Would you go to Aus and leave your kids for 3 weeks?

[Flyornofly]

Hi - have NCed as feel guilty even thinking about this.

I am originally from Australia, married to an Englishman and have lived here for 20 odd years. 2 kids, daughter 4 and at nursery, son 2 at home right now. My family are all in Australia, my dad is 80 & mum 78, & I have a sister who is having a baby in may.

I haven’t seen my family for coming up to 2 years, I was meant to go in March 2020 when the lockdown happened. I now have a window where I could potentially fly and do the quarantines on either side (am a contractor and between projects). However, I am hesitating about bringing my kids as it will be 2 weeks cooped up in a hotel room and then only 2ish weeks with family before having to fly back. DH can’t travel with us as has to work.

Was thinking as an alternative to leave kids with DH and do the quarantine by myself, then spend just a week with my parents and come back. So would be away for 3ish weeks. I can get on a flight so no probs there.

Would you do it? I feel awful about even thinking about being away from them for that long. But am worried the Australian borders will remain shut for another year or more, and I won’t have the ability to take 3-4 weeks off once this gap between jobs finishes. And my dad, in particular, isn’t getting any younger.

I can’t figure out whether I’m being utterly ridiculous to even contemplate this or I should just GO and the kids will survive.

@zzizzer yes I will be mean & unpleasant to those who come into my threads and are unpleasant to me. Which on this thread is one poster. Everyone else has been super helpful and I have appreciated the perspectives.

My parents live overseas, I am also unable to travel to see them and am terrified that I may never see them again. People who live in the same country or even in the same timezone don't understand how much this affects your ability to see each other or even stay in close contact.

Except that some of us (even those with tiny minds who couldn't possibly understand the incredible importance of the OP and her vital work), actually HAVE lived OS for years, in other time zones and understand exactly what the issue is and still think she's being entitled and tone deaf in the middle of a pandemic.

In your position I would go and not take kids. Take your work laptop in case you get stuck. They will be fine. They have another parent and a nanny (jealous).

Leaving aside the practicalities, I wouldn't bother to fly to Australia to just see my family for a week and spend another two staring at the same four walls.

In normal times, I would absolutely do this, although of course, in normal times you could probably take them with you!

I wouldn't worry about leaving them with their father, they would be fine.

I think you need to realise it’s totally luck of the draw. Some people will do it. A significant number will be repeatedly bumped from confirmed and paid for flights. We have had people in quarantine having to do 28 days just because of some glitch at the hotel they are put in (and no, no option to book a nice house and pool!). Some people get exit permission quickly. Others wait 3+ months to even have their exit application looked at (yes, I know some). So you can get all the anecdotes you like, but the scenario you end up is total luck of the draw. And that’s before a couple of local cases put large parts of cities into hard lockdown

www.traveller.com.au/australians-stranded-overseas-due-to-covid19-how-airlines-are-deciding-who-gets-to-fly-home-h1tdne

What are the repatriation flights like now? When my parents returned it was no hot food, no hot drinks, no entertainment system, no getting off the plane when it stopped in Perth - something to consider with kids

As the article says the airlines describe the situation as chaotic. And one of the few airlines left flying the route is Qatar. Let’s not forget the recent experience of Australian (And other) women on that route.

www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-australia-54714472

On behalf of my fellow Melbournians, please stay home. Just for a little while longer. We are teetering on a very thin line and would like to stay on the right side of it. We had a little scare with the new, mutated UK strain but seem to have it under control.

As an Australian - stay at home please.

Pissed me right off to see that PT Diren Kartal being interviewed on the BBC about his hotel quarantine experience. How the fuck did he get a slot "to do his tour with James Smith" when Australians (he's not Australian) haven't been able to get home to be with family? As if their book tour will go ahead- you can't fly between states that easily these days.

I'm fuming.

I’d be absolutely fine leaving the kids. They won’t remember and will enjoy the novelty in the main. Cooping them up in quarantine sounds disastrous though.

My concern would actually be for your parents. Given their ages, how likely is it that you may actually need to go over sometime between now and the border restrictions being lifted? Would you be able to get in for a second time? God forbid one of your parents feel seriously ill, would you be ok that you had seen them earlier in the year but weren’t able to go to them on their deathbed for example. It’s a horrible thought but if the likelihood of getting in is low, I would probably save that for any possible emergency.

I do appreciate in an emergency you would still need to quarantine but there are scenarios where you could do this and still see your parent before the end. I say this as someone who was stuck abroad during the Icelandic Ash Cloud debacle and missed a family death which devastated me.

@RubyFakeLips

I’d be absolutely fine leaving the kids. They won’t remember and will enjoy the novelty in the main. Cooping them up in quarantine sounds disastrous though.

My concern would actually be for your parents. Given their ages, how likely is it that you may actually need to go over sometime between now and the border restrictions being lifted? Would you be able to get in for a second time? God forbid one of your parents feel seriously ill, would you be ok that you had seen them earlier in the year but weren’t able to go to them on their deathbed for example. It’s a horrible thought but if the likelihood of getting in is low, I would probably save that for any possible emergency.

I do appreciate in an emergency you would still need to quarantine but there are scenarios where you could do this and still see your parent before the end. I say this as someone who was stuck abroad during the Icelandic Ash Cloud debacle and missed a family death which devastated me.

This is how I feel. I’ve done the trip gone in normal times for a kind of call to come home.

But the real call later on will still get you moving even if you had been a bit before. For me anyway.

I don't think people in the UK comprehend just how much more strict the rules are in Australia. My Aunty had to get permission to travel to see her dying mother. My cousins got permission to get to the funeral but my brother and sister did not (different states).

Op you really need to think this through. Say you go and can't get back, you get ill or dh gets ill and ends up in hospital. You need to put your children first.

@HoppingPavlova are they Australian resident though? I am not. It’s a completely different situation. (I also think it’s completely outrageous that you cannot leave to go to another country of which you are a citizen and am amazed no one has challenged it but there you go.)

What?? They are a Citizen (so now have Aus passport) who currently lives here? Citizen trumps resident in terms of rights but Govnt has tighter control of Citizens. Because they are Citizens........ No idea what you are asking here with res vs cit? Cit trumps red in terms of normal protections but at the moment permanent residents and Visa holders have it better as not under ‘Govnt control’ for want if a better term. They can control Citizens as opposed to non-Citizen residents. But when it comes to points of no commercial or repatriation flights in (which we have had at times when there have been harder lock downs and outbreaks) then it’s common sense there are no corresponding flights out. So irrespective, Citizen, permanent resident, other Visa holder or illegal alien- all stuck and fucked. It’s an easy concept.

@RubyFakeLips

I’d be absolutely fine leaving the kids. They won’t remember and will enjoy the novelty in the main. Cooping them up in quarantine sounds disastrous though.

My concern would actually be for your parents. Given their ages, how likely is it that you may actually need to go over sometime between now and the border restrictions being lifted? Would you be able to get in for a second time? God forbid one of your parents feel seriously ill, would you be ok that you had seen them earlier in the year but weren’t able to go to them on their deathbed for example. It’s a horrible thought but if the likelihood of getting in is low, I would probably save that for any possible emergency.

I do appreciate in an emergency you would still need to quarantine but there are scenarios where you could do this and still see your parent before the end. I say this as someone who was stuck abroad during the Icelandic Ash Cloud debacle and missed a family death which devastated me.

You could also be taking a place from someone else who is trying to get back to see a seriously ill parent.

@overtherubicon

My elderly parents live in Wales, my son lives in Scotland.

I am not being obtuse, just trying to get the OP to understand, that she is wasting her time.

There is a woman in London who has cancer, she can't get home. I just get frustrated with people who just have no idea what it is like.

We were away in a campervan last week. My home state had ONE case - ONE. We were forced into isolation in the van for a 3 day emergency lockdown in my homestate - we were a three hour flight away.

OP as an Australian Citizen you WILL be required to get permission to leave. My son was only allowed to leave because he would have missed his scholarship. We had to prove - by submitting numerous documents from the university.

Nonethess, you are determined to waste your time on this mad and impossible idea.

Rock on. I will wait to see your thread about wasting $45k on flights and not being able to get a quarantine spot.

-bemused-

My partner left me at home for 10 weeks with four children aged 1-6 for a month while he worked away. I was working full time. He did not prep a freezer full of food for me to give them.

Likewise, I left him at home with the children for 3 months while I worked away. He was working full time. He is an adult and sorted it out for himself.

And no, I did not feel guilty. I skyped regularly. We always felt it was important for the children to know that parents need to earn a living, and that both parents are equally capable for looking after a family.

(I don't think you'll be allowed in, but that is a separate discussion!)

@HoppingPavlova

This makes no sense. As an Aus citizen, provided you can prove your residency is overseas, Aus Gov will allow an exception to leave. Rule of thumb is spending more than 1/2 the past year overseas, and proof of your residency - rent, utilities, job, etc.

The only time it is an issue is if you are an Aus citizen and an Aus resident (meet residency criteria for tax purposes). Here it needs to be an incredibly important reason - compassionate, CEO level work - to be approved.

There is plenty of information which details these scenarios, and the difference between an Aus citizen Aus resident vs Aus citizen non Aus resident on the federal government website.

[quote Neonlightning]@HoppingPavlova

This makes no sense. As an Aus citizen, provided you can prove your residency is overseas, Aus Gov will allow an exception to leave. Rule of thumb is spending more than 1/2 the past year overseas, and proof of your residency - rent, utilities, job, etc.

The only time it is an issue is if you are an Aus citizen and an Aus resident (meet residency criteria for tax purposes). Here it needs to be an incredibly important reason - compassionate, CEO level work - to be approved.

There is plenty of information which details these scenarios, and the difference between an Aus citizen Aus resident vs Aus citizen non Aus resident on the federal government website.[/quote]
To add in here, even if you are an Aus citizen and Aus resident, provided you request to leave for a minimum of 3 months, exceptions are now being granted.

You could also be taking a place from someone else who is trying to get back to see a seriously ill parent.

Yes this too

No but only because I’m a stupid worrier, it sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do though.

It sounds completely unreasonable. Also unfeasible.

Victoria's second wave came from hotel quarantine. A family brought it back with them and it got out. How would you feel if that was you?

We endured 3 months of HARD lockdown. Confined to our homes for 23 hours a day. I'm a naturally adaptable and happy go lucky person but this almost broke me.

This is bigger than you just wanting a change of scenery. Thousands of people want, and need, to come home, nevermind and expat that moved away over two decades ago that just wants to stop by for a visit.

Besides, absolutely no chance you would be approved so it's a moot point.