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Original poster

Woke up and there was no milk. I lost the plot.

363 replies

steppemum · 09/02/2021 11:34

Just that really.
Bit of a last straw moment.

Ds is 18, his gf is also living here during lockdown, they tend to come downstairs at 2 am and have meals.
Last night they had cereal, and used up all the milk.
Shopping arrived this morning at 10 am, so we just needed enough milk for my morning tea. I get up at 6:30. He usually surfaces at 10-11 am.

I was furious. I acknowledge unreasonably so. So at 8am I went up and told him to get up and go to the shop and buy milk. I might have shouted. He said no, calm down mum, it's only milk, which obviously made it much better Hmm
dd2 then got up and went ot the shop for milk, in order to restore calm!

not sure why I am posting really, just fed up of holding it all together, and the bloody selfishness of teenagers.

yes they do help around the house etc etc. as does dh.

Just -
lockdown
home schooling
no head space
no me time
no coffee with friends
bloody meals, just bloody meals and shopping, x 6 x 3 times a day (and I don't do all the cooking and they get their own breakfast etc, but still somehow it is such a production line)

rant over, thanks for listening.

OP posts:
nancywhitehead · 09/02/2021 13:02

You've made it very clear here how much you depend on your morning cup of tea (I'm the same!) Have you explained this to your son and his gf very clearly? And did they know this before they used up all of the milk? Do you think they thought of it?

At 18 I know he's legally an adult but he's still in his teenage brain. He's not necessarily going to think of this unless you are very clear with him about what you need.

Really you just needed a drop of milk leaving in the bottom for your morning tea. They probably would have left it for you if they knew. Maybe leave a note on the fridge saying to please make sure there's always a drop of milk left for your morning tea.

Also, buy some long life milk to have in just in case.

BeakyWinder · 09/02/2021 13:02

YANBU! No milk for a morning brew is the worst.. especially when hungry hippos have gobbled it all up in the middle of the night!

ServeTheServants · 09/02/2021 13:02

I don’t function without my morning coffee, so I would have lost the plot too. Just the sheer lack of consideration in the circumstances would have tipped me over the edge, let alone the fact I would have been experiencing caffeine withdrawal symptoms 😂

Interested in this thread?

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18 years old Families
AmelieTaylor · 09/02/2021 13:03

My only question is, why did you wait until 8 to wake him up?

Leaving enough milk for your tea wouldn't have even made a difference to what they had in the middle of the night.

But they wouldn't be doing that here because I sleep lightly, very lightly and waking me up to be a selfish twat in the middle of the night wouldn't happen!

Does it not bother you that they're doing this? It's weird & unnecessary!

As for 'calm down'. Just no, that would have sent me into orbit. Would he have said that to his Dad?

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 09/02/2021 13:04

This would really piss me off too OP and as pp have said it's not about the milk, it is a combo of lots of things including life being hard at the moment and you don't need petty shit like this to male it harder

Comefromaway · 09/02/2021 13:04

YANBU

My kids (now aged 17 & 19) have known for years that no matter what you always leave enough milk for mum's morning cup of tea or life will not be worth living. It's become running joke. I do not function without my first morning cup of tea. I've known dh walk to the petrol station late at night or at the crack of dawn (he cant drive) to make sure there is milk in for me.

Brefugee · 09/02/2021 13:06

Tell gf to leave and take your DS with her? they can be ungrateful selfish fuckers elsewhere?

Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 13:07

[quote PrincessBuggerPants]@steppemum that is an explanation as to why your son was up. But why was his girlfriend up at 2am too?

There are some quite poor boundaries here that aren't going to serve either of them well as they move out/get jobs etc.[/quote]
because they are 18 and in LUUURVE, so they are obviously glued to each other, and can't move without each other. (can't see it lasting once he goes off to uni though)

and to the poster who said I should let them move out and be independant, and I should not have any control over his A levels, if they moved into gf house, I am pretty sure he would stop doing lessons.

But here, the deal is, do lessons or she goes home. It is working. I am not ready to lose that yet, first lockdown was horrendous for him, and we helped him to get back on track and he very much still did need parental support. He has grown up a lot in the last year, and I am sure he will be fine once he goes off to uni, but he still does need some pushing, and some support.

And, as I've said to him, get A levels now. You can always put off uni/do something different, but it is really hard to go back and re-do A levels. He is nearly there, just a few more months.

And they don't bash around making food. My bedroom is over the kicthen, one night they woke me up, doors banging etc. They've never done it again, after I had a word. They are very quiet.

OP posts:
Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 13:07

@nancywhitehead

You've made it very clear here how much you depend on your morning cup of tea (I'm the same!) Have you explained this to your son and his gf very clearly? And did they know this before they used up all of the milk? Do you think they thought of it?

At 18 I know he's legally an adult but he's still in his teenage brain. He's not necessarily going to think of this unless you are very clear with him about what you need.

Really you just needed a drop of milk leaving in the bottom for your morning tea. They probably would have left it for you if they knew. Maybe leave a note on the fridge saying to please make sure there's always a drop of milk left for your morning tea.

Also, buy some long life milk to have in just in case.

They know.

and if they didn't, they do now......

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 09/02/2021 13:07

I like all the Couldn't you wait till 10 comments! Hell no! That's three (3!!) hours just for the shopping to turn up, then you have to put perishables in the fridge, and only then can you make your tea. That is NOT reasonable when it could have been avoided.
OP I am delighted that the reality of the situation has percolated through to his brain. Did he have a sheepish expression? My DH does this when the penny finally drops. (He finished the half bar of galaxy I'd been saving once, having already eaten his. He tried to pretend it was fair game, he hasn't done that again 😁)

kindlyensure · 09/02/2021 13:08

Oh I really sympathise.

The milkman didn't come yesterday because of the snow and we are rural so no shop nearby to walk to. I had half a pint of milk left and the DCs were under pain of death NOT to drain it dry so I had enough for my cuppa this morning.

To give them their due, they have been eeking out the (bleugh) pint of long-life Soya milk I found in the cupboard.

I am not usually an advocate for losing the plot, but in this case I think you were entirely justified.

jessycake · 09/02/2021 13:08

Sometimes its just the straw that breaks the camels back isn't it , I am finding this at the moment an endless stream of drinks, meals , washing up for which no one seems grateful.

Notcontent · 09/02/2021 13:10

@Nancylovesthecock

He offered to go and live at hers, but I said no way, as he is actually in A level year and I need to keep some sort of an eye on what he is doing school wise.

No you don't, he is 18. He knows what he needs to do for his a-levels.

Time for them to relocate and share the load with her parents methinks.

I know this is not the point of the thread, but I think the OP is being very sensible and it sounds like the milk incident aside, it’s working out ok. Being the mother of a younger teen, I know I will do anything to keep her at home and focused on her education.
AmelieTaylor · 09/02/2021 13:11

X posted with your post about DS's nocturnal habits

You can't make him sleep, but you can tell him that after a set time he stays in his room not banging about in the kitchen (if it bothers you - it might not).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/02/2021 13:11

@Berthatydfil

Omg that boils my blood on your behalf - if my ds and gf used all the milk so that I the person that is working and paying for said milk told me to calm down - I would have told him and her they had 2 choices - 1 respect me and the fact I provide a roof and food and don’t use up all of an item without a plan to replace it before it inconveniences me or 2 fuck off to another house and see how they like that .
Definitely. Your son was always bloody rude to you, OP. I would be having a conversation about that.

The pair of them; so inconsiderate towards you and the rest of the family. Urgh.

diddl · 09/02/2021 13:12

It's the not thinking of other people, isn't it?

How difficult would it have been to have saved a teasworth of milk?

He really should have fetched the milk-he should have wanted to.

Instead the sister goes to keep the peace!

Xerochrysum · 09/02/2021 13:13

Meh, this is none issue for me. Everyone's on the edge, kind of scary, tbh, if this was serious.

AdoraBell · 09/02/2021 13:14

Sounds like my DD, especially on the chocolate front.

Well done for making your point 👍

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/02/2021 13:14

@PomegranatePip

OP, for this very reason (non-thinking family members) I have 4 cartons minimum of moo milk UHT (best UHT IMO) put away where others wouldn't think to look- under the sink/ in the shed- It means I will always get a coffee in the mornings.

Sending sympathies because it is infuriating

I think that this is irrelevant; why should OP have lesser milk that she doesn't want to drink? That UHT milk is rank (to me) but I might buy it and would direct son and girlfriend to it for their midnight feasts. Not the cows milk that I would want to have available.
Original poster
steppemum · 09/02/2021 13:14

@AmelieTaylor

X posted with your post about DS's nocturnal habits

You can't make him sleep, but you can tell him that after a set time he stays in his room not banging about in the kitchen (if it bothers you - it might not).

They are very quiet at night. They know that house must be quietish after 9:30 as dd2 is in bed, and almpst silent after we go to bed. Including no showers as that wakes dd1 up.

They are really good at being quiet to be fair.

OP posts:
Tubs11 · 09/02/2021 13:14

I would have lost it too, BUT I have a sneaky mini frozen milk in the freezer for this very reason. Either that or UHT is your friend

MerryChristmasToYou · 09/02/2021 13:15

@Dyrne

Am I the only one who thinks this is absolutely batshit?

The girlfriend contributes towards food bills. Why does your desire to have milk trump hers?

And you honestly sent someone out during a global pandemic for a completely non essential item that would have been replaced in 2 hours’ time anyway?

@Dyme, DS and his GF ate cereal at 2 a.m. That's the batshit bit.
viques · 09/02/2021 13:15

@Feedingthebirds1

Before you go to bed tonight, get a box of some sort and put all the milk in it - outside the back door. It'll be colder than the fridge out there so won't spoil.

When he complains in the morning that there wasn't any at 2.00am, tell him to calm down, it's only milk.

(Petty, but satisfying!)

I was going to suggest you give them their own carton of milk to hang out of their window.......... it’s cold enough to freeze it too, which would make me smile.
MrsBerthaRochester · 09/02/2021 13:15

You let your daughter go to the shop?! Rather than drag your last,entitled son out to f bed?! Way to teach both of them that women will always pick up the slack for useless men. It sounds to me that your son has you all right under her s thumb. Are you going to accompany him to uni to make sure he gets his s last ass out if bed?

AmelieTaylor · 09/02/2021 13:16

X posted with you again about not being bothered by them in the kitchen at night.

FWIW, I totally understand why you have the gf there & are on top of his education. If more parents were, it would be a good thing.

Being 18 doesn't actually make them self driven!