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Original poster

Woke up and there was no milk. I lost the plot.

363 replies

steppemum · 09/02/2021 11:34

Just that really.
Bit of a last straw moment.

Ds is 18, his gf is also living here during lockdown, they tend to come downstairs at 2 am and have meals.
Last night they had cereal, and used up all the milk.
Shopping arrived this morning at 10 am, so we just needed enough milk for my morning tea. I get up at 6:30. He usually surfaces at 10-11 am.

I was furious. I acknowledge unreasonably so. So at 8am I went up and told him to get up and go to the shop and buy milk. I might have shouted. He said no, calm down mum, it's only milk, which obviously made it much better Hmm
dd2 then got up and went ot the shop for milk, in order to restore calm!

not sure why I am posting really, just fed up of holding it all together, and the bloody selfishness of teenagers.

yes they do help around the house etc etc. as does dh.

Just -
lockdown
home schooling
no head space
no me time
no coffee with friends
bloody meals, just bloody meals and shopping, x 6 x 3 times a day (and I don't do all the cooking and they get their own breakfast etc, but still somehow it is such a production line)

rant over, thanks for listening.

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 09/02/2021 11:41

Omg that boils my blood on your behalf - if my ds and gf used all the milk so that I the person that is working and paying for said milk told me to calm down - I would have told him and her they had 2 choices - 1 respect me and the fact I provide a roof and food and don’t use up all of an item without a plan to replace it before it inconveniences me or 2 fuck off to another house and see how they like that .

Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 11:46

well, yes, some of that may have been said.

OP posts:
Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 11:51

and I got - Why are you so angry Mum, it's just milk.

and - you are up and dressed, why can't you go and get milk?
(apart from why should I? - I was on my way out to walk the dog, followed by going to pick up something followed by sorting and unpacking shopping, follwed by a full days work, and he was still in bed)

I realise as I write that I am still cross. An hour stomping over the fields with the dog has not helped.

OP posts:

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18 years old Families
PomegranatePip · 09/02/2021 11:52

OP, for this very reason (non-thinking family members) I have 4 cartons minimum of moo milk UHT (best UHT IMO) put away where others wouldn't think to look- under the sink/ in the shed- It means I will always get a coffee in the mornings.

Sending sympathies because it is infuriating

Raindough · 09/02/2021 11:54

His girlfriend lives with you?? For an 18 year old he has a very cushy life

Raindough · 09/02/2021 11:55

I think it was mean of you to let your daughter go to the shop for milk when you had a delivery en route - it wasn’t her fault.

mogloveseggs · 09/02/2021 12:00

Mine are younger but know not to use the last of the milk now after seeing me without a brew in the morning Grin

JimmyTheBrave · 09/02/2021 12:01

I think it's a bit over to top to suggest OP is 'mean to let' her DD go to the shop. Presumably her DD offered because she understands that small things like not having a cup of tea when you get up is actually bloody annoying.

I'd be really pissed off too. A cup of tea (with milk) when I get up in the morning is essential for me.

pickingdaisies · 09/02/2021 12:02

OP if this was aibu it would be unanimous. Sometimes the only reasonable action is to be unreasonable. When you've eventually simmered down (and I bloody hate it when the perpetrator of the outrage tells me to calm down) have a Chat with him. Tell him coldly and calmly what you've told us, and how you are feeling. Leaving enough milk for the early risers is a minimum level of respect he needs to show if he wants his cosy life to continue.

mcmooberry · 09/02/2021 12:06

I would have done the same, could not have been all Zen about that!
Don't feel bad (if you do) - they will know not to do it ever again!

Frauhubert · 09/02/2021 12:08

I woke up to the same scenario last week. No milk in the fridge because dh used it all up for his multiple teas the day before. He knows so well that i have my morning coffee at 6am and it’s my sacred time of the day. Just me and the coffee. Given that he has his last cup at around 4pm, he had the whole afternoon and evening to go to the shop. No, too lazy

Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 12:09

@Raindough

I think it was mean of you to let your daughter go to the shop for milk when you had a delivery en route - it wasn’t her fault.
oh she volunteered and was quite happy to go, as she wanted a hot chocolate before school started. i actually would have preferred that she didn't go and that ds got out of bed and went, but that wasn't going to happen.
OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 09/02/2021 12:10

I’ve been known to send DS out into the howling darkness facing wolves and goblins to replace essential items he’s used.
The thought of no milk for my morning tea would send both of mine scuttling,
I have very few requirements and am very accommodating, but two mugs of tea in the morning are essential. If someone is being a thoughtless arse, it needs pointing out and they need to remedy the problem.

Chewbecca · 09/02/2021 12:10

I also have long life emergency supplies which noone else in the house would think to look for.

YANBU & hopefully your DS (& his GF) will see that soon & offer some compensating action.

In the meantime, DD's favourite meal tonight to thank her?

When your anger has subsided and you can have a calm conversation, I would also suggest setting a rota for cooking dinner so they do it for everyone once a week.

babybabyMilkno · 09/02/2021 12:11

You shouldn’t have to do this but if you’re living with selfish people it might help. Get a plastic ice cube freezer bag use the bottom row only for milk ice cubes and hide under stuff in the freezer and 1 cube is enough for a cup of tea x

LudoTrouble · 09/02/2021 12:11

I get disproportionately furious if I don't have milk for my coffee in the morning. Furious.

If I have to get up at the crack of dawn day in day out to run this circus then the least they can do is not use up all the milk before making sure there's some for the morning.

Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 12:12

@Raindough

His girlfriend lives with you?? For an 18 year old he has a very cushy life
yes it is at the moment.

I was a lockdown compromise. She is living here so that keep to the rules. He offered to go and live at hers, but I said no way, as he is actually in A level year and I need to keep some sort of an eye on what he is doing school wise. She is paying towards food etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 12:12

@ArmchairTraveller

I’ve been known to send DS out into the howling darkness facing wolves and goblins to replace essential items he’s used. The thought of no milk for my morning tea would send both of mine scuttling, I have very few requirements and am very accommodating, but two mugs of tea in the morning are essential. If someone is being a thoughtless arse, it needs pointing out and they need to remedy the problem.
Grin
OP posts:
Santaiscovidfree · 09/02/2021 12:13

You need to hide that milk. Cfer can go get some if they want some..

Globe22 · 09/02/2021 12:13

I would be very cross about it too. The first cup of tea in the morning is the best of all, I'd be a bit pissed off if someone used all the milk.

MerryChristmasToYou · 09/02/2021 12:14

Ds is 18, his gf is also living here during lockdown, they tend to come downstairs at 2 am and have meals.
Last night they had cereal, and used up all the milk.
Thoughtless and selfish.

I was furious. I acknowledge unreasonably so. So at 8am I went up and told him to get up and go to the shop and buy milk. I might have shouted. He said no, calm down mum, it's only milk, which obviously made it much better hmm
I would have been furious too.

dd2 then got up and went ot the shop for milk, in order to restore calm!

Imagine if it had been DD1 who had used up the milk and DS2 had gone to fetch some.

It doesn't happen like that though, does it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/02/2021 12:15

YANBU
I’m reading that perhaps he sees you as a resource. In that case, I’d be telling him the open invitation to gf can easily be rescinded if he and gf cannot be more considerate of the person feeding and looking after him.

Does he do any work around the house? Does he pull his weight? It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate and he's dossing around. I’m with Armchair. He does this once and you underreact, he’ll keep on taking the piss.

Triffid1 · 09/02/2021 12:16

I am pleased to see that most people are on your side. I have a rule that there must always be milk for tea in the morning. I have lived with people in the past who think this is unreasonable. I am no longer friends with any of those people.

We all have our lines in the sand, this is a perfectly reasonable one as far as I'm concerned. Particularly in your own house.

Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 12:17

Oh you are all making me feel better.

He and gf cook once a week, dh also cooks. I also increased the chores they all do as they are not travelling to school. So they do usually do their bit.

dd isn't getting favourite dinner, she just went to the shop for some milk! Honestly, it isn't a big deal.
In non Covid times, I often send someone to the corner shop. They are all happy to go, juxt not at 8am when I have woken him up.
For that matter I could have gone at 7am, but as a matter of principle, in my tea-less fury, I decided that ds needed to be woken up to join my early morning misery.

OP posts:
Chambored · 09/02/2021 12:17

You were perfectly within your rights to lose the plot. Totally unacceptable for people to use the last of the milk and not replace it, and the “calm down, it’s only milk” would have had me raging further.
I think you’re going to have to speak to them both, when they eventually surface, about usage / replacing certain items.