What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

@MaddeningtheUnhelpful

My daughter is a menace. So far I've had "little maddening has flooded the bathroom floor with soap because she wanted a slip and slide" "little maddening has 'opened a salon' in the supplies cupboard and has another child's hair" "little maddening has been stood next to a puddle all day and refused to move just to wait until class bully walks past to jump and splash them" "we have found extensive plans in maddening pigeon hole about how to escape the school playground to go to the park" She is actually a lovely child I promise

Actually she does sound great. Quite enterprising which I'm sure will serve her well in the future!

But in any case I pointed out that he is virtually a clone of his Dad, and also that he’s a twin and the school thought to ask her? No.

Brilliant and unexpected punch line

"Your DC has fallen asleep on her laptop and we can't wake her up, can you come and get her?"

"Your DC has a wobbly tooth".

@Snowymcsnowsony

In secondary school ds's teacher rang to say there had been an incident . Tuned up and ds was holding a wet paper towel to his head. Apparently no teacher qualified in first aid in today. Split open across one side. Went straight to hospital.. They stapled it when he was awake. I fainted. Turns out some pupils had been throwing bricks through classroom doors and one went through the glass and hit ds. One of the boys df's came into my workplace to apologise on behalf of his ds. He was disgusted to tell me the lads had been issued with invoices for replacement glass and were excluded for a week. No punishment for assaulting ds though.

Ah, sounds just like my DS and DD secondary school, I don’t miss the daily phone calls from year tutors, having to attend intervention meetings, and so on, they are 18 and 22 now, both with good careers ahead of them, despite their useless OFSTED dodging secondary school.

Funny one though, my DDs secondary school were being closely scrutinised by OFSTED with good reason, they used to turn up unannounced. Headteacher introducing OFSTED inspectors x 4 to the usual bright and shiny kids, my DD decides to stand quietly whilst waiting for class. Headteacher spots my DD and panics, trying to get the OFSTED posse away from my very frank speaking daughter. OFSTED see my DD and ask if she would speak with them. Yes of course my DD says smiling brightly at her headteacher, and yes, she then very politely and eloquently gave them all some home truths, answered OFSTEDs questions, cue lots of scribbling in notes by OFSTED. They then thanked my DD, and told the headteacher how helpful, eloquent and well mannered DD is! The headteacher couldn’t agree less, my DD said it was fantastic watching her headteacher squirm!

Teacher phoned to say that my 5 year old son apologised for being late (he wasn't) and had explained that it was because Eliza had escaped and we couldn't leave until she was shut up again and she had been left alone which made her sad. Teacher had a few questions. Eliza was our new puppy!

It was technically the police calling from the school. There had been a hit and run accident outside the school that morning. Thankfully the pedestrian who was hit was fine. My child was identified as the person possibly in the front passenger seat. My child who is too young to legally sit in the front seat and who was currently in her room on a zoom call because we chose the full-year remote school option this year. So thankfully her alibi was strong.

Hi

“Your son has got his finger stuck in an industrial plastic toilet roll tube. (The central bit). The DT teacher tried to cut him out and your son needs stitches now.”

Hi is that YouTubeAddict

Yes it is

Why is Little YouTubeAddict at school today?

Well it’s Thursday isn’t it?

YouTubeAddict, are you aware that the school is being used as a polling station today and he was found wandering in the playground by one of the teachers from the adjoining junior school

😬 Felt like a right twat. Especially with him being only 5.

Not from school but nursery … can you come and get x as we have found an un exploded ww2 bomb in the garden snd bomb squad are on there way to sort it and we need to evacuate the nursery …

Sorry But can you bring some more shoes in for Mini Bagpuss as one of her friends has flung one of her shoes over the fence into some gardens.
Turned up to find the caretaker going door to door by the fence searching for DD’s shoe 😂

DD was coming to then end of year 13, she was 18.5 years old and the school called to ask my permission for her to leave school premises with her class on an educational visit to a local (walkable) venue that afternoon. With a teacher.

“Your son has brought a gun into school and we have confiscated it!”

He has been staying the weekend at his Grandma’s house (grandmother in his fathers side) and she had taken him to school on Monday morning and thought it ok to send him in with a rifle, not just a toy rifle but a replica rifle which didn’t actually fire but looked the part.

When I picked him up from school and collect the ‘gun’ it was almost as tall as him! 😩😂

When Covid first began I got a very arsey phone call to ask why I had sent DS to (Primary) School when DD was at home with Covid symptoms.
Only she wasn’t, she was fine and at school.

The phone calls weren’t really weird as a rule but the accident reports were something else, we even got quite an amusing one when he did his Secondary school transition day

I'd previously lived practically next door to the school but we had moved house and a school place closer wasn't yet available so I was having to drive my Ds (5) to his old school and back every day. Journey was 45 minutes to an hour depending on traffic!

One morning I dropped him off and drove back home. Get a phone call as soon as I'm home telling me my ds has been sick and can I collect him. Drive back and walk into the reception to get him. An unwell and unknown to me little boy stares at me and I look back confused and ask receptionist where my Ds is? She'd only called the wrong mother. The unwell child had the same first name as my ds. Receptionist seemed to find this hilarious. Meanwhile I've driven an hour for no reason and the poor sick child was stuck waiting for his mother. Fuming didn't even cover it.

This was over 35 years ago. Name of child changed.

The headmaster of our closest school phoned to ask why DS Simon hadn't attended school for the last few weeks.
He was getting quite irate demanding he attends tomorrow or else he will report not only to the school monitor
but to social services. He wouldn't let me get a word in. Saying that he and the school had been very reasonable.

Finally after a good few minutes I replied that Ds won't be attending school for at least another 4 years as he
was only 3 months old.
Right name, wrong Child and wrong phone number. Ours ends 170 and he wanted 180.

Singing, you need to come get little shithouse, she's stuck up a tree & we don't know what to do because of her leg cast & she's asking for you.

DD who was meant to be on crutches with a cast from ankle to knee. Thankfully DH was home & is tall enough to lift her down unharmed

At nursery...

Can you please come & explain to little Shithouse, that she needs to wear her knickers, we spotted her doing handstands in the garden & she's refusing to let us help her put some knickers on, is getting hysterical & tells us that you've told her not to let people "touch her bits" I kind of had, but not in the way she took it 😂

Oh & from Youth Club

"Dad has had a bit of an accident showing off her amazing gymnastics skills & miss judged a roll. She's okay, but we've had to ring an ambulance, can you meet her here quickly please"

DD didn't do gymnastics & certainly not as it turned out to be joining in with older actual gymnasts🥴 thankfully she'd only sprained her neck, it could have been so much worse

Got a text AND an email to tell me that my son had been marked as absent and I need to call the school to explain why.
I try and try to call them back, can't get through.
Just as I gave up, they rang me!

Me: "I just got a notification that my child isn't in school today, husband dropped him off as usual and he's not the type to skip lessons" (geek!)
Them: "Oh I know, he's in school, he's in front of me"
Me: "Ok so why did I get a notification that he was absent?"
Them: "No idea"
Me: "Right, anyway, glad we got that sorted... ?"
Them: "No, actually we rang you for something else, he's definitely here, but he needs to not be!"
Me: "sorry?"
Them: "he's been identified as a close contact and needs to be out of here"
Me: "riiiight, well send him home then"
Them: "can he walk?"
Me: "well yes, just chuck him out, he knows the way home"
Them: "you can't pick him up?"
Me: "I haven't got the car, just let him walk home!"
Them: clearly looking at address "oh you only live down the road, ok then"

At the SAME time, husband had also got same email/text, had same convo with someone else and had agreed to go pick him up (softie!)

Poor boy didn't know whether to walk or wait, 2 people telling him different things!
He got collected in the end!

Got a phonecall when my youngest was in reception to tell me he'd weed on another child. Apparently him and his best mate were messing around in the toilets and my son did a quick turn mid wee without thinking. Luckily his friends mum found it hilarious!

Forgot another one...got a panicked call from the school secretary asking if my ds was allergic to pasta. He isn't allergic to anything as I put on whatever form I filled out when he started but he'd told the dinner ladies he was allergic to it so he didn't have to eat it

Phone call from Dd2 school. Mrs Inever when you come to parent teacher meeting can you ask Mr inever to come too as now that you're divorced we can't discuss Dd2 unless you are both there. They were a bit taken aback when I said nobody had informed me about the divorce.
Dd2 had done very little work all term and for some reason thought she could invent a divorce to stop us being invited to parent teacher meeting.

Phone call from a teacher at Ds2 school (not his teacher) Mrs inever there's been an incident with Ds2 (this was regular occurrence he was always getting in trouble for boisterous play and hurting others.) So I was very shocked when she went on to say her child had fell out with Ds2 and left marks on him with her nails. Poor teacher was mortified.

Dd2 again...Mrs inever can you contact Dd and see where she is as she isn't in class. Cue frantic phone calls to Dd phone. Eventually she rang me back to say she was in the library doing a maths assessment she had missed due to illness the week before. Supervised by head of maths.

Not a phone call but note home in reading book on Monday to say Dd had fallen a hit her head hard and we should observe her for head injury overnight. The incident happened on Friday...reading books didn't come home at the weekend.

Can you pick your daughter up she's vomited all over a dinner lady's head 😳

He has done a stinker, can you come and get him now