Why am I obese?

[aapple]

Obviously, I eat more calories than I burn off. My BMI is 32. But why, what can I change?

I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before. It never sticks, and I want to make permanent lifestyle changes this time. I don't care if it takes years to reach a healthy weight, but I'd prefer if it didn't take decades.

I'm not looking to do anything that I wouldn't want the whole family doing. So no cutting out entire food groups, or fasting etc. I don't want to teach my kids those habits.

I live somewhere with little to no 'temptations' from shops and takeaways. I get my shopping delivered, pay for petrol at the pump and rarely go past any other shops. So I'm not sure it is the food environment. My weekly shopping list is all fruit, vegetables, dairy, bread, fish. A little jam, peanut butter and chocolate. Reasonably healthy I think.

I get some exercise, not a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, so rarely actually sit down between 5am and 9pm. I go for walks, at small person pace. I clean and garden. I do mum and baby pilates, and go for short runs at the weekend. I don't know where I would squeeze more exercise in really.

95% of what we eat is cooked from scratch, using whole foods. We don't have desserts often. I never drink alcohol, juice, squash. Just water and tea (no milk or sugar), maybe a coke with a meal out.

I only eat at the table, although days are hectic, so it is not always 3 meals a day. Sometimes there just isn't time for me to eat at mealtime if the kids are having a bad day. I've bought the "right" sized plates etc, to make sure I'm not having huge portions.

I guess I just eat too much. Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up.

I do usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed. But I'm still breastfeeding my toddler through the night. I can get to sleep the first few times, but without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep after the 3am feed.

Sorry, that's a bit long. Just musing really. Any constructive thoughts appreciated.

OP knows how to lose weight and has successfully lost weight inthe past I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before

So it's not a conundrum why she's overweight/how to lose weight. She knows how to lose weight.

She's saying she doesn't want to lose weight this way again because it doesn't stick and instead she wants to make healthy lifestyle changes and hope whatever that means will result in her losing weight, without calorie counting.

However it won't because her family don't need to lose weight and she does. So unless she puts the whole family on a diet, she's always going to have to restrict herself compared to them. No reason though why she can't do that and the rest of the family rest more healthily too.

Then once she's lost the weight she can join them on their healthy eating maintenance diet.

It seems relatively straightforward to me? 🤷‍♀️ you don't drop stones in weight by eating the same as your family who don't need to lose? What am I missing??

I cut out most of my carbs, including bread - it's good when you cut out bread because with it goes the temptation to eat butter, marg, jam, cheese or whatever else people eat with bread.

How did I do it? Expensive, high protien meal replacement soup from Amazon for lunch. I cut my portion sizes of cereal and any carbs in my evening meal to minimal. I upped my veg and protien.

I would love to tell you that I lost loads of weight, but I didn't. I have maintained my weight though- and have less headaches because my blood sugar is more stable without the insulin surges. I am still battling the weight and while committed to exercise every day (cardio) I have not seen wondrous results yet.

Its all to do with eating too much of the wrong foods.
There is one simple rule. Eat less heavily processed foods.
That’s it!
So less processed sugar, less bread, less things with wheat.
The main culprits are sugar and processed carbs as many have said on here.
You don’t need to cut them totally out. But you need to be mindful of everything you are eating.
Cakes, bread and bread products, pasta, processed sweet stuff should be eaten is strict moderation. No big platefuls of pasta or no pasta at all! Cake should be a treat once a week or similar.
Just cut right down on any heavily processed foods and the weight falls off. If you do manage to cut out processed sugar eventually it’s really amazing how much weight very quickly comes off.
Kids can eat a little more usually if they are very active but you still have to be mindful of how restricting processed stuff.

Agree with most of the advice - two extra things though. Your kids won't notice what's on your plate unless they've got a full roast and you're eating cottage cheese on a ryvita. If they do notice, explain you need to eat a bit differently now. Second thing - could you do a joe wicks HIIT workout or similar when they're in bed, instead of the toast? Then a better snack (frozen berries and Greek yoghurt?) if required. That snack is a habit as much as anything else.

Side question:

If refined carbs are now agreed* to be bad, why do I so often see people saying that they're cutting them out, but still letting their children have them? Surely the habits of eating sugar and carbs are formed in childhood, so why is it okay for kids to have cereals, bread etc all the time?

Caveat: I am not a parent, so I'm one to talk...

*not universally, I know, but I do think the insulin / blood sugar issue is the major cause of rising levels of obesity

I would try to get my gut biome analysed if I were you OP, just to see if I had any issues with my gut bacteria, or food allergies.
There might be something there that would answer the questions.

Stop obsessing about calories and carbs is my advice and start eating more lean protein and vegetables. This will fill you up and the cravings for everything else won't be there. Stop going on diets because they are not sustainable and are not doing anything for you!

I see from your OP that you have ruled out fasting but doing 16:8 is a perfectly normal way to eat. If your family are healthy weights then they don’t need to do it. Just eat 3 meals per day within an 8 hour window & don’t snack between meals. Try to eat healthily, it works.

Your diet sounds fine to me, and similar to mine.

Maybe you need to build muscle. I do weights regularly since my late 30s, stops me going to mush and seems to help me burn through calories without weight gain. It's also good for combatting the effects of menopause.

@fromdownwest

A caloire from Carbs is the same as a calorie from protein.

The bad bad Carbs mindset is very old school.

If you want to lose weight it is simple.

Eat a balanced diet of carbs, proteins and fats with a calorific number beloe your daily expelled calories.

I know I will get shot down for such views, but that is the only way you will lose weight - a calorific deficit.

How you acheive the deficit is up to you - fasting, smaller portions, less high calorie foods, more veg

But it’s not as simple as that because of how carbs raise insulin levels and that stores fat. Lean protein doesn’t.

@fromdownwest - can you explain the different effects that carbs, fats and protein have on insulin production? Can you also explain the role of insulin in putting on and losing weight? Thanks

Small portions, little bread, no crisps sweets biscuits. V small amounts of peanut butter. Loads of fruit veg and things like rice cakes. You need to cut down. I recommend allowing yourself one day at the weekend for treats and to eat anything you like. That way you aren't telling yourself you can't have certain things. Strict calorie control. And get some weighing scales and weigh yourself in the morning the day after treat day, it will deter you from going bonkers. Keeping the weight off is up to how much you love being healthy, active, slim, having lots of choice in what you can wear, feeling good about yourself. You will get more and more used to the new ways and your body will want less and less crappy stuff as time goes on. I'm 2 years in from losing 4.5 stone. I maintain my weight by weighing myself every single day. It works for me.

I'd have written the same post as you, OP.

I'm currently finding that bread is the culprit. All those years of worrying about all carbs- potato, rice, pasta, bread- and bread seems to have been the bad guy all along. Possibly pasta- I haven't had much anyway- but I'm eating more potatoes and rice than I ever have and still losing weight.

Don't focus on the removing @aapple but think about adding. New non starchy vegetables, more variety and diversity. Try 2 new ones every weeks. Veggies you don't usually buy or have never tried. Or new way of eating vegetables, try to reach 20 different vegetable in a week (it is 3 per day) .
Cooking from scratch isn't synonym for healthy. I can make dishes that are loaded with cheeses, meat that are a heart attack on plate.

Don't remove macro, add fibre. Ignore the advice of whoever gains money from their view, so most instagram influencers, and ever the beloved Jason Fung whor twists the little/poor/old science he cites (if anyone cares to verify his claims) and can I add that the population the no-carb fanatics cites as example of health, have a very short lifespan, dying in their 60s vs normal eating 80 and the carb-rich blue zone in 90-100.

Toast is wrong as snacks and I would add an adult woman doesn't need snack, and why would you eat a toast with jam after dinner?

The human body is resistant to losing weight, so you have to make sacrifice. Anyone trying to lose weight will struggle to do so by eating a potato with butter on top followed toast with jam later in the day day. You shouldn't eliminate a group, but watching the amount rice and bread and pasta even wholemeal unprocessed and unrefined - and all the white stuff should go - is part of the game.

Calories are important, but calories from vegetables will benefit your gut and in the long run help you not only lose but also maintain the weightloss.

Your diet and lifestyle sounds fine. The problem is once you put weight on, it's so hard to get it off, especially if you are short. You might have had a period of overeating in the past that put your weight up and now it's an uphill battle. Keep trying, I'm in the same boat. It's tedious.

Hormones.
Try improving your microbiome
Also breastfeeding made me gain two stone. Dropped off when I stopped.
Also check iron levels etc, I was eating to stave off tiredness

I often forget meals these days and naturally go long periods between meals, my addiction has lessened as I've stayed slim. It's to do with having less of something fat cells produce,that apparently makes you hungry. I can't remember the name, possibly leptin? It's certainly true that when I start gaining weight I reach a point beyond which I want more and more food

@YesItsAPeacock

Side question:

If refined carbs are now agreed* to be bad, why do I so often see people saying that they're cutting them out, but still letting their children have them? Surely the habits of eating sugar and carbs are formed in childhood, so why is it okay for kids to have cereals, bread etc all the time?

Caveat: I am not a parent, so I'm one to talk...

*not universally, I know, but I do think the insulin / blood sugar issue is the major cause of rising levels of obesity

Because cutting them out yourself when they are everywhere around you daily and you lead a very busy life is hard enough (and expensive enough because you need to sub the carbs for other filling things, usually high protein foods) Kids in general hate veg. Kids taste buds are much much stronger than an adults so everything tastes different. Veg has a much stronger taste. It’s bloody murder for many parents to even get their kids to eat one small portion of veg at meal times let alone whole meals of different sorts! It’s not like there is nothing else to eat and kids have never had carbs. They have them other places (nursery, school, grandparents, friends) All you can do is cook as healthily as you can (with the time you actually have to cook, which at the moment isn’t much with working around home learning) and actually hope they eat a few forkfuls! Once you have kids, you realise that you can’t actually force a kid to eat what you want, and you would never let your child go hungry

"When the body is functioning properly, excess fat cells will produce leptin, which will trigger the hypothalamus to lower the appetite, allowing the body to dip into the fat stores to feed itself. Unfortunately, when someone is obese, that individual will have too much leptin in the blood. This can cause a lack of sensitivity to the hormone, a condition known as leptin resistance. Because the individual keeps eating, the fat cells produce more leptin to signal the feeling of satiety, leading to increased leptin levels"

I know somebody who was obese. I’ve posted about her on here before. She is now a healthy size 14. The only changes she made were:

1. Giving up carbs completely.
2. Power walking on the treadmill 30 mins per day.

Everything else stayed the same. She had a few drinks at the weekend, she ate what she wanted (apart from carbs) and it worked for her. She lost loads of weight and has never looked back.

I found my fit bit to be best. I do track with MFP but i upped my steps to 15k. Every dsy 15k minimum. Walking on spot when kettle boiling. Pacing the rooms when kids in bed. Dont fixiate on food. Up your steps. Some great walking videos on youtube. 30 min video gets me about 3k steps. Kids join in lol

I bet it’s portion control. I’ve actually been underweight for much of my life and have tried to find the solution. I always think I eat a lot but when I analyse it my portions are a lot smaller than other peoples. I eat little and often so I feel like I do nothing but eat but it’s actually not a great deal of food. Not sure if that’s helpful but might be worth trying to eat 4 or 5 small meals rather than 3 big ones.

One lb in weight is equivalent to 3500 calories

This is not true, and nobody knows where is came from. Calories are a measure of energy, not mass or fat or weight.

Brilliant lecture here, if you've got 40 mins to give to your weight loss journey that will save you masses of effort over years.

You’re probably right about portion size. I banged on a load of weight by ess as ting too much of the reasonably healthy from scratch food I cooked.

Weighing every portion was the answer.

I’m making progress skipping breakfast then having small late lunch and normal dinner plus zero snacks. I also take apple cider vinegar tabs. I’m losing about 0.6 kg per week and honestly feel fine on it.