Why am I obese?

[aapple]

Obviously, I eat more calories than I burn off. My BMI is 32. But why, what can I change?

I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before. It never sticks, and I want to make permanent lifestyle changes this time. I don't care if it takes years to reach a healthy weight, but I'd prefer if it didn't take decades.

I'm not looking to do anything that I wouldn't want the whole family doing. So no cutting out entire food groups, or fasting etc. I don't want to teach my kids those habits.

I live somewhere with little to no 'temptations' from shops and takeaways. I get my shopping delivered, pay for petrol at the pump and rarely go past any other shops. So I'm not sure it is the food environment. My weekly shopping list is all fruit, vegetables, dairy, bread, fish. A little jam, peanut butter and chocolate. Reasonably healthy I think.

I get some exercise, not a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, so rarely actually sit down between 5am and 9pm. I go for walks, at small person pace. I clean and garden. I do mum and baby pilates, and go for short runs at the weekend. I don't know where I would squeeze more exercise in really.

95% of what we eat is cooked from scratch, using whole foods. We don't have desserts often. I never drink alcohol, juice, squash. Just water and tea (no milk or sugar), maybe a coke with a meal out.

I only eat at the table, although days are hectic, so it is not always 3 meals a day. Sometimes there just isn't time for me to eat at mealtime if the kids are having a bad day. I've bought the "right" sized plates etc, to make sure I'm not having huge portions.

I guess I just eat too much. Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up.

I do usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed. But I'm still breastfeeding my toddler through the night. I can get to sleep the first few times, but without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep after the 3am feed.

Sorry, that's a bit long. Just musing really. Any constructive thoughts appreciated.

One huge factor for me
Ahead of food, exercise etc
Was my head
I had to be in the right place mentally to take the steps I needed to lose weight
All ye low carbing and HIIT classes in the world won't be worth anything if mentally you aren't kind to yourself and actually like yourself no matter what
I almost had to realise that I was a good nice person and that being healthy and looking after myself and making me a priority was ok
And then I changed my lifestyle and have stuck to it for nearly five years
Sorry to sound like some hippy

Other thoughts to add - (in case OP interested!)

1. Both work FT and have a 5 year old DS who’s been an home creating havoc and also a 1 year old who was born at start of the pandemic. Chaos all around - so ........

1. I never eat whilst they are eating as it’s too chaotic. We sit with them when they eat but our meals are separately timed. This prevents absent minded eating and meal times are just for spouse and me.

1. Never eat with a screen in front of me. We sit down to eat a late dinner about 8/830 at the table. No screens. This inevitably leads to no late snacks needed.

1. I chew each mouthful about 20-25 times by habit whilst eating at table. This leads to food left on plate much of the time.

1. I don’t calorie count or leave out any food groups. I make meal times a pleasure, and something I look forward to and I eat stuff i really fancy. I discovered that by separating adult meals from very small kids meals we get to approach our meals like adults and do gourmet stuff and end up snacking and stuffing faces less.

The no screens if I’m eating also makes massive difference.

@BrideofBideford Low carving is nothing to do with being sedentary. If you are insulin resistant/T2D your body produces too much insulin and every time you have carbs, especially white carbs, your body will produce more insulin in a bid to process those carbs. What it can't process, it stores it as a fat, mostly in your middle. You can spend all the daylight hours in the gym but won't lose much if your body produces too much insulin in reaction to the carb loaded diet.

@Navigationcentral Late dinner can be double edged sword. In your case it prevents late evening snacking but if your dinner is rich in protein and good fats, it will keep you full for longer without the hunger spikes that usually follow a carb heavy meal. We usually finish our dinner by 7pm and don't have any need for snacks later in the evening. In fact, I won't eat again until at about 12pm the next day.

Insulin resistance and T2D is increasingly common now but of course there are lots of people who have no problem of digesting what ever they throw at their bodies. It is just frustrating to keep reading about you shouldn't cut any food group out or that low carbing/keto is a faddy diet. There is a real science behind why reducing carbs, even if it includes the humble, seemingly innocent potato can be very beneficial to one's health.

I really recommend reading the Obesity Code by Jason Fung or watching Fat Fiction on Amazon Prime.

@BrideofBideford, have to disagree regarding low carb and a sedentary lifestyle.

I'm insulin resistant which means my body cannot process carbs correctly, the joy of PCOS. This is potentially reversible by reducing my BMI back to within the healthy range. But my endocrinologist has let me know I'll never be able to eat as many carbs as someone without PCOS/a history of insulin resistance.

I'm not what I'ld call sedentary; spend 60-90 minutes in the gym everyday (HIT classes, spin classes, weights) and a 45 minute walk each morning. Low carb can still work, it's all about ensuring protein consumption is high.

@aapple im T2 and i eat a different meal to my kids.
I have a portion plate and i used to be like you.
I didnt eat anything all day,but ate at night.

Im not a carb lover so i dont miss bread or rice.But the thing that got me is carbs are in everything.They get everywhere.

Today i had
Breakfast 2 weetabix,almond milk

Lunch Tuna salad

Dinner chilli chicken with braised fennel

Snack [more like a dessert]

Tiny bowl of greek yogurt and some frozen cherries.

I did go through a couple of days of wanting to run to the chinese and order everything.But i resisted.

Oh and something just clicked in my head.
Unless that happens nothing will change.You will just make excuses,you have to want it more than anything.

@BorderlineHappy Surprised you can tolerate weetabix!

@henwoulditkickin i actually really like them now.

My mum bakes her own bread and has gained a lot of weight in the last few years. My partner and I never have bread at home unless I am lured by the look of a sourdough load at a bakery and buy on a whim. We don’t even own a toaster! The other one is cereal or granola - it’s as bad as sweets! Can’t believe it’s been marketed as a healthy breakfast option! A healthy breakfast should be eggs w avocado (and sweet potato if you need a carb), or home made porridge with berries for interest.

You don’t need chocolate, jam, butter or peanut butter in your diet.

No you don't need it. But if you eat in moderation, l like everything else, then it can be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet. As I said further upthread I maintain a healthy weight via intermittent fasting and no snacking. But if we go out for breakfast one weekend, or it's a special occasion you can sure as hell find me eating a massive croissant with jam or a bit of chocolate cake. I just don't do so routinely.

Being a healthy weight doesn't require a totally miserable life.

I'm another one who hardly ever buys bread and hardly ever eats pasta or rice. To be honest these things are too much for me routinely. But I will enjoy them sometimes very very much.

I do have rice cakes and Ryvita in my bread bin in case I need a quick carb fix.

I do have really good quality nut butters in the cupboard but eat them sparingly. Ditto nuts. I rarely have biscuits chocolate or sweets in the house but do but these things when I fancy a treat.

@aapple how is your mental health?

‘Low carbing is probably good if you’re more sedentary’ I don’t understand this @BrideofBideford?

Low carving is nothing to do with being sedentary. If you are insulin resistant/T2D your body produces too much insulin and every time you have carbs, especially white carbs, your body will produce more insulin in a bid to process those carbs. What it can't process, it stores it as a fat, mostly in your middle. You can spend all the daylight hours in the gym but won't lose much if your body produces too much insulin in reaction to the carb loaded diet.

Exercise will improve insulin sensitivity though - exercise/ being active can really change how your body deals with carbs.

I have type 1 diabetes and when active have to reduce my insulin accordingly when I eat carbs.

Although mind you, I'm talking more about for example the 22g of carbs in my slice of sourdough I ate with eggs this morning. Not a big bowl of porridge with a banana, or something. So not an overwhelming amount.

But in terms of small quantities of carbs, exercise absolutely can help with maintaining good insulin sensitivity.

@AbsentmindedWoman Interesting that you used porridge & banana as an example.

I had “suspected borderline gestational diabetes” simply based off 3 home reads of 7.8, 7.9 & 9.4 at one hour after 100g + carb takeaways - everything I’ve read since suggests non diabetics would see those numbers after that kind of meal!

But I digress. My usual breakfast was porridge and banana which took me to 7.6, the diabetic team would always stare at my booklet in shock as they expected my numbers to be much higher with that food. Apparently it’s explosive for diabetics.