How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

[Cleaneatingisawesome]

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

I used to gag sometimes too. But because I have a uterus I just got on with it. As the alternative was to leave my child sitting in her own shit.

Tell him it's his responsibility to do the pooey nappy solo every single time until he gets over his aversion.

Here's a tip: Look at doing Elimination Communication. Poo can go straight in the toilet to be flushed.

Otherwise I'd just go out and leave him to it (I know crap time to do that in lockdown in winter)

DDs poo generally isn't that offensive to me, don't know why she's 2 so it's proper poo, but DNieces poo is repulsive and I can't work out if its because she's not mine (and I've not been dealing with it all the time for ages) or it's because she has allergies.

I remember being sick from a few nappy changes, especially when my son had an upset tummy. The worst was when he first came to live with me and he had worms.

I found blocking my nostrils helped, I used to put one of those foam ear plugs in each nostril.

The only way through the aversion is be desensitization.
This means from now on he needs to do every dirty nappy until he is better.
He will thank you for your help in getting over the aversion.

Well I think hoping he'd get over it magically was a bit naive. But as pp's have said it's as simple as just needing to get over it. Just like everyone else does.

Laugh at him?

I always say, in situations like this "and THIS is the reason I cannot afford to die. If I died tomorrow, would you SERIOUSLY be unable to X without me?" (Insert "change his nappy" or whatever).

When put to my husband as a statement that it shows he would be incapable of looking after our children alone if I were to die, he seems to realise actually sometimes we just need to do shit. Literally, in this instance.

Thankfully nappies weren't one of my husband's avoidances, you are truly a patient person to have bailed him out for 6 months already. My husband "honestly never hears" the kids wake up at night. Until I use the "if I died" line, then he suddenly seems able to (for a few weeks, anyway...).

I swear it's laziness on their part. They think it's below them. It's not. Get him to just get on with it like every other parent on the planet has to. He's not more sensitive than other's will be too.

DH was like this, he either put loo roll up his nose or pulled his t shirt up to cover his nose & mouth.
He would never have woken me up to change a pooey nappy 😱

Vick under his nose to disguise the smell, practise by doing more of them.

I agree with this. Every time he avoids doing the thing he fears, it gets more difficult. He needs to fight through, learn that he can do it and does not in fact vomit, and repeat. And repeat.

@SimonJt your poor baby

What a Wally. Clothes peg over his nose? Nobody likes doing it, but you get on with it because it's your duty as a parent!

If he can wipe his own arse, he can change his child's nappy! The more he does it the easier it will become.

Tell him his adversion is not funny or endearing, nobody likes poo and to put on his big girl pants (over his nose if necessary) and get on with it.

Get one of those nose pegs synchronised swimmers wear?
He's got to up his dad game. As pp mentioned, as you wean the baby the poo only gets worse

And he isn't a 'wonderful father'. Why do people always say that on here and then go on to describe swerving a fundamental part of good parenting?

A wonderful father deals with the shit and the piss and the puke and the snot and the lice and the worms and all the other disgusting elements of caring for a child.

And honestly, if he won't deal with the shit of a baby who isn't yet eating solid food, he is never going to deal with the stinky poo a weaned baby produces.

Tell him to grow up! This is his son and he needs to deal with everything that comes with having a child, including dirty nappies!

That is fucking pathetic.

Does he imagine that poo smells like roses to you? Or does he just think that he is such a superior being that his delicate nosey should be placed on a throne of petals while your mundane female nose does twice the work?

@Clymene

And he isn't a 'wonderful father'. Why do people always say that on here and then go on to describe swerving a fundamental part of good parenting?

A wonderful father deals with the shit and the piss and the puke and the snot and the lice and the worms and all the other disgusting elements of caring for a child.

Yes this. It's harsh but true. He can't pick and choose which parts of parenting he wants to do

Pmsl.

Show him this thread. Then warn him about a child puking all over him (not a baby) then he will know what gagging is!

Ask him how on earth he copes with wiping his own backside. It really is no different.

I gag at clearing up vomit, to the point that it may actually be sick. I just make sure I have enough time to get to the bathroom, and get on with it.

Time for that day off OP. He will have to get on with it then.

I know some people are more sensitive to smells than others, but if he really wanted to solve this one he would think around the problem for a solution (and not leave you to ask on MN).

How pathetic!! I'd say he needs to do them all to get over it faster. I bet he will get over it fast if he knows that's why he's doing every single one.