It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged.....

[NotJackieWeaver]

I’ll start.

It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged that when a mumsnetter finds a certain situation absurd that another Mumsnetter has not found absurd the second Mumsnetter must feel personally judged and take offence.

...that when a mumsnetter posts lightheartedly about any given situation at least one other mumsnetter will respond in a very earnest fashion, thereby entirely missing the point of the intended lightheartedness.

It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged that if someone does something differently from someone else it must be "regional".

It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged that when a Mumsnetter asks "AIBU" and is told "YABU" they must argue and insist that they are not

...that your problem is, in fact, an OH problem.

.......That you should Log it with 101

....that you shouldn't answer your door unless it's a pre arranged appt

Red flag.
Leave immediately.
Ring womens aid.
Hes left the toilet seat up.... again.
Hes a gaslighting abusive idiot.
Get your ducks in a row, immediately.
Where is ones passport?!

I don’t know why exactly but “ Ducks In A Row” really annoys me!

That washing with anything other than filtered distilled spring water between the waist and knees will result in instant raging thrush

Any dickhead behaviour, and someone will ask, Have you considered if DP is on the spectrum? And another poster will immediately be totally offended at that.

...that a spa day solves everything

...that everyone can get a cleaner if feeling overloaded at home

...that if anyone under 10 stone says they need to lose a bit of weight, Mumsnetters over 10 stone must take it as a personal slight against them, their weight, their eating habits and their entire lifestyle.

That you're breaking Covid rules anyway, no matter how irrelevant to the question asked.

If you post a situation that includes you leaving your house or interacting with another person, you must explain you are not in the UK/the interaction was socially distanced or the Covid police will completely miss your point and snip at you about us being in lockdown.

That because the explanation is unusual therefore, it cannot be the truth.

That if your husband doesn’t want sex it’s his fault. If you don’t want sex it’s also his fault.

That one scrawny 1.3kg chicken converts into at least 12 adult sized meals and stock for a gallon of nourishing and hearty soup.

And you must cancel the bloody cheque...

That if a poster is a bit mad, you must ask them, 'Are you on glue?!'

That everyone lives in the same sort of locale / house / family set up as the person posting so if THEY can walk everywhere / have a playroom / share chores then so can everyone. They're just not trying

"You should try taking in ironing"

Astonishingly, I've still seen this one suggested post-covid, as if most irons haven't been rusting since the start of 2020.

That from the moment you can toddle, you must have foremost in your mind the goal of buying your own house/flat. Otherwise, you are disadvantaged and possibly a bit of a loser. Adventurous? No, no, no.
What about owning your own flat/house?????

... you buy naice ham.

@Ultimateblends

Red flag. Leave immediately. Ring womens aid. Hes left the toilet seat up.... again. Hes a gaslighting abusive idiot. Get your ducks in a row, immediately. Where is ones passport?!

That's really really unfair

I was one of those who got great advice on here and yes many said LTB
They were flipping correct