Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

407 replies

Cleaneatingisawesome · 24/01/2021 09:49

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

OP posts:
catsmother · 24/01/2021 10:42

FFS, no one likes it but it needs to be done, and should be a task equally shared between both parents if they're both there.

And so what if he gags? Still needs to be done, takes a minute unless there's been a complete explosion. Even then, still needs to be done. I gag when I brush my back teeth, it's not pleasant, but it still needs to be done. I try to limit the effect by taking deep breaths so as not to panic and use a small headed brush. He's an adult, he could try thinking about how to limit the effect his own child's poo has on him by opening a window, breathing through his mouth, using Vick or similar, calming himself by counting to ten as he cleans up.... whatever. He certainly shouldn't be calling on you.

Anon778833 · 24/01/2021 10:42

He needs to grow up. How pathetic. Sorry but it is.

OhToBeASeahorse · 24/01/2021 10:42

Also - just for perspective - my son frequently does 4 times a. day aged 2. You've got a lot of shit in front of you if he doesnt step up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families
Mrsjayy · 24/01/2021 10:43

So he laughed what a tool he is probably thinks we are all silly nagging women Hmm

Dontjudgeme101 · 24/01/2021 10:43

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

Yes, tell him to grow the fuck up and get over it. Pathetic!!

This 100%
Ninkanink · 24/01/2021 10:43

I hope everyone else has already said this...

He can practise until he hits the wall and it no longer bothers him.

What a baby. You can’t be a baby once you have your own baby.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 24/01/2021 10:43

Him laughing about it would make me furious. He obviously thinks it's all a huge joke, why should he do it when you run to his aid every time.

'Pass out' thats very overdramatic OP. Its quite ridiculous.

TroysMammy · 24/01/2021 10:44

Full PPE from someone who has never changed a shitty nappy.

Throughabushbackwards · 24/01/2021 10:44

You've let this go on for 6 months?! My DH tried it out on day 1 in the hospital. A hard, withering stare from both me and the midwife was all that was needed to make him realise what a twat he was being.

Northernsoullover · 24/01/2021 10:45

If you are reading replies to him tell him I called him a lazy pathetic c....

SeahorseoramI · 24/01/2021 10:45

He just laughed and thought it was funny

Doesnt give a shit, does he.

He does them all. Stop taking over. If he chooses to leave a baby in a dirty nappy because he is a special lamb, then you know that actually he isnt a wonderful father, as that is neglect.

Btw, when he is taking over the baby in an evening to give you a break, what exactly are you doing with that time. Im hoping a bath, read a book. Im assuming catching up with chores...

Arobase · 24/01/2021 10:45

If he thinks it's funny then it's clearly not a serious problem for him and he can be left to get on with it in future.

glassshoes · 24/01/2021 10:46

He has no motivation to change with his 'aversion' given you do it for him. I agree that repeated exposure is the way to go, Google exposure therapy is he needs any rationale (other than the fact this is his child and he needs to step up with this!)

SueEllenMishke · 24/01/2021 10:46

What a baby.

Sounds like you've got a lazy man child on your hands.
Why is it acceptable for men to cherry pick which parts of parenting they way to get involved in?

If he is actually going to pass out at the sight of a dirty nappy then he really needs to get some professional help.

Clymene · 24/01/2021 10:47

Oh wow - he looks after his own child in the evenings. What a prince among men! Hmm

Ninkanink · 24/01/2021 10:47

And his laughing about it is extremely irritating.

He absolutely should not be disturbing you during a lie in just because he’s too precious to change a nappy!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 24/01/2021 10:48

Ye gods!

Is he made of chocolate? That at least would be useful in times of stress!

His selfishness is all bright and shiny, I can see it from way over here!

Daffy2020 · 24/01/2021 10:48

Just go out and leave him alone with the baby then he will have to, he’ll have no other choice. Ridiculous you’re even posting this or putting up with that from a grown man.

FightingWithTheWind · 24/01/2021 10:48

He needs to get over himself and fast, what happens if you had to have stay in hospital, and he is left alone with the baby? He is not going to pass out, lots of people gag when changing dirty nappies (or cleaning up vomit/diarhea) - but they get on with it because they aren't pathetic. He laughed at you for pointing out that he can't handle one of the most basic parts of parenting? Yeah he sounds like such a wonderful person.

YouokHun · 24/01/2021 10:49

@Souther

The only way through the aversion is be desensitization. This means from now on he needs to do every dirty nappy until he is better. He will thank you for your help in getting over the aversion. Wink
Just coming here to say the same. I recommend an old fashioned technique called flooding. This means he changes every nappy and when he isn’t changing one he’s walking round with a full nappy taped under his nose until he has worn out his response. It might work but either way it will give you a break and some cheap lockdown entertainment.
BaggoMcoys · 24/01/2021 10:49

I do feel your dp's pain as I genuinely gagged doing my dd's but I still did it because you have to! I was home with her so did the majority, but if she went when her dad was home from work I would get him to do them (though as I said, I did the majority as I was home with her for the majority of the time). Don't let him get away with doing none at all, it's unfair on you. Nobody particularly enjoys cleaning up another person's excrement, even if it is their childs! They're not pleasant for anyone but it's part of being a parent. He just has to deal with it.

2021hastobebetter · 24/01/2021 10:49

Mask and he does them all from now on.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/01/2021 10:50

A good dad gets on with all aspects of caring for their child without whinging. A good partner/husband respects the other parent’s right to have a lie in undisturbed.

Do not pander to this bullshit.

partyatthepalace · 24/01/2021 10:50

Are you for real??

Stop pandering to this 💩 ffs. He can breath through his mouth like everyone else. Or wear a mask if he feels like it, there are enough of them about.

Your partners 💩 is a lot more worrying than the baby’s OP, this does not bode well. Stop being his mummy, right now.

MagicSummer · 24/01/2021 10:50

I don't blame him! One of the many reasons why I never wanted to have children.