What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

Starrinthesky, she was 14! & i knew for a fact she had her period at the time but it was a very shocking phone call to receive! That was 7 years ago, think things would be different now!

That my daughter was complaining of having an insect in her ear, in a definite tone of disbelief. In I went, had her put her head on my lap and dripped a little water in her ear - up popped a little bug!

I was asked to collect my sick child. Drove 20 minutes from work to get them.

It was the wrong child.

DD was in the school I teach at, and a colleague told me that she'd managed to start a small fire in class that day.

I'd had a really bizarre day with endless things going pear-shaped, and Dd starting a fire in school didn't even make it into the top 3 bizarre things of the day. It's amazing what kids can do even without trying.

'Hello Ms Marshall, MiniMoody has stuffed toilet roll so far into his ears we can't get it out. We think it's an A&E job'.

(I did a home A&E job )

In reception ds and his friends all took to weeing on a tree in the playground. Teacher was telling us at pickup one by one 😳

Not my child but me as a child that my DM always loves to recount - about 3/4 had been taken by nursery to the local museum where we were essentially put in a mud patch with a tooth brush to do "archaeology". Within 10minutes of arriving I'd wandered out of the mud patch and fallen face first into a giant cow pat and was covered head to toe in cow pat DM got a call to come.and collect me/hose me down.

I was in a meeting, mobile rang and it was from school. Couldn't answer. So they phone DH who was also in a meeting but saw it was school so answered. School Business Manager huffed at him that DS was trying to have school lunch but we hadn't booked him in. We had yet the office staff had just missed him off the list

"Hi Babba, Babba junior's filling has fallen out and they've thrown it at another student in maths, could you come and collect them".

Soo many, all involving the Giz in my name, he ran into preschool (the building which shared a playground) and had a fat lip and they wanted to warm me before pick up time, he was pulled over in the playground and smashed his glasses into his eyebrow (trip to minor injuries to get it checked and new glasses needed) he was a class hero on return! Far to may others where he has clashed heads with other children

Should have been a phone call really but was a message in the school parent portal thingy at least an hour after the fact "just to let you know your DD fell in the lake today but there was no one to take her home so she had to stay outside in wet clothes until home time"

“We really appreciate your harvest festival donation but it is a bit inappropriate for an 8year old to bring in bottles of beer”

I had asked my DH to grab anything from the bottom cupboard for DC to take in. Apparently he didn’t really look at the labels.

I got a phone call from the headmistress about the fact my son had dropped his gloves when DH picked them up from school, and had a big strop about it. I have no idea what I was expected to say.

not a phone call but a being pulled aside at the end of the day...

Mrs Bong littlest Bong's behaviour has been v bad. i had to tell her off in assembly......

She was hugging the little boy next to her - who remains one of her besties today. She was 5!!!!

Once school rang that ds had a fly in his ear.. Adult dd left work as she was closer... Never found it..
GP didn't either..

In Year 1, school and I had done concerns about DS’s behaviour, and thought there may be some ADHD or similar. He was referred to the school nursing service, who rang me up and said “we’ve already spoken to you about this child”. No they hadn’t. They had try e right name, but wrong school, DoB, age etc. My suggestion that they had spoken to the parents of another child with the same (not at all unusual) name, fell on deaf ears. They then spent 15 mins discussing another child with me. It was very odd. They told me that I didn’t appear to be engaged with his issues - erm because we’re talking about someone else’s child perhaps?

My NDN had to pick up her son because a “branch fell on his head”. She rushed to school with visions of her unconscious son on the playground floor. No, he was in the reception area holding a twig to size of a pencil, that had fallen out of the folds of a gazebo they were putting up for sports days. That boy hated sports! He managed to drag out his possible concussion long enough not to have to go to Sports Day though.

Many over the years from the termly sigh of one school admin noting that ds1 had had his termly walk into a pole and bumped his head to one nursery teacher (whom we knew very well and she was quite mortified at pursuing the line of questioning) who was concerned about ds2's Christmas experience when he was deeply convincing about having received nothing, not even a nut ... Once we had stopped laughing we said that it was his favourite line from a Nick Butterworth Christmas book (Jingle Bells, I think). He was four and very dramatic.

@LynetteScavo, I am laughing so much at the deconstructed bench. I can just imagine my ds2 doing something like that.

"Please can you come and collect your DD. She's been sick in the doorway just as the OFSTED inspector was coming in!"

This one was about me
“Mrs Bike’sMum, please ensure that your older children do not teach Bike inappropriate skills for her age”.

Age 9, I had borrowed my friend’s glasses to focus the sunlight and had indeed started a small fire. I
was as amazed as anyone. DBro taught me with a magnifying glass. He is 9 years older than me and became a science teacher.😊

As a teacher I once had to phone parents of a seemingly nice y7 girl to inform them that she had drawn an enormous phallus on one of the desks in the first week in our brand new school building. I’ve no idea what she was thinking of and she’s lucky she didn’t get into tons of trouble because we had been going on about respecting the new building for months!

That my son (this was at secondary school) had called a short fat ginger kid an "Oompa Loompa". This was conveyed all deadly serious and I could not help myself and burst out laughing before composing myself.

Disclaimer: I do not condone bullying and did speak to my son about it (turned out that the other boy had been teasing him about his ADHD and called him a "retard" so Oompa Loopma in response was quite a mild rebuke!)

Some of these are brilliant. @Tyredofallthis1in particular - had me in stitches. We haven't quite had that but it's come close a few times...!

Not so much the call as the experience overall which just made me laugh: Office calls to say that DS has been in a head on collision with another child running in playground and can we please collet him as they think he will need to go up to A&E to have a stitch or two in his eyebrow. Cue me dashing off to fetch him. As I walk onto playground, the other child and his mother are heading out. Other child has a bump the size of an egg on his head. The two of us shared the well known parental wry, "Oh For Fucks Sake" look!

Phone call on ds's birthday when he was 9.
Sorry Mrs Morlich but the cake you sent in (large homemade cake covered in two boxes of smarties) had to be put in the bin. But at least the dc enjoyed looking at it earlier!

Teacher had allowed 2 boys to help my ds fetch cake from office where teacher had stored it.
2 boys had carried cake, ds brandishing knife (those were the days) and boys messed about and dropped cake on floor. Ds was very upset.

Always DS2.
In year 2 his best mate’s mum and I were asked to pop in to ‘have a chat.’ DS2 and ‘William’ had been reenacting something from Captain Underpants and had completely blocked the boys toilet with toilet rolls, then flushed it and flooded the whole area. Their teacher had had to go in with rubber gloves. Sigh.

In Y7 I got a call from the year head, DS2 had had a shoe thrown at him while on the school bus and he had picked it up and thrown it out of the window into a field of cows. The poor boy who the shoe belonged to wasn’t the thrower! I might have laughed at this, but backed up the after school detention.