.

Let them get them self to sleep! imo.
My best friend used to sit with her boy and lightly pat is back until he fell asleep... She still has to do this now and he's 9!