The ‘phenomenon’ of younger men approaching older women in the street. Is this an organised scam and what do they want?

[azar]

I am 47 years old, married with 4 DC. In recent weeks (this is on Fulham Road), I’ve been approached on two separate occasions by two men who are both maybe early 30s and both have the same kind of “patter” (if you can call it that). There was also another one this morning, who I didn’t engage with at all because I suspected the same thing. They ask you “Excuse me, do you live round here?” So you stop because you think they need directions, etc. At this point, they tell you they have just moved to the area from another (nearby) part of London and they ask you again if you are local. They are British with British accents. They say something about how they want to meet people and would you like to go for coffee / lunch with them there and then . They are reasonably good-looking men by average standards and would not strike you as odd if you walked past them in the street. A similar thing has also happened to a friend last week.

I’m sure this is some kind of scam, but I wonder what it is they actually want? Are they just trying to get a free lunch? Are they expecting you to take them to your home and then they will rob you or worse? (They are very interested in whether you are local). What do they actually think is going to happen and why would they think an older woman would be interested in someone their age?

Has anyone else experienced this?

Earphones OP. I wear them to avoid arseholes. I just breeze on past going about my day. Don't make eye contact. If you're worried about safety, then don't have anything on so you can hear. If this continues, I would report by dialling 101. There were some boys hanging around the street making comments, blocking my path etc When I saw them for the third time harassing people, especially women, I reported to the police.

Weird. This hasn't made it up to where I live yet. Surely no one would want to go for a coffee (even if it were possible) with a complete stranger they'd bumped into on the street?

It does sound very scammy, especially as there is nowhere to go for lunch or coffee.

I suppose they could be pick up artists. There are schools and meet ups for pick up techniques so they could be out practicing in a group. I'm middle aged and I had a guy in his twenties try to get my number in Waitrose while his dating coach was on the phone to him listening in They also go out with the coaches who video the conversation for analysis or even post it online.

I've had this (I'm just over the river from you )

My initial thought was that they were JWs or Mormons or some other religious 'mission' thing to be honest. Wanting to talk to me about their enduring love of Christ.

The ones I encountered had that shiny-eyed look of the Highly Fervent.

You've got me thinking now though.

I had this. In a town in the SE. Someone running up saying excuse me, I must stop you and tell you you’re beautiful. He was 10-15 years younger than me and good looking. It didn’t fit. I ignored him and drove off. I do wonder what the scam was though.

Could it also be they find out your home address whilst one of them is keeping you occupied and their mate(s) burgle your house?

Whatever it is, it's weird and also tone deaf, particularly at the moment when women's safety is very much in people's minds. I'd report it to the police.

I think you should report this to the police. Something not right here.

It'd be a swift 'fuck off' and a quick call to the police from me.

@orangenasturtium

It does sound very scammy, especially as there is nowhere to go for lunch or coffee.

I suppose they could be pick up artists. There are schools and meet ups for pick up techniques so they could be out practicing in a group. I'm middle aged and I had a guy in his twenties try to get my number in Waitrose while his dating coach was on the phone to him listening in They also go out with the coaches who video the conversation for analysis or even post it online.

That could be it. I once lived in an area where there was some sort of PUA guy who ran courses and they’d go out in groups to practice what they’d learned, seeing how many phone numbers they could get in one session. They’d sometimes have a mate filming at a distance and they’d post their successes on YouTube to advertise the courses.

I had some guy come up to me on the street once and flatter me about my supposedly beautiful eyes, who then tried to get me to sign up for a charity direct debit! He wasn’t wearing a hi-vis vest or anything so I couldn’t do the usual swerve walk. By the time I’d seen the clipboard he had started his patter. Agh.

Could be a scam, could be pick up artists practicing their lines with a mentor PUA hovering around in teh background

They do this kind of thing all the time, although I am surprised and concerned if it is happening now given the lockdown restrictions

If you work in a job dealing with sensitive / security issues it could be something moe concerning, but your employers would likely have warned you about this

They’re not trying to sell anything, no. First of all, you think they’re just going to ask for directions or something. But once they’ve stoppped you, they (both times) ask you if you are local and they say it’s a nice area and that they’ve just moved here too. So you’re like, “ok.” . Then they say something along the lines of “What are you doing now / do you need to be anywhere / do you want to grab a coffee / are you on your way home?” One of them (I’m embarrassed to say), I didn’t know how to get rid of him do I just said, “Sorry I have to get to work,” and then he started asking me what I do (I’d just made it up). He started walking with me. In the end, I just told him I really didn’t have time for this and I didn’t know what he wanted. But it’s just very odd and a new thing, I think.

I had this. In a town in the SE. Someone running up saying excuse me, I must stop you and tell you you’re beautiful. He was 10-15 years younger than me and good looking. It didn’t fit. I ignored him and drove off. I do wonder what the scam was though.

PUA

definitely

Id be wary too @azar

What's PUA?

Never heard of this, but I'm NW, perhaps you should just move, sounds like a right dodgy area.

PUA. They learn it and like to practise.
Happens a lot, and I'm way older than you.

My London Suspicion Filter is now so highly tuned that I'd deny living in the area even if the person asking had just knocked on my front door

I'd report to police because it sounds like some sort of scam. I wouldn't really care what they want. Just tell them to fuck off. Like the charity chuggers (is that what they're called) who ask you if you care about children. I just say no fuck off now. Bloody cheek. Coming up to someone minding their own business. Especially now.

Im actually listening to dr robert cialdini 7 factors of influence and this chapter is about con men and scammers. It sounds like they set out to make you feel indebted to them (even if its only flattery) then next will come a request for a favour.

Pick Up Artist, Maireas

@BIoodyStupidJohnson

My London Suspicion Filter is now so highly tuned that I'd deny living in the area even if the person asking had just knocked on my front door

Ha ha yes i used to live in london and im glad ive retained a bit of this radar

I once lived in an area where there was some sort of PUA guy who ran courses and they’d go out in groups to practice what they’d learned, seeing how many phone numbers they could get in one session. They’d sometimes have a mate filming at a distance and they’d post their successes on YouTube to advertise the courses

Seriously?

Men run courses teaching other men how to pick women up, and then they go out to harrass random women to practice what they've learned?

Words fail me.

@CounsellorTroi

Have you posted about this before? There is something fami,Ian about this.

This is really unfair to the OP, unless you have a link to the thread you're talking about.

@FGSWhatNow - thanks