How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

[Cleaneatingisawesome]

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

Some men are truly pathetic with stuff like this. Before I'd had children or ever come close to changing a nappy my DDad almost cried when he and I had been left alone with my toddler DN and we noticed poo sliding down the back of his leg, ex-nappy. I had to clean up and change it of course, neither of us had 'the skills' or experience required, (he'd actually been around for the babyhoods of his own 3 children mind) but funnily enough as a woman i was infinitely more qualified it seems

I spoke with my partner this afternoon and he said that he's the one in the relationship that for insurance assembles flatpack furniture as I don't have the skills to do it and that I should be the one changing nappies as he doesn't have the skills to change nappies.

To a certain degree I do understand where he is coming from if there are things within the house you won't/can't do, I always say play to your strengths. It will limit his childcare options until the kid is 2.5/3 years old though, so I suggest he gets cracking i learning to stomach the nappies and you learn how to do flat pack furniture.

Unless he's building a dozen bookcases and coffee tables a day he's talking out his arse. Unless you get this sorted every time your child is sick he's just going to wipe his hands of the situation and expect you to sort it out for him.

Ffs
Doesn't he ever shit and wipe his arse?

He's a drama queen. Leave him to it. If he leaves his child in a dirty nappy because he has an aversion to changing it than he's not by any stretch a great dad.

I have a real aversion to vomit. I struggle not to vomit myself if I have to clean up vomit. But I have children and sometimes they are sick and I have to hold my breath and clean up. Sometimes I'm sick myself afterwards. But tough shit, it has to be done. He can go and be sick afterwards if it's that bad.

Well tackle this issue now Op or resign yourself to having a husband who cannot provide sole care for his own child.

It's sad that he'll pass his misogynist views onto his children as they get older.

If he likes flat pack assembly then he can Google nappy changing and print himself some instructions with diagrams if necessary.

He is a dick.

1. There are zero skills needed to change a nappy that you don't use when you wipe your own arse
2. Nobody likes changing nappies but we just get on with it, wait till the baby is a wriggling toddler on full meals
3. Looking after his child doesn't make him a great dad just a passable one. It's the bare minimum of parenting.

@wellthatsunusual exactly! When ds was 7 weeks he shat all over me. I was absolutely coveted and I will never forget it! I showered and carried on, like any normal parent would. I didn't whine on and on about 'aversions', it's ridiculous. When you're a parent you get on with things. The flat pack furniture manipulation is bad too.

Covered, even.

I have a real aversion/phobia to vomit and gag uncontrollably. Same with cat and dog poo. Sometimes I actually vomit a bit. But he just has to carry on. It won't cause him any harm to gag and it will lessen with time and exposure.

I once knew a woman whose husband pulled this trick. They ended up having 4 children and he didn’t change a single nappy of any child and she incredibly put up with it.
He needs to pull his big man pants up and change the nappies and you need to leave the room or house every time he performs because I bet you £100 if you’re not there, suddenly there’d be much less drama.

Funny how many men have an aversion to these things. But I've never in my life heard of a woman who can't change a nappy.

Ah so he’s just your run of the mill misogynistic arsehole then

Buy preassembled furniture

@grassisjeweled

Buy preassembled furniture

Yes for your own house or flat when you leave this useless excuse of a man.

Seriously do you want your son thinking this is how he should behave in future relationships? Would you be proud or disappointed if he expected his wife ot partner to do it all?

I'm really concerned that he's building flat pack furniture 6-8 times a day, that's crazy, maybe you should get him professional help. If he's not then it's not really comparable to changing dirty nappies ...

So every time you change a nappy he jumps up and builds some flat pack ?

Can you see how crazy this sounds? Exactly, he is being ridiculous.

I have a very bad aversion, physically shudder the way some people do when they see rats or spiders, feel a bit shaky and anxious. I'm ok with vomit (obviously don't like it). Partner definitely did more than his fair share of poo nappies. I did more than my fair share of vomit. I'm now ok with poo-ey nappies - still get the odd shudder, but million times better than I was. As for the retching, I started putting a sick bowl near me when I was changing - sometimes it got used, often it was just retching and when I had morning sickness, it was used most times I had to change a poo. He may never be ok with it, but he can get "better" at it. He does have my sympathies though! As do you. Lots of people don't have their aversions thrust at them day in, day out - when you do, you have to just deal with it! I also didn't use a potty for toilet training mine and did straight to toilet. I've also shamefully whisked a dc out of the bath and let my partner deal with the accident - I guess the equivalent would be asking someone with a fear of spiders to put their hand into a box of spiders. Of course, part and parcel of having kids is dealing with poo, so I've had to deal with it!

Lol at six. Months it's mainly milk. Wait till he's on solids. Really though breath through the mouth and force himself to get on with it. Alternatively stiff some tissue up his nose. This is basic parenting stuff so I would tell him he needs to find a way to get on with it as he's looking at poo for the next four five years

Good heavens what if one day you weren't around to change nappies would he just leave his son in shit? He needs to grow up

And wait until your son is toilet training and you have to wipe alarming amounts of concealed poo out their bum, off their testicles etc.

Also you have to change nappies several times a day for years whereas how often do you really assemble flat pack furniture? He's a prick. It reminds me of when people think they have equal share of house work because they cook but their husband mows the lawn once a fortnight

I couldn’t find such feebleness in a man attractive.

He needs to step up and stop being so dramatic.

I want to clarify that my partner has done lots of nappy changes in the last six months as long it was just pee.

With poos, he usually gags and calls me for help.

He's not a bad man at all and I'm sorry if it came across like this on this thread.

Apart from his problems with poos, he does his fair share of parenting.

Looking after our son in the evening after he comes home from work so I can have some time to myself, he carries him in a baby carrier in the park so that I can go for my run. At the moment he's furloughed and very often I have a lie-in in the morning and he goes downstairs with him.

After birth, I was also very poorly ( I lost 2 litres of blood) and he looked after him many nights despite having to go to work the next day.

He's also very caring and sweet with our son in general.

His only flaw is his aversion to nappies filled with poo.

I agree with you all though that it isn't sustainable not being able to change dirty nappies due to a phobia.

I will ask him to a dirty nappy change tomorrow on his own so that he can get used to it.