It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged.....

[NotJackieWeaver]

I’ll start.

It is a Mumsnet truth universally acknowledged that when a mumsnetter finds a certain situation absurd that another Mumsnetter has not found absurd the second Mumsnetter must feel personally judged and take offence.

... that it’s not bread unless it’s crusty, and it’s not a salad unless it’s enormous. There must be lashings of butter everywhere; if you’re not singlehandedly manipulating the butter market every time you frequent Lidl it’s just not good enough.

That if your husband has secret money it is financial abuse. But if the wife doesn't have a leaving stash she's a fool

....... that if you feel remotely unwell, you MUST go to A & E right away. And various imaginary DRs and nurses must come onto said thread to urge the poster that it sounds very serious and they must get themselves there straight away.

And the OP must have no childcare, no neighbours, can't drive, taxis don't cover the area or buses/trains/ferries, and the OP simply must stay at home with the 13 children they have who are all on the spectrum.

And then the OP must not reply, so the thread fills rapidly with lots of "how are you, OP" "hope OP is still alive" comments.

That any landlord issues can be solved by gifting your tenants your house.

That if you meet a homeless person you should consider inviting them to live in your spare room but family members or friends should never, ever ask to stay at your house.

That a “tinkly laugh” will bring anyone around to your way of thinking and is in no way passive aggressive.

…that it’s a good idea, and legal, to change the locks so the house’s co-owner can’t get in and no backlash could possibly come of it.
…that a man who hits a woman is on an abusive track that will only end when he strangles her.
…that a woman who hits a man is wrong but had a temporary and understandable loss of judgement in the face of extreme provocation from him.
…that a male partner who so much as makes eye contact with another woman is having an affair.
…that gut instinct is invariably 100% correct.
…that every child should have its own bedroom, even if they only sleep in that house six nights a year.
…that the police have the time and inclination to care about her across the road looking at you funny.

Every single meal must be cooked from scratch , no child has ever suffered by never knowing what a takeaway is.