I’ve got a purple fanny

[TheLostDiadem]

Due to see boyfriend for the first time this year at the weekend. We only started seeing each other in December, slept together once and then lockdown happened again.

I can’t get a bikini wax so attempted to do it myself yesterday. I half chickened out though so only a few hairs came out even though it bloody killed. Figured it didn’t matter and I’d just do a bit of a tidy up Saturday morning before I go and see him.

I’ve just had a shower and my fanny is completely purple and bruised. It looks like loads of bruises around the actual hairs so it looks like hundreds of little bulls eyes. Even though the hairs didn’t come out they got a tug and that must have bruised them somehow.

Should I be worried? Can anyone recommend a decent minge friendly concealer? There’s no way this is going to disappear in the next 48 hours is there? I’ve taken some arnica but not expecting it to do much.

@52andblue

Ok....

Can I be the first to nominate this for Classics, please?

Seconded

And did no one notice the poster who is called @KatesMott 🤣🤣🤣

Rather than cover with concealer can't you just glue a wig on it? Like a toupee

@nopulp that’s a merkin I believe

Any bruise .... avoid alcohol and aspirin I think? Ice and arnica with help. Good old sudocreme etc

[quote miltonj]@SpicyTinkle I do the exact same thing to my partner and daughter! he obviously plays dead. My daughter is 5 months so doesn't respond

[/quote]
That's good it's not just me then. Another thing I do is draw faces on them. The nipple is always the nose. My best one is when I make them a Dracula with fangs. 🧛🏻‍♂️

@nopulp

Rather than cover with concealer can't you just glue a wig on it? Like a toupee

That really backfired in the inbetweeners

You don’t need minge concealer you need some moundation

@TheLostDiadem

It still looks fucking livid this morning. I did actually try and put some concealer on there but the surrounding skin must be darker than the skin on my face so it makes it look haunted instead. There’s also the issue that there’s still a load of hairs there which don’t exactly look great caked in concealer either.

I sent a photo to my sister asking for advice which she then showed to her fucking husband because he wanted to know why she was laughing so much. He then sent me this photo which is actually pretty close (apart from the face and hand. My fanny doesn’t have that).

I'm crying again laughing. Xx

I’ve moved on to Sudocrem in a last ditch attempt. Still very little improvement .

Moundation

Could be a new line in cosmetics. Minge Conceler. Fanny foundation

Crayfishforyou.
You don't need concealer,you need moundation

Thank god for you and your poor purple fanjo OP.
Could you go for a theme? An Ursula vagajazzle maybe?

Get some vitamin e oil and rub it in the affected areas - it should take down the redness. Your poor vadge.

So funny to think any of us would be able to recommend a concealer we’d previously successfully used on our labia!

@Mooey89

Thank god for you and your poor purple fanjo OP. Could you go for a theme? An Ursula vagajazzle maybe?

Ursula vajazzle 😂

Sudocrem will still be on next week!! You need to cross oral off his to do list..

@Snowymcsnowsony

Sudocrem will still be on next week!! You need to cross oral off his to do list..

Oh goodness. What have I read. Didn't even open that urban dictionary link. I lost my innocence today. Might not recover from the shock and disgust

I warned you!

I think that whole miracle cream stuff in the Hunger Games is based on Sudacrem. It seems to be recommended for everything.

sniper rifle

Same! 🤣🤣🤣

What’s an Ursula Vajazzle? Slightly off the point but that really threw me as it’s my sisters name. Waving at sis if she found my thread 👋

And yes, thanks for pointing out that Sudocrem is impossible to get off. I had a shower as when I stood up it all felt very firm and it had sort of set hard like plaster of Paris. Shower removed it from my skin but it has coated my remaining pubes into a claylike mass. I have some of those post wax wipes though so I’m going to get to work with them.

I’ve told boyfriend and he’s very kindly said he won’t make a fuss about it and asked me if I need any help. The fact he’s being genuinely nice about is almost even more awkward.

He sounds lovely.

Have you shared the echidna picture with him?