Would you go to Aus and leave your kids for 3 weeks?

[Flyornofly]

Hi - have NCed as feel guilty even thinking about this.

I am originally from Australia, married to an Englishman and have lived here for 20 odd years. 2 kids, daughter 4 and at nursery, son 2 at home right now. My family are all in Australia, my dad is 80 & mum 78, & I have a sister who is having a baby in may.

I haven’t seen my family for coming up to 2 years, I was meant to go in March 2020 when the lockdown happened. I now have a window where I could potentially fly and do the quarantines on either side (am a contractor and between projects). However, I am hesitating about bringing my kids as it will be 2 weeks cooped up in a hotel room and then only 2ish weeks with family before having to fly back. DH can’t travel with us as has to work.

Was thinking as an alternative to leave kids with DH and do the quarantine by myself, then spend just a week with my parents and come back. So would be away for 3ish weeks. I can get on a flight so no probs there.

Would you do it? I feel awful about even thinking about being away from them for that long. But am worried the Australian borders will remain shut for another year or more, and I won’t have the ability to take 3-4 weeks off once this gap between jobs finishes. And my dad, in particular, isn’t getting any younger.

I can’t figure out whether I’m being utterly ridiculous to even contemplate this or I should just GO and the kids will survive.

I think leaving them with the other parent is fine and could be really fun, they can do special activities etc and order takeout to make it seem like a treat not being 'left behind'
It would be too long to leave with a family member or friend but their Dad should be perfectly capable. Lots of parents work away for odd periods and the other parent steps up

Go and see your family. You cannot get time back with your parents. I moved back to Melbourne from the UK because I didn't want the prolonged separation. Quarantine is shit but there is no choice.

Absolutely not under the current travel circumstances. What if you get stuck? Rules change or flights dont run?

@Flyornofly

Coming back to this thread...had got comfortable with waiting til Christmas when all aussies were vaxxed and the border would presumably open. Now it’s looking like aussie vaccination won’t be complete until q1/2 2022 AND the Health Minister has come out and said they won’t open the border post vaccines as they don’t offer complete protection!

So am now assuming the border won’t open properly until end 2022, maybe 2023...

Given things seem to be relatively stable in the U.K. for summer I was thinking of going in July once I get my 2nd vaccine done in early June. I’d have to leave my kids tho as would have to work in quarantine as couldn’t take 3 weeks off...so back to my original dilemma!

I assume you are flying 1st or business class and that you have a guaranteed spot in quarantine.

If not. Don't bother. I promise you we are equally desperate to see our families in the UK but we know that getting home is almost impossible. My son can't get home, so I know a thing or two.

They are actually saying 2024 before restriction free travel. It's bloody horrendous, so I feel for you.

I read borders might be shut for years-even after everyone has been vaccinated so may be a mute question really

To those suggesting I plan a trip for all of us - I would love to do that! But a few reasons why not - I don’t have 3 weeks of annual leave. If I went alone I could work through quarantine, but no way can I work in a hotel room with a 4&2 year old. Secondly, I don’t think it’s really fair to put the kids through 2 weeks of being trapped in a hotel room just to then only be there for a week (and as discussed I don’t have enough holiday to stay longer). My preference would be to wait until (at least) there is a home quarantine option which I thought might happen for vaccinated people this year - but with the Australian rollout being bungled I think this is vanishingly unlikely. It’ll be 2 years at Christmas since I’ve seen any of my family, and I’m not prepared to wait too much longer.

It’s good to know that those of you whose parents went abroad didn’t feel too traumatised by it! I feel much more comedy leaving my 2 year old now (she’ll be 2.5 by the time I went) than I did a couple of months ago.

@GADDay I would fly business class, yes. Horrendously expensive (and another reason not to take the whole family with tickets running at £7-8k per seat).

They have two parents and you would be leaving them with one of them. It's a few weeks out of their whole lives. They will be fine. Would your husband even give this a second thought? Go.

Do it, definitely. Do you even need to quarantine when you come home? I thought Australia was pretty covid-free.

A friend of mine did exactly this before Christmas. I was convinced he wouldn’t get on a flight but he went, sat in a hotel for a fortnight, saw family for a fortnight, then came back. No children minds

@Lalliella

Do it, definitely. Do you even need to quarantine when you come home? I thought Australia was pretty covid-free.

At the moment everyone other than those in red countries has to quarantine at home for 10 days. I suspect however that that will change next month. But being at home much better than being in a hotel!

I think you do have to quarantine on the way back but probably at home - you’re right, we don’t have Covid in the population here, but you could be exposed on the flight.

OP In your situation as long as dh can manage yeah I’d go, and I definitely would not take the children. 2 weeks stuck in a hotel room with the smalls would be insufferable (for me, anyway).

I would do it.

Your DH will cope and in a few months your DC will barely remember that you ever went.

By suggesting I trip for the whole family I was responding to you saying that you were planning to hold off for now. My view is that you could all probably do with having something to look forward to!

If you plan far enough ahead it’s likely quarantine of any kind won’t be needed, and you can negotiate the time you need off work, even if you take some leave unpaid. That’s what I would do but of course it’s up to you.

I'd take the kids. Like you said, you don't know if this will ever be possible on your parents lifetime. I'd suck up the quarantine, do the two weeks with family. You might go a bit stir crazy but I think it'll be worth it

No, I wouldn't.

Feel like jetting off far away just now though to get away from everyone🤪

@ElephantsNest I think the issue is that quarantine seems likely to persist through at least til mid 2022 if not later (end of 2022)? That will make it 3 years between seeing my family, with both my parents in their 80s. We will def plan a family holiday when quarantine is lifted, I just don’t think that will be any time soon!

I think I will do it. Yes will have to quarantine at home on return but that’s fine - I can also do test & release on day 5 so not too bad. I will also be fully vaccinated so not particularly worried about catching it on the flight.

I don’t disagree, you might as well go now whilst there is a window. I would still plan a family trip too if affordable, even if it ends up being a lot further into the future. Best of luck with it.

I wouldn’t worry about leaving them. I worked overseas for three months when mine were that age. Lots of people do, and for much longer. They will be with a parent, after all.

I think it will do it. Just need to find a little window of time. And a flight!