Does anyone NOT have an inner critic?

[HorseGallopingOnATomato]

Is it possible?

Mine is unrelentingly vile to me. Not an hour goes by where I don't remind myself how fat and enormous I am. Stupid as I'm successful and happy and so on... But it does worry me that I'm so vile to myself 24/7

@BaggoMcoys

Is your voice like a second person? I think in the first person. Sometimes I have negative thoughts but not quite how you describe. To use one of your examples my thought process would be "I'll never do xyz" rather than "you'll never do xyz".

Mine is in the first person.

@Bluntness100

I don’t have this, it sounds wearying. I have more an inner super fan.

This is what I need. In fairness, mine mainly chatters on about all kinds of random stuff and frequently questions whether I did something quickly enough or correctly but I’m fairly good at being able to answer her now. I do wonder if I have more than one in my head though.

No wonder I’m so tired all the time. All these conversations.

@horsegallopingonatomato I was going through a grim time in my life and with the inner critic on top I just got fed up and exhausted and sort of subconsciously told it f off - like I would with a real person if they were hassling me. Me myself and I are a team now .

Mine only appears when I’m very stressed or run down. Basically if I have insomnia. It’s normally very rare (has been more this past year).

Counselling for toads is a good book to read on the inner critic.

My ex boyfriend. Absolutely no self doubt whatsoever.

It was weird to me.

He was otherwise perfectly normal, he had emotions, he was thoughtful (though super arrogant, it wasn't a sign of secret sociopathy or anything), normal looking, reasonably successful at work. He had friends and interests. But literally never ever questioned himself. Bit odd.

Mine is normally fairly quiet and it forgives me for my mistakes. I do berate myself sometimes but I soon move on.

I wish I didnt have one. Even when things go well it's there telling me it wont last. Hate the fucker. I have tried several books. I think one told me to shut it down as soon as it starts up - cue me literally thinking "shut up" all the time. AAAARGH.

Do you think it's the voice you were spoken to when you were a child? I had very lovely parents so I tend to think very positive things about myself and I think it's their voices I'm replicating. I always internally praise myself for doing my best (even if I'm feeling a bit anxious, I'm still mostly quite kind to myself) And randomly, I always think 'what a lovely face' when I look on the mirror. I'm cringing writing that because it's not by any stretch of the imagination that I'm beautiful but I think it's my mum's voice in my head and it's lovely because it's mine.

I don’t have an inner critic. I plan things or think about the past/future but not in words IYSWIM, more in ideas or pictures.

@WillowSummerSloth that’s so lovely.

[quote HorseGallopingOnATomato]@NiceGerbil the mean side of the inner monologue that says stuff like

I can’t believe you’re still in this job, you’re rubbish
You’ll never do xyz
Let’s go back over all the people that said mean things and why you deserved it
You aren’t ready to do XYZ, you’ll make a fool of yourself
Why do you think X will be interested in what you have to say?

That kind of stuff[/quote]
This is very common.

CBT would really help. It does NOT have to be this way. It’s hard work and you have to keep at it but you can change your thoughts which in turn changes your brain chemistry. Think of it like a woodland path that’s been created by years of walkers. Changing it will mean forging a new path but it absolutely can be done.

I don't all the time but occasionally it really shrieks. I have had a lot of therapy which helped me speak to myself more soothingly and warmly. But sometimes I get a bit of self loathing.

My dh rarely questions his past mistakes.
He is the first to admit he is arrogant sometimes. He was brought up by parents who didn't have any self awareness of their many failings and worked in a mostly male environment for decades and was also in the army for a while ( only the TA , but heavily involved) I think all these factors mean he doesn't have this inner voice of doom at all .
He is a nice person, but he powers on through life never looking back.. I'm the opposite,

I think a lot of the people who don’t seem to have an inner critic block it out by blaming others for whatever might have made them feel uncomfortable.

Yes, I think I do.
Mine constantly says "I really don't like you very much" but I can't work out if she's talking about me or my DH.

Mine will repeat things I’ve said in a nasty mocking voice.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is brilliant. You can listen to him read it on YouTube, free.

He got to the stage where he was suicidal, he said he 'couldn't live with himself anymore', and realised there must be two of him. One self, and one who couldn't bear the self. Upon realising this, the critical self dropped away, and he's been as happy as Larry (well, probably happier) ever since.

I've had a much quieter inner critic since I read the book, and I do just chuckle at it now, much as I would any other critic. Don't believe everything you think.

I had a friend who blamed everyone else who had ever been in her life for her own failings and stubbornness. Her dh is blamed constantly for everything wrong in her life. It's never her.
Maybe their critical voice is telling them ' it's everyone else! '
It is a fascinating thread.

It's easy to criticise yourself. I always think though would I speak to someone I loved the way my inner critic speaks to me and the answer is no. Anyone ever tried the exercise of writing 5 things you love about yourself and 5 things you hate? I don't know why but most people I've asked always say it's easy to find the bad but they struggle with the good?

The inner critic is low self esteem.

My inner self is pretty helpful and a bit of a champion.

I don't see when I read, I can not 'see' people in my minds eye and nor can I bring up any objects inside my mind.

Blaming yourself for everything and blaming others for everything is unhealthy.

There is a middle ground here. Self reflection is extremely important as is being able to take responsibility for your actions. That said- constantly criticising yourself for literally everything is unhealthy and a sign of anxiety disorder and people pleasing tendency which typically causes massive internal pressure that builds over time and can lead to illness. It’s not healthy to criticise yourself constantly - a good test is: how would you talk to someone you love like your best friend for example? My guess is you’d be honest with them but also kind and you certainly wouldn’t criticise them for every tiny flaw.

I wish I didn’t, she’s a bitch!