How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

[Cleaneatingisawesome]

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

@MagicSummer but presumably you don’t, in fact, have children?

Once you decide to become a parent you step up and do what needs to be done.

Agree with the above - they get worse as they get older and a nappy is nothing compared to soiled pants or cleaning a plastic potty when training.

I would encourage him to find ways to cope such as wearing a scarf with a strong aftershave on to mask the smell.

And tell him women who are pregnant again and struggling with morning sickness have done this since the beginning of time - and sometimes you just have to do it and then vomit.

Pass out Do you manage to not pass out? There’s your answer! It’s not pleasant. But you suck it up, he needs to do the same. Not sure why you have pandered to him and let this become a thing

You see the full extent of the problem here, OP? You’re being got out of bed during a lie-in on a regular basis because Mr Precious can’t handle baby shit, AND you’re trotting about changing all nappies AND you’re the one worrying about him passing out (?) AND the one posting concerned posts on the internet in apparent seriousness for ‘tips’ to help him get past his nappy aversion — and Mr Precious just laughs. He’s got you exactly where he wants you, all worried about his capacity to manage to do basic parenting tasks for his own baby.

@MagicSummer completely agree..I feel the same about dog shit. It turns my stomach.

So, we don't have a dog.

You see where I'm going?

@MagicSummer

I don't blame him! One of the many reasons why I never wanted to have children.

Which is fine but if you choose to have a baby you'd presumably change your stance and change their nappies. What you wouldn't do is plead ignorance and leave it all to your partner.

Tell him to get a grip he is taking the piss out of you!

You know what I’m gagging over his pathetic behaviour. Nothing more unattractive than a man child

You must have the patience of a saint to tolerate this bullshit. Everyone shits, does he gag and gip wiping his own arse?

Hand him a grip and tell him to get on with it.

I couldn’t be remotely attracted to anyone so pathetic and lazy.

Tell him to man the fuck up!

I've literally changed hundreds when I worked with children. Never passed out yet.

Dear me, what a man child. My DH struggled with nappies. However as I’d had a dreadful birth - canulas in both hands, both had been moved so they were both sore, epidural took far longer than normal to fully wear off & I’d had massive blood loss so was very wobbly, plus loads of stitches so walking, standing or sitting up was a trial - so he did all the nappies for several days. Including the horrible meconium ones.

He still struggles with some stuff. Putting the bin bag out if it’s hot weather, for example. More than once he’s come back for the hosepipe because he’s been sick due to the smell. But he gets on with it, like an adult.

"He also sometimes looks after him for hours in the evening after work so that I can have a break."

Wow. Go him!

Stop running to his aid.

I’d also tell him you need a serious conversation about who will look after your child if you die or become disabled, as he’s not able to. Not good enough if he says he will have to deal with it at the time, you need to see him doing it now, or how can you be sure your child will be looked after properly if you do die?

DH was like this with breastfed poo.

However when both DC were weaned he could cope with the poo just fine!

He laughed. Not such a great person after all then eh? Because he's got you to swoop in and rescue him so he doesn't have to do the unpleasant stuff! Time to stop rescuing him op.

He is NOT a wonderful father. Leaving a child in dirty nappies is neglect. And he thinks its funny.

How can you want to be with him? Just disgusting and pathetic.

I'll be honest, I'm a pregnant woman and the nappy thing has been praying on my mind because I've never ever changed one and I was like I'll get some pegs and some gloves and do it that way, I wasn't thinking of ways not to do them but now I realise how utterly ridiculous I was being of course no one likes to change a dirty nappy, I'd be very concerned if they did but being a parent means having the shitty jobs quite literally and you do it because you love them and don't want them to be uncomfortable. Tell your DP he's got away with it for six months and from now on he will be doing dirty nappies, if he needs a peg and gloves fine but he will be doing them and like a PP has said if he refuses then he isn't a wonderful father at all but he's actually quite neglectful and I'd be reconsidering my relationship with him.

Never bothered me with my own kids but did on the odd occasion I had to change someone else's!

@HarleyQuinn21honestly don't sweat it. It will soon become second nature and then they start wriggling - that's when increased nappy changes, the shit was the least of my worries it was how to pin the toddler down!

I gag a lot if my children are sick, it's awful and I dread dealing with it, I have to be equipped (rubber gloves, put paper towels on it so I can't see it, and move it quickly). You know what, I have to do it anyway! I'm a single parent, I can't leave vomit or cat sick on the floor or car or whatever, so I crack on and then spray a lot of cover-up spray/Fabreze all over the offending area for weeks.

Part of being a parent, it just is. Gagging isn't nice but it doesn't prevent you getting on with the job.

What a manchild. He’s really taking the piss out of you, he’s created a problem and got you thinking you need to fix it when this is for him to fix.

You genuinely worry that he might pass out? No you don’t. That’s a lie. You know fine he won’t pass out...why would he? You have given yourself away saying that. You’re making excuses.

If you choose to pander to this it’s up to you. My dh has a poo aversion and we had all the coughing and gagging too. It didn’t occur to me to relieve him of the task, I thought he should get a grip. I left him to it and over time he got used to it...developed his own coping strategies.
He’s still pathetic about poo today...our three are much older now. Ah well. His issue.

I know some people are more sensitive to smells than others, but if he really wanted to solve this one he would think around the problem for a solution (and not leave you to ask on MN).

This, with knobs on. Plenty of women are sick and feel faint for various reasons, but very few women leave their children in their faeces and vomit. They think around the situation and come up with solutions, solutions to mitigate the risk of throwing up or passing up, and solutions to make sure the baby is not at risk if they should do so. That is being a good parent: assuming that the responsibility is yours and making plans for dealing with it. At the moment, your partner isn't even doing the job you'd expect of a teenage baby-sitter.