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My DF is in jail, I need to go back to my home country, can't I take compassionate leave?

286 replies

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:23

It's for something that happened 20 years ago. He's under quarantine with other inmates under terrible conditions, I'm pretty sure he'll catch COVID and that will be the end of it. I need to go back home for an indefinite length of time, what's the best to handle this with work? (I also had to take time off for my DS in the past 3 weeks which worries me they'll think I'm taking the Mick).

OP posts:
user18467425798532 · 21/02/2021 17:06

Ohhhh.

oakleaffy · 21/02/2021 17:09

@Fressia123

Well yes prisoners are humans too, drug dealers/lords. Mexico and its population is well known for not following any advice. (they think that hospitals/doctors kill them) but that's a completely different conversation.
So if he was accused of drug running...In a way that causes shedloads of misery, especially if crack and heroin.

It is a vile trade, so much suffering involved.

''Don't do the crime if you can't do the Time'' is what a young heroin addict/dealer told me.

He did his 'Time' in a squalid, tough UK prison.

Just googled the jail, and it is still as bad now as was then.

Your dad might just have to take his chance, just like the addicts have to.

I'm aware my comment might be deleted, but 2 years is nothing for a drugs crime.

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:11

@oakleaffy I've already explained it's not drug related.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 21/02/2021 17:16

@oakleaffy Good Lord, is it Numpty Week on MN?

The OP did not say her DF is accused of a drug crime; in fact, she said specifically said he wasn't. She said there were drug dealers in the same jail.

Also Mexican Law does not, as I understand it, have the concept of 'innocent until proven guilty' (correct me if I'm wrong, OP), and it is common for people to get jailed for long periods prior to trial, even for non-violent crimes.

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:19

Yes @MissLucyEyelesbarrow you're 100% in the Mexican system you're guilty until proven otherwise.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 21/02/2021 17:21

[quote Fressia123]@oakleaffy I've already explained it's not drug related.[/quote]
In that case, I apologise.

I saw ''Drug dealers/Drug Lords'' in your thread.

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:24

It's just so crap and I've already had a crappy week.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 21/02/2021 17:25

@C8H10N4O2

So this man is a rich Mexican drug lord in the nick

Gods is this thread trying to create a record number of entries from the hard of thinking?

Caffeine, I think people don't wade through the entire thread.
unfortunateevents · 21/02/2021 17:27

We (my family) need to do a proper risk assessment of this isolation area heat being held, that's the crux at the moment. - if that is the main issue, then there is absolutely no point in you being there. Surely your sister, with an understanding of the Mexican legal system, can undertake that - although how any of you think you are going to risk assess the situation if you are visiting your father in a yard, separated by a Perspex screen, and at a distance is anyone's guess.

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:29

It's about how many are kept in confinement. It's not the same if it's 10, 20 or 50. The more people the higher the chances of contracting Covid

OP posts:
TheCatThatGotTheCream · 21/02/2021 17:30

@Fressia123

It's more to say goodbye as we're sure he'll be exposed to COVID and he's over 70, obese and with a heart condition so I at least have the certainty that he wouldn't be able to make it.
I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Would you be allowed into the prison to visit though? I would assume visiting would have been stopped due to covid.

TriflePudding · 21/02/2021 17:31

On the OPs last thread she was asking for advice because her dad didn’t want her boyfriend getting access to any of her dads assets (which are in the OPs name) - which looks massively dodgy, especially as now it turns out her DF is in prison !

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:32

Thanks @TheCatThatGotTheCream I've mentioned previously that's it not a proper visit, but you're able to see them through a screen and at a distance (about 5-6m).

OP posts:
Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 21/02/2021 17:33

@Fressia123

It's about how many are kept in confinement. It's not the same if it's 10, 20 or 50. The more people the higher the chances of contracting Covid
I’m so confused by this... why are YOU required to look at his jail conditions when your sister is there and has visited him? Will a risk assessment impact his likelihood of getting out sooner, or is this just so you can decide how likely he is to get it (without any actual backing to that claim)? If a risk assessment is helpful evidence then surely either your sister or a hired expert would do it?

I don’t think you’ll get far with work if you tell them you need to travel across the globe and leave work undone in order to do a risk assessment...

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 17:34

My DSis isn't there, she's in Switzerland. She has to fly the same way I have to fly form the UK

OP posts:
ShalomToYouJackie · 21/02/2021 17:42

@TriflePudding

On the OPs last thread she was asking for advice because her dad didn’t want her boyfriend getting access to any of her dads assets (which are in the OPs name) - which looks massively dodgy, especially as now it turns out her DF is in prison !
Yes, wasn't it all worth about 1.5 million?
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/02/2021 17:43

Maybe it’s fine for entry to Mexico but it actually doesn’t meet the UK rules. There are a very narrow range of circumstances currently under which you are legally allowed to travel to/from/within UK.

Almost all countries are allowing citizens to return. Since OP is a dual citizen, she can technically 'return' both ways. It's a pretty big deal to stop citizens getting into their own countries. I'm a dual national and was told that they couldn't refuse me entry (pre COVID) but that if I was a problem they could detain me. Very different to being a tourist. Family reunification is also allowed in most countries and OP has family in both places.

rawalpindithelabrador · 21/02/2021 17:48

@Justanotherworkingmom

Ignore idiots like *@rawalpindithelabrador*

As of last month, there are further restrictions on when you can lawfully leave the country. The regulations are all available online. Unless OP wants to find herself in prison too, she should probably take a look and get advice on whether she falls within one of the exemptions.

No reason to call people an insulting name because you disagree with them and OP can actually legally leave the country.
Jenasaurus · 21/02/2021 17:49

You could say that you need to say goodbye to your father as he has health issues which puts him at risk as he has now been exposed and it could be the last time you see him. That is true and without any need to mention jail.

rawalpindithelabrador · 21/02/2021 17:52

@Fressia123

Regardless of what people say, I've been in touch with the consulate who have assured me I definitely can fly for this reasons. That's not really in question.

My main concern is my job and that maybe I'm jumping into conclusions. But I'm pretty sure they'll think I'm taking the piss if I ask for some sort of flexibility for a 4th week.

You can only ask and find out. Of course you're allowed to leave for family reunification.
Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 21/02/2021 17:54

You can't possibly be sure he'll catch the virus. Terrible conditions don't mean the virus knows the conditions and chooses to be there. It exists in the best households, everywhere.

iolaus · 21/02/2021 17:54

Even with those risk factors it doesn't mean that he a) will catch it or b) will die

My 79 year old obese aunt with several underlying health conditions has been hospitalised with covid and is recovering

My, previously, healthy 47 year old cousin died from covid (not related to each other BTW)

It's not a given - I do get why you want to see him and say goodbye, but don't write him off yet

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 21/02/2021 17:56

You have to quarantine in both places and take a negative test before flying and after entry to the destination.

HalzTangz · 21/02/2021 18:00

Surely if he is in a period of isolation/quarantine then he wouldn't be allowed visitors as that defeats the purpose of quarantine. Being in a prison doesn't automatically mean getting covid either, and being obese doesn't mean he will die if he gets covid. Surely if it's a case of visiting to say goodbye (as you appear to be looking solely at the negative) then you would only need a short trip to make the visit, and potentially go back should his health deteriorate.also a word of advice, there is no such thing as "only I can do the job" people can always be trained to do someone else's job, if you aren't reliable in turning up to work you will become replaceable

IrmaFayLear · 21/02/2021 18:02

What about your dc? Will you be leaving them “indefinitely”? Obviously if your df were seriously ill or had died, then a trip would be essential, but at the moment it seems that visiting isn’t vital. Or is there some financial reason for needing to see him?