Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

407 replies

Cleaneatingisawesome · 24/01/2021 09:49

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 24/01/2021 11:14

I genuinely worry that he might pass out and my son would be in danger then
So you have health anxiety then?

It is not common for a person to pass out when gagging / vomiting.

It sounds as if you’re massively part of the problem.

AllegedlyChaos · 24/01/2021 11:15

Are you married to Jacob Rees Mogg? He is also very special, in a very special way.
I personally have a vagina and this gives me special powers to do many things, like changing nappies, knowing when said nappies need changing, cooking, cleaning and various other miraculous tasks.

MustardMitt · 24/01/2021 11:16

You're worried he might pass out?! Is he normally so pathetic that this is a worry?

I'm sorry this is going to sound harsh - but seriously, get a grip and STOP treating him like he's made of bone china. He's not doing you any massive favours by looking after his own child after work, and you don't have to reciprocate by changing shitty nappies for him.

He needs to grow up and you need to increase your self esteem. I mean that seriously.

He sounds like an absolute prince. Go out for a walk today when you feel the baby straining.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families
ElectraBlue · 24/01/2021 11:18

Man up...would be my response.

MustardMitt · 24/01/2021 11:18

@HarleyQuinn21 Just to put your mind at rest a little - I had never changed even a wee nappy until I had my own children. Unless you're a precious little dumpling like OP's partner, honestly it's fine. The smell of milk-fed babies gets you used to when you start weaning them!

PeggyHill · 24/01/2021 11:19

Good grief.

Next time he calls you for help just walk out of the house and don't come back for a few hours.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

He sounds fucking ridiculous.

Backbee · 24/01/2021 11:20

Some people do react more strongly to certain smells than others, but I honestly can't imagine there are many women with the same issue who have done zero shitty nappies. He has to find ways around it, I used to gag sometimes so just pulled my jumper or top up over my nose, it had to be done!

DustyVenetian · 24/01/2021 11:22

Not a wonderful father if he won't change a dirty nappy. What would happen if you felt the same? Or go down sick?

If he's really being a snowflake about this - it is time to strike a deal- you do the poo, he does sick- including picking the chunks out of the carpet, car seat crevices, kids hair? That might make him see it differently...

This is so funny. He is a dick quite honestly.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 24/01/2021 11:22

If only someone would invent some sort of face covering that could go over the nose and mouth so your partner wouldn't have to breathe in the odours. Maybe they could call it a mask. Would also be very handy in global pandemics... Confused

lcdododo · 24/01/2021 11:23

And you chose this man, out of all others, to reproduce with?

PlanDeRaccordement · 24/01/2021 11:25

I do sympathise if his condition is as bad as mine with vomit. If I see or smell vomit, I involuntarily start dry heaving and if anything in my stomach I will vomit as well.
If poo affects him as uncontrollably as vomit affects me, then no amount of bullying or exposure to poo will correct it.
There have been times I’ve had to get on with cleaning vomit covered child and bedding and usually, I take a bucket with me. So I am dry heaving non stop abd pause to vomit as needed until job done.

Ffsnosexallowed · 24/01/2021 11:25

My bil got away with this with his 2 dc and his 3 dgc. If he was with his children on his own and they needed nappies changed he'd drive them to mil's house. He refuses to look after his dgc. He's an arse.

AllTheWayFromLondonDAMN · 24/01/2021 11:25

Honestly OP , you’re a better person than me. I would have laughed in his face the first time he tried this.

pitterpatterrain · 24/01/2021 11:26

Look forward to enjoying all the other excuses that will come about why you have to be the lead on everything DC related

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 11:27

I assume he manages to wipe his own arse and doesn’t call for your help in case he starts gagging and risks passing out? I also assume you’ve been to the loo after him and know he doesn’t shit flowers?

So based on the fact he can manage to clean his own shit, he can clean his child’s.

No one likes it. It’s not like we all think yo! Dirty nappy, what fun. We breathe through our mouths and just get it done.

Ninkanink · 24/01/2021 11:27

@PlanDeRaccordement

I do sympathise if his condition is as bad as mine with vomit. If I see or smell vomit, I involuntarily start dry heaving and if anything in my stomach I will vomit as well. If poo affects him as uncontrollably as vomit affects me, then no amount of bullying or exposure to poo will correct it. There have been times I’ve had to get on with cleaning vomit covered child and bedding and usually, I take a bucket with me. So I am dry heaving non stop abd pause to vomit as needed until job done.
Yes...but you still do it. Because you’re a parent and your child’s wellbeing matters to you.
Honeybobbin · 24/01/2021 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 11:29

@PlanDeRaccordement

I do sympathise if his condition is as bad as mine with vomit. If I see or smell vomit, I involuntarily start dry heaving and if anything in my stomach I will vomit as well. If poo affects him as uncontrollably as vomit affects me, then no amount of bullying or exposure to poo will correct it. There have been times I’ve had to get on with cleaning vomit covered child and bedding and usually, I take a bucket with me. So I am dry heaving non stop abd pause to vomit as needed until job done.
If he cleans his own arse without gagging and passing out, he hasn’t got a poo aversion (what even is that.). He’s just being a snowflake. As said, no one likes it, we just crack on.
littlepattilou · 24/01/2021 11:30

@Cleaneatingisawesome

WOW, how to avoid doing domestic duties involving the baby eh?

Can't stand it my arse. Hmm Doesn't want to do it more like!

Bartlet · 24/01/2021 11:30

A wonderful father but won’t change a dirty nappy or look after his child himself.

Yeah. sounds amazing. It’s tragic how low the bar has been set that women feel that this is acceptable. Wonder what he has done to overcome this issue or whether he is happy faking incompetence knowing that his partner will compensate for his ineptitude.

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/01/2021 11:32

Go for your daily exercise. Plan to be out for ages
Leave your phone at home.

Anon778833 · 24/01/2021 11:32

Yes being a good father means doing things he doesn’t particularly enjoy doing. Parenting is like that.

Ohwhatbliss · 24/01/2021 11:32

It never fails to surprise me just how low some women's expectations of "men" are. That level of pathetic would likely render me incapable of ever wanting to sleep with him again tbh. It's baby poo. My husband gagged a couple of times changing our first babies nappy in the beginning then he manned the fuck up and parented.

3rdNamechange · 24/01/2021 11:33

@Cleaneatingisawesome

We've started giving our baby solid food since Wednesday. I said he's a wonderful dad as he's very caring and loving with our son otherwise. He also sometimes looks after him for hours in the evening after work so that I can have a break.

I understand what you're all saying. Changing nappies is part of being a parent. I suppose I always rush to his aid because I genuinely worry that he might pass out and our son would be in danger then.

I told him that I asked for advice on mumsnet and read some of the replies to him. He just laughed and thought it was funny :(

I suppose I kind of have to force him to do it in future.

He's not giving you a break , he's parenting his own child. He won't pass out.
Cornettoninja · 24/01/2021 11:33

So he finds the fact that he’s too delicate and apparently dim to figure out a way to change a babies nappy funny? Or is he actually laughing at you because he knows you’ll do it?

Honestly OP, think about this on a basic level. Your baby’s father is putting his comfort above his own child’s basic needs as well as your ability to leave your child with him for any length of time. He is not a great father, he’s barely even a passable father if he’s prepared to ignore his own child’s basic needs without trying to resolve it himself. He’s not interested in making any sacrifice or effort.