How do I ask my OH to pay me back?

[NeedATan]

I have been with my OH for two years. We live apart for a number of reasons and see each other at weekends and during holidays. We are happy together. A number of times we have borrowed cash off each other (between £20 and £100) to pay for unexpected stuff if we had no cash (or not enough cash) on ourselves. We have always paid each other back within a week or two. No issues whatsoever.

A month or so ago I ordered some boots he wanted to get for his brother for his birthday. He doesn't have an Amazon account so I offered to order them on his behalf (they cost around £150) and to have them sent directly to him, my OH. The boots arrived, his brother liked them, all good.

However my OH has since forgotten to pay me back - to be honest, until this morning I had forgotten all about the money myself. Because we only see each other at weekends, unless we remember then, another week will pass by before we can pay each other back. And the longer we forget, the less likely we'll remember. So how can I gently remind my OH about this money? Neither of us is hard up but £150 is still quite a bit of money for both of us so I'm keen not to 'write it off.' Any ideas? Thank you.

Why can't you just ask him?

Errr, just ask him? 'Can you pay me back the money for the boots?'

Just a simple, "Hey don't forget about the money for the boots" will do🤌🏻

Don't you text or speak during the week?

I can’t see the money for your brothers boots in my account. Did you transfer it?

'Hey, please could you transfer me back the £150 this evening xx'

Do neither of you have online banking? Just text or call and then he can do it straight away?

A breezy message - hey (name) I’ve been checking my bank and I realised you have forgotten to pay me back for the boots you wanted me to order from my Amazon a/c for (brother). Can you send the money over xx

How is this even an issue? Surely you’ve put more thought and energy into this post than just texting him about it?

Two things here stand out to me.

If he wants to buy stuff from Amazon, why not just set up an account? It takes 2 minutes, probably less time than it took him to ask you, tell you which boots it was he wanted, telling you his brothers address etc.

Secondly if you forget when you see him, why will it be a further week before he can pay you? Simple text :
Here are my bank details, please transfer the £150 you owe me for your brother's boots.

Thanks, NeedATan

Errrmmm ask him ?

He's maybe the first person I've heard of to not have an Amazon account! Why do you have to wait until the next week for payment? Surely he can just transfer it through?

Bright and breezy 'Hey, I've just realised that we didn't sort out the money for your brothers boots, please can you send it through?' surely he'll just reply 'oh yeah, forgot about that, I'll send it through now'

We have always paid each other back in cash, just like the 'loan' was in cash to start with.

Is it not horribly rude to ask your OH for money back outright?

you could get the big boys down the pub to sort it out or maybe you could take him on judge Judy .......or you could just ask him?

'Oi, dickhead, where's my £150?'

Or maybe next time we go to a cash point together I can remind him, if he hasn't paid me back yet.

No of course it's not rude, but it is rude to borrow something and not pay it back, it's not you, it's him!

Of course it's not rude!

Why are you so worried about asking him “gently”? I’d just keep it simple like others have suggested.

Text, phone, email. However you normally communicate. Remind him he owes you the money. Just like I’m about to remind my DH that he promised to wash out some buckets and forgot. “Hey honey, don’t forget you need to wash out those buckets before dd is due to do the next water change on the fish tank”.

We are adults. Communicate in a straightforward manner. Don’t wait until you are at the cash point.

@NeedATan

We have always paid each other back in cash, just like the 'loan' was in cash to start with.

Is it not horribly rude to ask your OH for money back outright?

Why is it rude? It's rude not to pay someone back. FFS.

Just use online banking and ask him to transfer?

Why is it always cash? That’s really weird - just ask him to bank transfer it?

Get the split wise app and you won’t ever forget again.

I wouldn’t lend money again either way. If you do t have the money for something wait until payday!

I would just text and say 'I forgot all about those boots for your brother - are you able to pay me back next weekend?'

This is completely normal, can't understand why you're worried about asking.