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Original poster

Neighbour unhappy DD gave his DS a snack

555 replies

Eastie77 · 03/04/2021 13:12

I am really annoyed but know I may be over-reacting so need to be talked down.

DD was playing out with our neighbours DS, he is about 10. At one point she ran into the kitchen and quickly out again. It turns out she took a bag of crisps and shared them with him and other kids. She knows she is not allowed to do this but it all happened v quickly. Neighbour later sent me a message "just a quick one Eastie, DS is not allowed snacks between meals" and went on to say he hadn't eaten his lunch because of the crisps. I explained I understood although I hadn't given them to his DS. He responded by saying that's fine but can I keep an eye on things in future to ensure his DS doesn't eat anything when the DC are playing together.

I have always told DD not to give out any snacks to friends unless I have permission from their parents but neighbour's reply is really annoying me. It has a lecturing tone to it that doesn't sit well with me and I want to send back a smart response but not sure what to write...

OP posts:
Angrywife · 04/04/2021 18:40

I'd reply to say that I'll keep an eye my DC to make sure she's not doing anything I don't want her to do, maybe you could do the same for your DC

smilingontheinside · 04/04/2021 18:48

Darn if both my kids were skinny little things and could snack all day and still eat an adult sized meal. My dd is just over 5' tall as an adult and can out eat all of us. I think your dd sharing is lovely and if the other child is not supposed to "snack" then should have declined the kind offer as us old enough to know his own family rules. I would have to reply along the lines of my child gad been taught its polite to share. If your child is not supposed to eat between meals that is not her or my job to ensure he follows rules. When we used to pay in the street as kids we all used to "pool" any snacks and still eat all our meals😊

InFiveMins · 04/04/2021 18:50

'Can't police the snacking I'm afraid. I'm happy for my DC to share snacks - if you're not, you might want to have a word with your DC to make sure they don't take snacks from other children, or might want to supervise him when outside. Have a wonderful evening.'

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10 year olds Families
853ax · 04/04/2021 18:57

I think neighbor should be keeping eye on own child playing, not your place to check that his child eating. You child can eat outside if they want nice of them to share with others.

CirqueDeMorgue · 04/04/2021 19:06

Late to this one but agree with anyone who thinks it's his responsibility to supervise his child.

MNWorldisCrazy · 04/04/2021 19:07

@Eastie77 Did you text back??? Please send the suggested text above, advising him to supervise his child!!

nopuppiesallowed · 04/04/2021 19:10

JohnWaynesHorse
I'll just pop to the hardware shop and buy you a grip"

Made me snort into my wine!

Stolengoat · 04/04/2021 19:13

I've always taught my kids to share, the dad sounds batty and controlling.

MRSGGG · 04/04/2021 19:13

I agree with @UserTwice I mean no snacks at 10yo. Mine could eat a freight of snacks and still at an adult sized meal, at dinner and she is very slim. The onus should be on the child at this age! i am wondering how big this bag of crisps was....Plenty old enough to know better imo and I'd probably tell you kids to say "sorry you can't have any snacks as you got me in trouble with my mum last time!!" 😉

winnieanddaisy · 04/04/2021 19:17

I'm sure a ten year old knows that he is not allowed snacks between meals , it's up to his parents to make sure he refuses anything offered to him. Your daughter was being well mannered by offering to share her snack, he didn't have to accept.

Restlessinthenorth · 04/04/2021 19:19

This is one of the craziest things I've ever heard! That child can only be a year off high school and he's not allowed to share a few crisps with friends?! God help these parents going forward, and god help that child with learning to make appropriate decisions for himself, and in maintaining friendships.

The fact this parent thought that his text to you was in any way normal (and not HIGHLY embarrassing) shows how out of touch with reality this person is. My response would have been GrinGrinGrinGrin

Birthday552 · 04/04/2021 19:20

This kind of text is rude IMO OP and totally unnecessary. If this no snacking rule is so so important to the parent, why isn’t he talking to his child about it? It has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you or your child sharing crisps.

Birthday552 · 04/04/2021 19:21

@Restlessinthenorth

This is one of the craziest things I've ever heard! That child can only be a year off high school and he's not allowed to share a few crisps with friends?! God help these parents going forward, and god help that child with learning to make appropriate decisions for himself, and in maintaining friendships.

The fact this parent thought that his text to you was in any way normal (and not HIGHLY embarrassing) shows how out of touch with reality this person is. My response would have been GrinGrinGrinGrin

100% this.
earthyfire · 04/04/2021 19:22

I would have replied back with "your child was obviously hungry...feed him so my daughter doesn't feel obliged to share her snacks".

Restlessinthenorth · 04/04/2021 19:25

The more I read, the more bonkers this is! People would be "livid" of their child shared.....really? Oh would be livid if mine did.

I also find it quite unusual that children have to ask permission to take food. Unless there is a back story in terms of child over eating/being overweight, or the family being on a tough budget etc, I don't get it. Surely creates some very odd messages about what are essentially family resources?

Idontknowhowtodothis · 04/04/2021 19:26

Am I being really unreasonable in thinking that all OP's DD did was share her crisps?
I'd understand if she'd trotted out a fridge full of snacks and chocolates and Kid-Next-Door gorged himself silly, but its a few crisps.... hardly a lunch spoiler.
And do we really want to discourage our kids from sharing? How on earth is she wrong for sharing?!
I get that kids have allergies, but at ten, sure the Crisp Gobbler would be able to say "I can't have those" my niece can't have dairy, she's turned food down, she's five.

YA(abso-bloody-lutely)NBA. Go with "sorry, kids will be kids, I'll have a word." But to be fair, they need to have a word with their kid if the don't want him to eat between meals.

DishingOutDone · 04/04/2021 19:30

I think the most telling thing is that other posters on here think the neighbour was well within his rights.

tommyhoundmum · 04/04/2021 19:43

Middleparking
Yes I like your comment

winniestone37 · 04/04/2021 19:50

If you’re child doesn’t eat because they shared a small bag of crisps with other kids the crisps are not the problem. Whilst it’s absolutely fine for her to ask that her child isn’t given food it’s all in the delivery - she came across as a knob.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/04/2021 20:02

Was going to say this.

Happymum12345 · 04/04/2021 20:03

He needs to tell his ds NOT to eat food offered. The blame lies at his feet. However, it’s not worth falling out over and i would either reply with a laughing emoji or nothing at all.

Gilld69 · 04/04/2021 20:05

omg my kids used to feed the street , if they came in for snacks, tell him your not responsible for his child and to watch him himself, and maybe he should lighten up a little

Bodynegative · 04/04/2021 20:15

The boy is 10 not 3, he is at the age of criminal responsibility so should surely be able to say no to a proffered crisp. DD only needs a "word" because she disobeyed you.

Looubylou · 04/04/2021 20:24

Might sound ridiculous but remember the little boy who was starved to death - parents told school he must not be fed due to allergies, so he was starved even at school. Sounds like weirdly over controlling parent, which could be why child doesn't eat his meals. Would like to be a fly on the wall.

Bertiebiscuit · 04/04/2021 20:28

Maybe their child needs to be taught how to say no - I would be really cross if that were me - maybe they aren't giving him enough food if he is that desperate for snacks and a bag of crisps fills him up - I think social services should take a look - they are obviously panicked about this is a very suspicious way - he's not allergic to crisps for crying out loud - suspicious over reaction - maybe don't let your kid play with him for a while - all sounds very unhealthy

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