Why am I obese?

[aapple]

Obviously, I eat more calories than I burn off. My BMI is 32. But why, what can I change?

I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before. It never sticks, and I want to make permanent lifestyle changes this time. I don't care if it takes years to reach a healthy weight, but I'd prefer if it didn't take decades.

I'm not looking to do anything that I wouldn't want the whole family doing. So no cutting out entire food groups, or fasting etc. I don't want to teach my kids those habits.

I live somewhere with little to no 'temptations' from shops and takeaways. I get my shopping delivered, pay for petrol at the pump and rarely go past any other shops. So I'm not sure it is the food environment. My weekly shopping list is all fruit, vegetables, dairy, bread, fish. A little jam, peanut butter and chocolate. Reasonably healthy I think.

I get some exercise, not a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, so rarely actually sit down between 5am and 9pm. I go for walks, at small person pace. I clean and garden. I do mum and baby pilates, and go for short runs at the weekend. I don't know where I would squeeze more exercise in really.

95% of what we eat is cooked from scratch, using whole foods. We don't have desserts often. I never drink alcohol, juice, squash. Just water and tea (no milk or sugar), maybe a coke with a meal out.

I only eat at the table, although days are hectic, so it is not always 3 meals a day. Sometimes there just isn't time for me to eat at mealtime if the kids are having a bad day. I've bought the "right" sized plates etc, to make sure I'm not having huge portions.

I guess I just eat too much. Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up.

I do usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed. But I'm still breastfeeding my toddler through the night. I can get to sleep the first few times, but without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep after the 3am feed.

Sorry, that's a bit long. Just musing really. Any constructive thoughts appreciated.

Absolutely! I am the weight I want to be and still enjoy wine chocolate cake and fudge! Just not every day or in vast quantities and do exercise.

I agree with @Fluffycloudland77

People need to have a little wake up call - even if they don't want to hear it.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/risk/overweight-and-obesity

Being overweight is not healthy.

That last post was not directed at the OP - but at the previous posters of page 15 who were making fun of fluffycloudland77 who had made a very valid point.

[quote aapple]@AtleastitsnotMonday yesterday was:

Breakfast: cup of green tea

Snack: mushrooms and tomatoes on toast

Lunch: half a leftover jacket potato with butter, tuna and salad.

Dinner: vegetable chilli with rice

Once kids asleep: rooibos tea and toast with jam or (sugar free) peanut butter.

A couple of squares of dark chocolate at some point too.

===================

I never use extra sauces/condiments.

I have done my fitness Pal for years. It works for a while, but not permanently. It just makes me obsess over food and not eating it 24/7. I truly can't keep it up. I don't want to live my life thinking about food that much.

I am thinking very carefully about what example I set my children. I'm very aware that watching mum diet and cut out foods while emotionally eating is probably a root cause of my own issues. Really, I think I'm setting them a good example. Honestly, we eat mostly whole foods, cook together, eat age appropriate portion sizes, they don't have to clear their plates, they eat what we eat, we have treats, and homemade desserts, but not too many. I never make a big deal of them eating what their friends do when they are out, but at home it's pretty healthy. We exercise as I family, we've even moved house to be somewhere so that they can get about by walking and bike as they grow up.

Maybe it's just portion sizes and the tea and toast after bedtime. That's the only time I eat something I wouldn't want them to.

Maybe I just need to be hungry. But God it's hard to be a stay at home parent and be hungry.[/quote]
Doesn’t seem much for a busy mum
If you’re that hungry at night maybe eat more at breakfast
Just a suggestion I don’t have it cracked yet either.

Oh, I do eat carbs but no gluten or lactose

I attended a professional nutritionist group during my last pregnancy and they suggest snacking on protein. So trade your jam for peanut butter perhaps

I haven’t read all the comments but it does sound like you’re very healthy. Sounds similar to me and I’m not overweight , so much down to genetics from my mom.
I agree that stripping out or very much reducing carbs would be the first thing . And it wouldn’t be setting a bad example - the Kids can just have the rice /potatoes /pasta and you increase the veg that you’re having for yours. My dad has lost two stone by doing this - he still has carbs but just much much less. The hairy bikers and Tom Kerridge have great cookbooks. Also joe wicks has an app now which is very good and not restrictive (but recipes defo have less carbs than his books I think).
Also being a stay at home parent is very hard - even without the waking at night and breastfeeding so I commend you for having the faculties to come on here and post for help!

[quote aapple]@AtleastitsnotMonday yesterday was:

Breakfast: cup of green tea

Snack: mushrooms and tomatoes on toast

Lunch: half a leftover jacket potato with butter, tuna and salad.

Dinner: vegetable chilli with rice

Once kids asleep: rooibos tea and toast with jam or (sugar free) peanut butter.

A couple of squares of dark chocolate at some point too.

===================

I never use extra sauces/condiments.

I have done my fitness Pal for years. It works for a while, but not permanently. It just makes me obsess over food and not eating it 24/7. I truly can't keep it up. I don't want to live my life thinking about food that much.

I am thinking very carefully about what example I set my children. I'm very aware that watching mum diet and cut out foods while emotionally eating is probably a root cause of my own issues. Really, I think I'm setting them a good example. Honestly, we eat mostly whole foods, cook together, eat age appropriate portion sizes, they don't have to clear their plates, they eat what we eat, we have treats, and homemade desserts, but not too many. I never make a big deal of them eating what their friends do when they are out, but at home it's pretty healthy. We exercise as I family, we've even moved house to be somewhere so that they can get about by walking and bike as they grow up.

Maybe it's just portion sizes and the tea and toast after bedtime. That's the only time I eat something I wouldn't want them to.

Maybe I just need to be hungry. But God it's hard to be a stay at home parent and be hungry.[/quote]
I agree re strict calorie counting on an app. I've done it several times and it works but it really is not for me long term . At the moment however I am using an A4 white board to write down very roughly the number of calories I eat every time I eat something. It just keeps me mindful of what I am eating
Each day I rub it out and start again the next .

On a separate sheet I keep a tally of how many days that week I have kept under 2,000 calories ( I am very overweight)
It is just in the kitchen so easy to update but the key thing is I only roughly estimate it and I start again each day .

I have been doing thiis 3 weeks and my clothes are a bit looser already. I have used intermittent fasting in the past for about a year and still do occasionally but I used it to maintain a weight loss as it doesn't help me actually lose much weight to fast.

I maintained an 18kg weight loss for almost 2 years using intermittent fasting but recently it all went to pot and my binge eating kicked in October of last year . It took me about 4 months but I have stopped that now and am roughly calorie counting until I lose a bit more then might start regularly intermittent fasting again. I know my BMI will never be under 30 though and that is fine as long as it is not over 40 again as it was a few years ago . My modest aim is to keep my BMI at between 30 and 35.

To me that is success

@Neonlightning I don’t have PCOS but for the last five years I’ve had a chronic rhinisitis. It came from nowhere, seemingly unexplained what caused it and to avoid violent sneezing episodes and a constant runny nose, I had to take an antihistamine daily. Year in year out, seasons didn’t make any difference, nor did travelling to other countries for example. But since dropping processed sugar I’ve realised it has improved a lot. I still have to take antihistamine but only every fourth day or so. It’s a huge improvement to my quality of life.

So do people do the 5:2 and the 16:8 together then?

[quote namechange2547]@Fluffycloudland77 I'm sorry but that is fucking miserable and not realistic for normal warm blooded people. I am very slim, I am very fit and healthy, I've never been overweight and still wear jeans I had before my first child was born 11 years ago, but I enjoy chocolate, and a few drinks, and bread, it doesn't "harm" me because that's not all I eat.

My grandmother never drank, was the pinnacle of health, didn't indulge in anything beyond a "taste" and spent the last 10 years of her life paralysed with speech and mobility issues in and out of hospital, she had several strokes and withstood them for so long due to how healthy she was but I can tell you now I'd have chosen the quick deaths my other less healthy grandparents had.

You can eat healthily and still eat some "unhealthy" foods, something is only unhealthy if you eat it too much, just as eating one floret of broccoli doesn't suddenly make you Gillian McKeith, eating chocolate occasionally, or toast for breakfast isn't going to induce diabetes but it might make you enjoy life a bit more! Your attitude is pious and will not help someone who is overweight.
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I can see what you are saying, but you are assuming that everyone is blessed with such a good metabolism as you. Unfortunately if someone has been very overweight for years then they are likely to be suffering from (life-style induced) insulin resistance and will probably never be able to go back to a care-free way of eating once they have lost weight - for some people there does need to be a complete eating and life-style over haul.

I think you are under-estimating the addictive nature of sugary foods for some people - I doubt people who are many stones overweight are able for whatever reasons to to be so moderate in their diets as you are, and I don't think being realistic about different peoples body-types/metabolism is being particularly pious.

Carbs and sugar are also poison to me. I went low carb over lockdown (instead of Keto) and put on 5 lbs. I’m Day 2 of Keto again and I’m already 2lb down and can do up the waist bands of my trousers. Thank fuck for Keto.

@Fluffycloudland77 Thanks for the tip I’ve never heard of the soya isoflavones, just looked them up!

Right now I feel pretty good though but good to know for future reference.

I reached a BMI of 40 before I realised I had to do something. I’ve since lost 45lbs in 5 months by cutting out most carbs, intermittent fasting and watching my calories intake.

I know you said that avoiding your potato might give a messed up message, but looking back with my new perspective, I think my previous reliance on bread, pasta, rice, potatoes and sugar was giving a worse message.

Again, you mentioned that fasting might give the wrong idea but there’s evidence to show that fasting can lead to autophagy which helps the body to replace older cells and leads to better health.

The western diet of processed carbs is pretty unhealthy in my opinion. Since reducing them, I have more energy, less hunger pangs and I’ve felt so much better. Honestly I want to shout from the rooftops about how great this! I think I’m quite a good role model to my daughter too. I’ve had issues, taken positive steps to fix them.

My dinners now have lots more leafy veg, good fats, proteins and I don’t deprive myself. My roast dinners now have roast celeriac instead of roast potatoes but otherwise we all eat the same.

My dinners now have lots more leafy veg, good fats, proteins and I don’t deprive myself
This combination keeps you feeling full, so you'll be less likely to snack.

@NoseinBook3

So do people do the 5:2 and the 16:8 together then?

I will do when I'm onto the next phase of the Fast800 diet.

Currently I'm on my 7th week of the first phase which is 800 calories a day, at least 60g of protein and under 50g carbs.

I have lunch at 1pm and dinner at 7pm then fast between so at least 16:8.

Once I'm finished the first 12 weeks then it changes to 5:2.

2 days a week as I currently am and 5 days of eating healthily, I will still watch the carbs as am definitely insulin resistant after years of bread and pasta and more bread.

I will stick to 16:8 regardless of how I'm eating that day.

My blood sugar before I started the diet was in diabetic levels. 7 weeks later it's perfect and I've lost 22lb and feel so much healthier than I have for years. My blood pressure has dropped a lot too.

It's really shown me just how bad refined carbs have been for my health. And because this time it's not about the weight loss (it's a happy side effect) but about my health I really don't want to back to how I ate before.

That’s what I started on for the same reasons @LemonCrab. It’s been life changing.

Why is everybody piling into @Fluffycloudland77?

She talks complete sense and is living with somebody who has the opposite approach to health.

I think as a society we don’t realise how adddicted to sugar we are. We absolutely do need a wake up call

The western diet of processed carbs is pretty unhealthy in my opinion. Since reducing them, I have more energy, less hunger pangs and I’ve felt so much better.

How does this fit with Eastern cultures that consume a lot of rice and noodles? This is why I'm always so confused by anti carb sentiment. In my house we eat a lot of rice with chicken or fish and veg, I don't feel like it's unhealthy. For me there's a big difference between that and tons of processed bread and butter.

How does this fit with Eastern cultures that consume a lot of rice and noodles? This is why I'm always so confused by anti carb sentiment. In my house we eat a lot of rice with chicken or fish and veg, I don't feel like it's unhealthy. For me there's a big difference between that and tons of processed bread and butter.

I’m speaking from my experience as someone who’s developed insulin resistance, and I did specify processed carbs. For me personally, avoiding carbs completely has made me feel healthier.

Sorry @Smelborp didn't mean it sound like a personal dig at you, I'm just always curious about the new emphasis on low carb here and how that translates in other cultures. Glad you've found something that works for you.

@doadeer This may be bit garbled explanation but the eastern diets don't usually consume large quantities of wheat - which hugely contributes to modern insulin resistance. Modern wheat is so highly processed and milled now, once it's consumed it enters into the blood stream (?) extremely fast and gives us the dopamine high, similar to inhaling say cocaine. It is just as addictive and few hours later, we all crave for more. Even if you make your own bread, it's still the same effect. There may not be any additives but the flour for home baking is the same highly processed version now.

Pastries and puddings have added sugar which makes them even more addictive and makes us crave them more. There is wheat in so many food items now, for example vegetable stock cubes.

Jason Fung explains this well in his Obesity Code book.

Ahh I'll check it out.

So eating lots of rice is better than lots of bread essentially?

We eat a lot of rice, 2-3 times a week. It’s easy to digest, does not make you too full to do sport after (I can do sport 7-9 if J has rice and veggie stir fry for dinner at 6, but not if I’ve had a burger ) and generally agrees with us.

As long as you are active you can eat rice, potatoes etc with no issue ime

Low carbing is probably good if you’re more sedentary

We are a half Indian half White British family whose diet is largely Indian. This means plenty of curries and thus rice is eaten for dinner 6 of 7 nights. We even have a rice cooker. We are both just the right weight despite this. A few things that are key are - we don’t eat bread. The odd thing here or there but it’s a fundamentally rice based diet. I do the cooking and I can’t remember the last time we bought oil. Everything - including my most delectable curries are cooked oil-less. Overall we find our diet gives us very little difficulties, great variety and the rice based nature of it seems to not pile weight on. If I start eating bread I immediately feel constipated and bloated and just - not right.