I am really surprised that there isn't more sympathy for her on here. Admittedly, before all of this blew up, I didn't know who she was but recognised him as the Hornblower actor.
I really feel for her. And I think she's been really brave speaking up. She's obviously distraught about the end of the marriage, but it's not that that she has been protesting about, it's the fact that he allegedly "employed the script" and told her it was down to her why it ended and there allegedly wasn't anyone else involved or on the horizon. I thought Mumsnet of all places would be very sympathetic to that.
And yes while I agree it's not great for the DC, neither is their father leaving. If you are an actor working on set for months every time, there is no such thing as EOW.
I think she is brave to have spoken up because there is so much emphasis on "keeping your dignity" and not saying anything, that it allows blokes to play these games (if he has - I don't know much about them tbh - but if what she is alleging is true - I mean this as a more general point, not necessarily about this former couple) and many men get away with murder because no one has the balls to say anything, except on threads on the relationship boards here!
Yes it takes two people to break up a marriage, there is usually fault on both sides, but how you do it is really important. Surely you owe a spouse of twenty years , and your DC, honesty and integrity?