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Original poster

How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

407 replies

Cleaneatingisawesome · 24/01/2021 09:49

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

OP posts:
Arobase · 24/01/2021 10:27

@NoGoodPunsLeft

DH was like this, he either put loo roll up his nose or pulled his t shirt up to cover his nose & mouth. He would never have woken me up to change a pooey nappy 😱
Good tactic. He could also put a bit of vicks or aftershave on his shirt.
Shadysback · 24/01/2021 10:29

I think you need to take over all the nappy changes. Everyone knows women are genetically programmed to love the smell of baby poo. It is very unfair of you to expect a man to do what is clearly a woman's job!

Or you could tell him to get a grip, and deal with it like every other decent parent has to.

Original poster
Cleaneatingisawesome · 24/01/2021 10:30

We've started giving our baby solid food since Wednesday.
I said he's a wonderful dad as he's very caring and loving with our son otherwise. He also sometimes looks after him for hours in the evening after work so that I can have a break.

I understand what you're all saying. Changing nappies is part of being a parent. I suppose I always rush to his aid because I genuinely worry that he might pass out and our son would be in danger then.

I told him that I asked for advice on mumsnet and read some of the replies to him. He just laughed and thought it was funny :(

I suppose I kind of have to force him to do it in future.

OP posts:

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HermioneWeasley · 24/01/2021 10:31

Your expectations are waaaaay too low

Him being a parent in the evening isn’t “wonderful” - it’s the minimum you should expect

SmileyClare · 24/01/2021 10:33

Doesn't everyone have an aversion to dirty nappies

Quite. No one likes doing it. Keeping a baby clean is a very basic parenting skill. How disappointing that he refuses to do that.

VettiyaIruken · 24/01/2021 10:34

None of us inhale deeply and dab some on our wrists and behind our ears.

He needs to sack up.

If he's making such a song and dance about it then he should put some vics under his nose, tissue up his nose, etc and crack on with it.

He needs to do more nappy changes until he's used to it.

Arobase · 24/01/2021 10:34

Suggest to him that he thinks of something yummy if he starts to gag, it seems to stop the reflex. Well, it works for me when I'm taking pills.

SmileyClare · 24/01/2021 10:35

He won't pass out Confused

Jesus what would be do if an adult farted in a lift or he had to clean dog shit off the buggy wheels or something?

Same4Walls · 24/01/2021 10:35

@HermioneWeasley

Your expectations are waaaaay too low

Him being a parent in the evening isn’t “wonderful” - it’s the minimum you should expect

Absolutely! I'm always staggered when I read about these amazing parents who in reality actually do very little parenting.

Raise your standards and stop being a doormat. He wont pass out from cleaning a dirty nappy ffs.

Providora · 24/01/2021 10:36

Oh come on, the lazy twat isn't going to pass out.

Ignore his histrionics and leave him to get on with it!

Arobase · 24/01/2021 10:36

I understand what you're all saying. Changing nappies is part of being a parent. I suppose I always rush to his aid because I genuinely worry that he might pass out and our son would be in danger then.

Give him some practice with you in the room or within reach if he does faint, but make it clear that you aren't taking over in any other circumstances.

Calling you for help even when you're asleep is really the act of a bit of an arsehole.

VettiyaIruken · 24/01/2021 10:36

Sometimes looks after his child so you can work? That's wonderful to you? That's the very least a parent can do, look after their own child while their partner is at work you do it day in day out - does that make you a wonderful mother? Or just a parent doing what a parent does?

SmileyClare · 24/01/2021 10:37

suggest to him that he thinks of something yummy Grin maybe peanut butter or scrambled egg?

OhToBeASeahorse · 24/01/2021 10:37

Pass out? Because of a baby poo?

Fuck me. What if you (god forbid) broke your arm tomorrow?
How does he deal with his own shit?

And - sorry - he LAUGHED at you? That's not ok. He is taking the piss.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 10:37

Tell him to grow the fuck up and get on with it like we all did.

He's not a wonderful father if he's being such a child about something so basic.

MsOgyny · 24/01/2021 10:37

He thinks it's funny?

Well there's your answer about what he thinks of you and your son. If he was genuinely a good father, he'd feel bad about always leaving it to you, or leaving your son dirty until you do the nappy, he'd be trying to find solutions and would be listening to advice. If he's laughing, then he's laughing at you for being a mug who'll do it all for him.

People with genuine problems don't laugh at genuine solutions.

Wishitsnows · 24/01/2021 10:38

The more he does it the more he will get used to it. Don't step in and help him. Him playing with the baby is his job too. He should be doing this. I hope you don't thank him for giving you a break.

SimonJT · 24/01/2021 10:39

@Arobase

Suggest to him that he thinks of something yummy if he starts to gag, it seems to stop the reflex. Well, it works for me when I'm taking pills.
Then you just associate the previously nice thing with a toddler covered in shit.
ineedaholidaynow · 24/01/2021 10:39

If he works during the week, tell him he is on nappy duty at the weekend.

Goodbye2020Hello2021 · 24/01/2021 10:39

I told him that I asked for advice on mumsnet and read some of the replies to him. He just laughed and thought it was funny sad

He knows he doesn’t have to do anything about it doesn’t he?
You’ve got 2 children OP.

OrangePlumGrape · 24/01/2021 10:41

Well do you really enjoy changing pooey nappies op? Or do you just get on with it because you’re an adult and your son needs you for his health and personal needs to step up and get over yourself? It would be neglectful and very unpleasant for your dc if your dh left him in a dirty nappy all day if you weren’t there, do you believe he wouldn’t change him if that happened?

Chalkcheese · 24/01/2021 10:41

Give him a plastic clothes peg for his nose?

Stompythedinosaur · 24/01/2021 10:42

Oh come on, the lazy twat isn't going to pass out.

Grin

Providora has captured my feelings on the subject very eloquently!

GabsAlot · 24/01/2021 10:42

ah bless can he not stand smells

dont have kids then

and whats funny about it

TerribleCustomerCervix · 24/01/2021 10:42

This reminds me of when DC1 was born and I was really squeamish about changing shitty nappies.

I was moaning about doing one when she was about a week old, faffing about ineffectively with a baby wipe when DH just lost his seemingly never ending patience with me and went “Terrible, you need to realise at some point YOU WILL GET SHIT ON YOUR HAND and it’ll be ok!”

He was right, and other posters are correct that the only way to get past it is desensitisation therapy. So he should be doing them all for the foreseeable.