If you're female and frequented rock clubs...

[whoami24601]

Can you help me? I have a theory...

With #toomanymen trending and everyone sharing stories I've been mulling over my own experiences of harassment. Whilst thinking about my time as a teenager I've realised that, although I mostly went to rock pubs and clubs, all of my bad experiences happened in 'normal' nightclubs.

I have long thought that the rock scene is much more relaxed, friendly and accepting than others, and I'd like to know if that is your experience as well? I'm interested if I'm the exception or the rule.

Thanks!

Yeah! Never groped at in a rock venue. Although that's not the scene for it. I think some gross men see nightclubs as meat markets and assume they can touch anyone there.

A guy I knew from rock venues assaulted several women I know once they were friends.

Agree with PP, started going out at 16 and never had any trouble in indie/rock places - also got saved from being trampled in the mosh pit several times.

(Aaah I miss gigs)

Always had a great time in rock clubs, and when my partner left me I used to go by myself. Never had any bother. This would have been late 80s and then into the 20s after I'd met my current partner. I seem to recall going to a rock night at the Floral Hall in Southport one year, when there was a ballroom dancing competition going on nearby, as a couple (in full ballroom gear) came down and joined us all. They had a great time, and were welcomed. I couldn't imagine anyone so different being in a mainstream club and not getting hassled

I agree with this totally.
Have been going to rock bars and gigs for over 30 years. Never Ever been touched griped or leered at by some twat. Feel totally comfortable in these places and reassured that no trouble will get in your face. Normal towny pubs etc always have creeps who think they're gods gift and think it's ok to touch you up.

I've always found the woman in these places aggressive and unfriendly too.
In a rock bar you just chat to the girls in the loos like you've known them for years.

Never had problems in years of rock bars and clubs nor on goth scene.

40somethingJBJ

A fellow Rockhouse goer 😉 That place went downhill once they tried to turn it into a dance/rave club.

Yes, that was my experience too. All the long-haired, tattooed and pierced 'weirdos' I was warned about turned out to be very nice young men. It was the Pringle jumper and sensible shoes brigade you had to watch out for.

Never ever ever had an issue at a rock club/gig or similar. ALWAYS the mainstream bars and clubs that were the issue. And to echo everyone else, I miss gigs too...

I would love to agree but when I was 17 I briefly had a job collecting glasses at a rock club during gigs - I was putting the glasses away one night when a pissed-up guy in his twenties did a skidaddle jump in the air and thought it would be hilarious to flop his willy on the bar as he did so - I was horrified and my middle aged female colleague threatened to, ‘bite it off’ - suffice to say, I was a full blown raver in the late 80s/early 90s and I experienced harassment more frequently at raves, festivals and dance clubs - my God I saw and experienced many things - it is actually great being 50 in some ways but now I have to watch my beautiful DDs 14 & 18 tolerate male entitlement & muppetry ...

Rock City is still an awesome venue and still does a cool rock night!

Just to add - Rock City is on my to visit before I die list! Anyone here from Rios?

That is definitely my experience too. I never experienced a single incident at the music venue I went to. The men were generally more gentle and kind and everyone looked out for each other

So true and not something I've ever thought about before. My only experience of clubbing was the 90's goth scene and looking back there was a very caring, friendly vibe everywhere I went. I'd regularly go to my local club on my own if my friend backed out and I'd always get asked by people (not always girls) if I wanted to join them and there was never any issue, just lots of shouty discussions about the clothes, make up tips and music.
Such a lovely contrast to any pub nights with non-goth friends and the lads calling you a lesbian if you told them to fuck off after they'd had a grope.

I've never thought about it before but yes this was definately my experience. I was never groaped in a rock club, it was a regular occurrence at mainstream clubs and even on the streets outside on one occasion. I met my now DH at a rock club

I completely agree with this. I have had many incidents of sexual harassment, but never in the rock clubs and pubs I would go to. Same with gigs.

Interesting, actually.

I miss Rock City - haven't had a night out in Nottingham for decades (!) Really need to fix that since we can afford taxis and don't have to worry about the night bus not turning up.

I agree but my experiences were 25 years ago and things may have changed.

I just relied to another thread saying I'd never been harassed (thread asking if any women had never been harassed).

This could be a large contributing factor as I frequented rock clubs rather than normal clubs so interesting theory.

Completely agree.

I once fell very pissed into a bloke in a rock club and spilt half of my drink down him-he apologised to me!!

Certainly most of the time I had any dodgy man experiences it was in 'ritzy' type mainstream clubs, though I can think one of dubious encounter in a Goth club, though TBF he didn't try stop me walking away when I felt it was going further than I wanted. But yes, indie clubs, raves and goth nights, no problems - however I definitely know women who have had bad experiences in those scenes too.

@StellaAndCrow Yes!!! And the Mayfair and the Percy

Agree I was never given any bother on the alternative scene. All of my bad experiences were in mainstream bars/clubs and on the street.

I 100% agree with this. Never once been groped at a gig or in a rock club - bumped into, brushed past with sweaty bodies etc, yes.

Been groped in a 'normal' club many times.

I actually knew some Hells Angels and some Outlaws (never in the same place though, that would have been carnage) and they were all grope free and lovely!

Yes, I'm 45 and went to rock and indie clubs all through the 90s - never got any hassle. Used to get hassled in the taxi queue by townies though, my large boobs were the object of much attention there 🙄

Definitely agree with this. We used to always go to rock clubs and pubs, and never any hassle. Ironically, my mother was horrified that I went to places like that, but I was never sexually harassed and assaulted in those places. The same cannot be said of the "normal" clubs I rarely went to.
I'm relieved that my daughter is in to the metal scene, and from what she's said it's the same these days.