If your mum was a SAHM, are you one too?

[user2021]

And vice versa, so if your mum worked out of the home, did you follow in her footsteps or did you become a SAHM?

My mother (large family) went back to work when the youngest was three. She loved work and she had a life outside us. Her doctor used to tell her to keep on working because it kept her healthy. She was still working part time until her mid seventies. My MIL never went back to work ( two kids) and she was very lost in her fifties and sixties until grandchildren came along.She had low esteem and did not drive or do much outside the home. It resulted in a long period of depression. She believed that a mother should be at home. When her beloved daughter had children and went back to work full time and put her children into nursery, she was so hurt and lost.
I have worked part time and then full time when my children were older years at primary school. I am still working very part time in my late sixties ( and doing lots of childcare). I agree with my mother's doctor, work keeps you young.

My mum was/is a SAHM and I work with no intention of becoming one.

I could never be financially dependent on my husband the way she is and I'd hate to be reliant on him for a pension too. Gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.

She worked weekends , which I hated, as dad cba with us, so he just watched TV all day and ignored us- apart from shouting at us.
She worked full time from when I was 12,I think. But dad did nothing to help, so the whole of my teens is coloured by her complaining about what a terrible husband he was and how no one would ever help her etc etc.

We were poor all the way through childhood and had kids take the piss cos of our homemade clothes/non branded stuff. I've worked full time all the way through my adult life. And married a man who does his share of everything. And even though I know brands shouldn't matter, and I hear my mum's voice still telling me 'they're all the same' I buy my kids named brand trainers.

DM was a SAHM, partly due to ill health. I had a few years at home, then went PT when youngest DD was 3, and FT when they started reception.

My mum was PT, I’ve been SAHM for 12 years and still love it, my youngest is 6 now. No plans to get a job anytime soon.

Mum had to take a career break when we were young but went back full time when I (youngest) started school. I didn’t feel I missed out on anything with 2 working parents and she was a fabulous support when I went back to work after maternity - and I mean from a distance, not in a hands on childcare way. She recognises I also need a just me time at work, when I am not a Mum.

My mum stayed at home until I was about 9, and then worked full time until retirement. She raised a few eyebrows by going back to work as it wasn't the done thing in their circle. I always remember one pompous neighbour saying to my dad that he wouldn't let his wife go out to work! (My mum's response to that was that if she was married to him she would take every possible opportunity to get out of the house!). I have always worked, both full and part time, since graduating in the late 80s.
My late MIL gave up work when she married in 1953, and never worked again. She was a very naive woman with some very odd ideas about the workplace. My mum and her were exact contemporaries, yet my mother had a much more modern approach to life.

My mum always worked, but she ran her own business, so was more flexible than being an employee, I suppose.

Probably more unusually, my grandmother and great aunts all worked FT, several running businesses.

It was the model I grew up with, so I would find the concept of not working a little strange and unsettling, tbh.

When I was growing up none of my friends mums worked outside of the home. My Mum did some term time only work once both my DB and I were at secondary school and then full time work once my DB (younger than me) was 13. Dad was in the police so they couldn’t “share” the childcare efficiently although he was very involved when he was at home. DHs mum was a SAHM until her youngest was 11.

I was a SAHM until both my DCs were at secondary and now work term time only.

No

Mum was SAHM until I was a teenager (well apart from a stint as a lunchtime supervisor when we were at school and when we were tiny she helped to run a playgroup).

I am the main earner by a huge margin in my relationship and have returned to work 4 days per week (30hr instead of 37). We could not exist on one income and certainly not DH's!

My mum was a teacher and worked full time from when I was small, but obviously had the holidays. I was very part time, then part time and went full time when my youngest started secondary. I always knew I would work when I had children so always kept a toe hold in my profession.

My mum has done some pretty dreadful things, but one of her big parenting and life wins was having a stable professional career. And in contradiction to 'no one thinks about work on their death bed' when she looks back post retirement, despite some dreadful life choices,her career is one of the things she can be proud of - as she should be, it is a worthwhile and important job she did for 30+ years.

My mum went back to work when I was in high school, I’m currently a SAHM but I work from home 1 hour a day. When my youngest starts school I’m going to go part time

Mine was SAHM from the birth of her eldest until the youngest left secondary school. Crucially though, she was an older mother who was already very highly educated and had a decent professional career under her belt before starting a family. She went back to work almost full time when the youngest left secondary.

I am mostly SAHM but work very part time, with similar educational and professional achievements to hers. I would say she was a very significant influence.

In answer to PP who asked about MILs, mine worked full time from when DH was young. He would have a very very mild preference for me to be SAHM but is happy with whatever I choose to do as long as I'm happy with it.

My fathers second wife, I am loathe to call the pos stepmother, didn’t work.

She never worked, no job ever. Never even tried, Did fuck all her whole life. Now she’s a pensioner, and went her whole adult life having never worked a day. Even when we were in poverty and in secondary school it never occured her to get a job.

I work, my daughter works, and I’m fairly sure if she had kids she’d continue to work.

My mum was sahm by choice. Her choice. And I was the only child. I would have been absolutely fine if she went back to work. Every conversation we have now ends with her telling me 'I gave up my life for you'.
I am not Sahm, I think both working parent give a child a good example of the right balance

My mum was a SAHM while her DC were pre schoolers and went back to work as soon as her youngest DC (me) started school, and I did the same.

Mum was mainly a housewife (she had periods of work but overall was a SAHM)

I work part time x3 days per week (currently from home)

MIL was a SAHM (had her kids young) and then retrained when they were all in school and was a nurse for 30 years.

Mum was opposite. Worked until she had kids, then sporadic work but mainly SAHM.

My mum had kids at 30ish, stayed at home with us for 10ish years, then re-trained as a teacher and has had a 20 year career that she loves. So I will be staying at home with my DD for as long as I want to and then the world's my oyster, based on watching my mum!

My mother was a SAHM for most of my childhood. She was a very good mother in many respects, but she was entirely ill-suited to being a SAHM. I have always worked full time, I would never want to be a SAHM.

My mum was a wahm - made and decorated wedding cakes, but as she was freelance she only worked when the orders came in. Other than that she was a housewife and helped dad on the farm too sometimes. She was always at home though.

I'm also a self employed wahm. I stopped working for other people when my oldest was around 3 (15 years ago). I've been able to work around my kids so I've never had to use childcare and I love being home with them (although I can't wait for school to re open so that I can get back to work and stop home schooling!)

My mum was a SAHM and I'm a housewife. She'd cook dinner for my Dad every night, looked after us kids and did all the shopping, present buying etc. She genuinely loved it and is still a housewife. She never felt trapped or oppressed.

I cook every meal for my husband, I clean his clothes, do most of the shopping, etc. I don't have to and he'd never force me to not work but I enjoy housewifery. If we have children I'd continue to be a housewife and SAHM.

My mum was at home until all kids were at school, then worked in a school hours job, and increased her hours a bit as we got older.
I stayed at home until youngest was in school, then retrained and am full-time-term-time now. I wouldn’t change anything with hindsight. The years I had at home with them were lovely and I feel so grateful that I could spend that time with them.

My mum was a sahm.
I was a sahm until my child started school and subsequently have returned to work, working from home permanently, part time in school hours.
Perfect every which way!
I admit to struggljng to understand why any mother wouldn't want to spend those precious initial years with their children... As I see the absolute benefits and indeed the benefits of being present outside of school too, not reliant on breakfast clubs and after school clubs etc until God knows what time!

My mum worked evenings in a shop.
I work evenings as a private tutor.
We are/were both stay at home mums during the day.