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If your mum was a SAHM, are you one too?

329 replies

user2021 · 18/02/2021 11:33

And vice versa, so if your mum worked out of the home, did you follow in her footsteps or did you become a SAHM?

OP posts:
SophieGiroux · 18/02/2021 11:35

My mum worked while my friends mums were at home. I always vowed that I would be at home for my children so trained for a job that has enabled me to be flexible.

Woodlandbelle · 18/02/2021 11:36

No. Mine never worked but I have two jobs and am very happy to have a career and independence. I find she is at a loss since we grew up and has very down lonely days.
I feel when mine grow up I will have something for me.

JaneNorman · 18/02/2021 11:37

I work, as did my DM and both my DGM (probably unusual for their era).

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PotteringAlong · 18/02/2021 11:38

My mum worked full time, as do I.

WhirlingGerbil · 18/02/2021 11:38

My mum was a housewife. I work from home.

Loopyloututu · 18/02/2021 11:39

I’m a sahm as was my dm, however I am planning on trying to find a job even if it’s just volunteering when things get a bit more back to normal.
I can’t do this forever - it’s too boring and unfulfilling now they’re getting older.

JaneNorman · 18/02/2021 11:40

An alternative question is whether there is a link to paternal grandmothers working, and does that give fathers the view that it’s important for mothers to stay at home. (As in, my mum was always home therefore you should give up your career to be home too).

BiggerBoat1 · 18/02/2021 11:40

My Mum was a teacher so she home for holidays but went back to work when we were very little so a bit of both!

I was a SAHM until mine started school and then got a job in a school so I could pick my own children up from school and be there throughout the holidays. I am so glad I did - I wouldn't have missed out on my children's childhood for the world. I have also surprised myself that I absolutely love working in a school, something I would never have considered if I hadn't wanted something to fit around the children.

Bibidy · 18/02/2021 11:41

My mum had a term-time only job that allowed her to be around whenever we were at home. However, she could only do this as my dad earned enough to cover the bills, which isn't the position I'm in so not an option for me.

Also, as I got older I always used to wish my mum had a full-time job as I never got any time alone at home as a teen, and I also felt that she struggled to find a purpose once myself and my sister were out and about with friends etc. She did go on to get a full-time job when we had both finished school, which was great for her and she made a lot more friends.

So I'll definitely be continuing with full-time (or nearly full-time) work.

Remaker · 18/02/2021 11:42

My mum worked FT and it was very unusual where I grew up. I was a SAHM, then worked PT and WFH to be flexible around my kids.

user2021 · 18/02/2021 11:42

@SophieGiroux

My mum worked while my friends mums were at home. I always vowed that I would be at home for my children so trained for a job that has enabled me to be flexible.

This is us too. My mum was the breadwinner and I was so jealous of my friends whose mums were always around for drop off/pick up, play dates, school activities. I'm a SAHM.

OP posts:
starsinyourpies · 18/02/2021 11:42

Mine was a SAHM and it didn't suit her, circumstances and lack of childcare options meant this was the case.

I work full time.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 18/02/2021 11:44

Mum never worked after having kids and had few friends as a result that were just her friends. She couldn't and didn't want to get a job when we were teenagers or adults and it meant she had very little in her life that was just 'hers'.

I teach so manage a balance of working and being able to be there for the school.hols for mine when they were kids.

ladybirdlamp · 18/02/2021 11:46

My mum was a SAHM until I was about 8 and then she worked part-time in a school.

I'm part-time but will go up to nearly full-time as my kids get older, hopefully with a bit of flexibility so either me or DH can still pick them up at least three days a week.

To be honest my decisions around work aren't really based on my childhood experiences (at least not consciously!) We both need to work or we can't afford to live so not really much point dwelling on whether or not I should be a SAHM.

Howshouldibehave · 18/02/2021 11:48

My mum worked full time till having kids and then part time and so do I.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 18/02/2021 11:49

My mum was a sahm until I went to junior school then she got a teacher training job and worked up to full time work.

I took an 3.5 yr career break and went back part time when my daughter was in pre school, and I'm doing the same for my son currently 18m.

I went back to shifts which meant my daughter was only in three hours of preschool extra a week, so my husband had to do more with her and she didn't have to be in childcare for much extra.

This is the best of all worlds imo, at home for their early years, flexi/PT when they're older allowing me to go full time when it suits me.
This is down to me having a very good employer who gives up to 5 years career break and a good earning husband. I recognise I am very fortunate.

onetwothreeadventure · 18/02/2021 11:50

My DM was a single parent and continued with her career until retirement. I work full time too.

She always drilled into me the importance of being financially independent in case the shit ever hits the fan.

Isadora2007 · 18/02/2021 11:51

I was a sahm for the early years then worked part time around school hours for the first few years of school.
Just gone back to full time education as a student nurse and youngest is 8. Difficult now with covid and home schooling etc but hubby now WFH so when I’m out on placements he’s around.

My mum worked part time when I was younger.

ellenpartridge · 18/02/2021 11:52

My parents were both teachers though mum was sahm until we started school. I work 4 days a week and have done since DC was 1.

frakas · 18/02/2021 11:52

The other way round. My mum always worked and I'm a SAHM.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 18/02/2021 11:54

My DM worked full time which was unusual then and I remember saying to myself when I was really young that when I have DC I want to stay home and with them and that’s what I did.

HariboBrenshnio · 18/02/2021 11:56

My mum was a nurse and changed what nursing/hours as we went through school. For a long time she'd do nights, take us to school, sleep, pick us up from school and switch over at 6pm with Dad to go back to work. She's always felt around until I was way into my teens when she progressed up and did more hours. My dad was a teacher so got all the school holidays off with us, though we didn't see him tons during term time.

I work part time, school hours. It was important for me to be in the playground while they're little and I'll increase as they go through secondary. Just like my mum Smile

WhatHaveIFound · 18/02/2021 11:57

No, my mum was a SAHM and i've worked full time since I was 18 with a bit of childcare juggling when my DC were little.

Chimeraforce · 18/02/2021 11:57

My mum was a sahm whilst we were in primary. She tried evening cleaning at hospital but had to stop as my dad couldn't manage us for 4 hours 🙄
I was a sahm for 5 years and have worked varying part time since.

DelurkingAJ · 18/02/2021 11:59

My DM worked very FT but we had a live in nanny and DDad was around in the holidays. I work FT and it never occurred to me not to, we did discuss DH staying at home but he didn’t want to so didn’t. My DMIL has been honest enough to say that she thinks I’m barmy (I’m not sure she realises I outearn DH fairly significantly). DH never dreamt of suggesting I should stay at home, we discussed this long before we married and had DC.

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