Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Hidden phone

239 replies

wrigglewriggles · 02/02/2021 19:18

Possible reasons for my ex (who I unfortunately still have to live with) to be hiding a phone in my car?

OP posts:
CisMyArse · 19/02/2021 20:21

@wrigglewriggles

All moving a bit slow for my liking on the police side of things. He's being overly nice, doing all I have been asking of him for the past 9 years. He made me breakfast yesterday, bought flowers and chocolates. It's all manipulative game play. He never did anything for Valentines. When he's like this I start second guessing myself about involving the police. Have to keep reminding myself that he can't keep the nice guy act up for long. He'll be back to swearing at me by the end of the week.
That's why he's doing it. Maybe he's aware that you're on to him and he's ramping up the charm offensive.

Can you be sure that he hasn't put a key logger on your devices?

Original poster
wrigglewriggles · 19/02/2021 21:15

Can you be sure that he hasn't put a key logger on your devices?

Pretty sure. I'm careful with these. Phone is always with me. He has no opportunity to get to it.

OP posts:
CisMyArse · 19/02/2021 23:17

I'm very glad of that. What about other devices you may have in the house?

RandomMess · 20/02/2021 11:26

If it's your own bedroom why can't you have a good hunt when you go to bed or in the morning? Don't you spend time in there?

RandomMess · 20/02/2021 11:26

Do you have a lock on it? Perhaps time to fit one!

Original poster
wrigglewriggles · 20/02/2021 12:35

@randomMess
If it's your own bedroom why can't you have a good hunt when you go to bed or in the morning? Don't you spend time in there?

Co-sleeping with a light sleeper would be the answer to this. Also having all children home means finding time, solo, to have a propped hunt is limited. Had a quick look yesterday while rearranging things but I'm mindful that he's always here ... I need to be careful. I don't want him to suspect I know as I don't know how he'll react. He's been violent before and I'd rather not be on the receiving end of that again.

He won't be hearing anything other than my chatter with the children anyway. Any calls I make are done away from the house and the car.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/02/2021 12:37
Thanks
CisMyArse · 20/02/2021 13:54

@wrigglewriggles whatever nonsense he's playing at, the 'evidence' he gathers will soon proof that he has nothing to gain.

Is he hoping to hear you giving your children a row or something? To proof that you're unstable or something along the same grasping at straw lines?

Has he ever threatened you re custody?

Original poster
wrigglewriggles · 20/02/2021 18:26

@CisMyArse
I don't think you are too far off the mark with your suggestions. He's never threatened me with 'custody' but it wouldn't surprise me if all this is, in part at least, some warped plan to discredit me.

OP posts:
CisMyArse · 20/02/2021 18:53

I wouldn't put it past him.
A man that can do what he did to you, then deny it, is capable of all sorts of shit.

I'm really worried for you OP.

CisMyArse · 20/02/2021 18:53

*excuse my poor spelling in my posts 🙈

InsaneLockdowner · 20/02/2021 20:54

There is a saying. Sometimes you need to.play the fool to fool the fool who thinks they're fooling you.

That's exactly what your doing and in your circumstances probably the best way to play it for now.

You know Yr being tracked and monitored which is unpleasant but you know enough to know you can't have any private conversations or go anywhere to raise his suspicions. Let him think he's onto a chance of getting one over in you for now.
Better you know what's what, than outing him and him doing something else to track and record you.
As for your bedroom. Behave in there as if your being tracked and recorded too until you know for sure.
Please keep safe.

Lostinwinter · 20/02/2021 21:48

Please be careful OP, he has strangled you before. He could easily decide to drink. Men like him are at their most dangerous when they lose control.

Crookairroad · 20/02/2021 22:23

Please be careful OP.

toocold54 · 20/02/2021 23:00

Have been told not to move the phone or confront him.

I completely agree and as you say he may find another way to track you that you’re not aware of.

I would still be very careful about what he is doing. I know you can track people’s phones but I’m not sure how you do this. As a PP said he is trying to get proof of something.

ThorsMistress · 21/02/2021 00:00

OP just please be careful.

If the police are taking their time go back and speak to them again!

UglyHoose · 21/02/2021 09:22

Another one coming in to say please be careful OP.

He is clearly a dangerous man.

Delete your browsing history / use private browsing but also beware he may install a key logger etc

Thanks
BunnyRuddington · 21/02/2021 11:35

I've been following your thread although I haven't commented on it before. I think you're being super sensible OP. He's clearly a very dangerous man.

AngelDelightUK · 21/02/2021 16:09

I think you should go back to the police. If you’ve got evidence that he’s listening to you then they may be able to act. Or you can at least talk it through with them

CisMyArse · 21/02/2021 16:27

Your primary means of getting rid is to get the house sold.

What's the hold up OP? Can it be moved forward?

Original poster
wrigglewriggles · 27/02/2021 14:23

For those might be interested.

The police now have the phone.
They think they have enough evidence to charge him.

He talked to me about it the other day. Said he was tracking me as he wanted to know if it was worth putting in the effort to us trying again... Hmm Have made it perfectly clear that there is no way in hell we would ever be together again. We were done before but this has put the nail in the coffin.

He's sorry but I'm not sure if that's an "I'm sorry, I know what I did was wrong" Or, a "I'm sorry because you found out and now I'm in deep shit!"

Thank you to all who offered good advice and helped me to stay calm and not do something stupid.

OP posts:
saffire · 27/02/2021 14:24

Go to the police.

Inaseagull · 27/02/2021 19:01

I think there are lots of us who are interested and concerned for you, we don't comment, maybe because someone else said it or we are lurkers.

He's sorry because he's been caught and his excuse is bullshit.

I wonder if his offence could be cause to have him removed from the house (ie. recommended by the police) How is the sale progressing? Do you feel safe?

I think now that the police are involved, hopefully he will be less likely to try anything stupid (unless he is a total psychopath).

Please keep posting if you feel getting it all out helps.

RandomMess · 27/02/2021 22:02

Ha ha ha

Yep he is sorry he got caught and is grasping at straws so you will tell the police that you've made a mistake!

I hope this is enough to get him out of the house.

rainbowstardrops · 28/02/2021 09:34

I've been checking in regularly to see how you're getting on and I'm really pleased that the police now have the phone!
I agree, he's just sorry he got caught. Creepy little man.

Swipe left for the next trending thread