Would you go to Aus and leave your kids for 3 weeks?

[Flyornofly]

Hi - have NCed as feel guilty even thinking about this.

I am originally from Australia, married to an Englishman and have lived here for 20 odd years. 2 kids, daughter 4 and at nursery, son 2 at home right now. My family are all in Australia, my dad is 80 & mum 78, & I have a sister who is having a baby in may.

I haven’t seen my family for coming up to 2 years, I was meant to go in March 2020 when the lockdown happened. I now have a window where I could potentially fly and do the quarantines on either side (am a contractor and between projects). However, I am hesitating about bringing my kids as it will be 2 weeks cooped up in a hotel room and then only 2ish weeks with family before having to fly back. DH can’t travel with us as has to work.

Was thinking as an alternative to leave kids with DH and do the quarantine by myself, then spend just a week with my parents and come back. So would be away for 3ish weeks. I can get on a flight so no probs there.

Would you do it? I feel awful about even thinking about being away from them for that long. But am worried the Australian borders will remain shut for another year or more, and I won’t have the ability to take 3-4 weeks off once this gap between jobs finishes. And my dad, in particular, isn’t getting any younger.

I can’t figure out whether I’m being utterly ridiculous to even contemplate this or I should just GO and the kids will survive.

Keep in mind, new requirements are coming into play now if you test positive in quarantine, you now need to stay in quarantine until you test negative. So 14 days is only guaranteed if you test negative.

There was also an issue in Adelaide where a fire alarm went off and everyone had to evacuate. Because of this the quarantine had to start again - some people were due to be released that day!

Not a chance. Unless you can spend $300K on private security like the celebs are doing.

Leaving them with dad hell yeah go and see your family.

I wouldn't feel right doing it for moral reasons even if I had that kind of money. So many Australians are desperately trying to get home, it would feel very wrong to me to take a place just for a holiday.

Just to add, my parents, sibling, nephew are in Australia too. I haven't seen them since 2019, so I understand what it's like to be separated from family.

There's no way you can keep two kids that age cooped up in a hotel room for two weeks, you need to take that option off the table!

No problems leaving kids with responsible Dad for 3 or 4 weeks BUT that is not the issue. Travel corridors are closed to virtually all now. Staying in a quarentine hotel will be expensive. You may get over even though many are waiting to be repatriated. What if the rules change again and you get stuck over there? Will your DH manage alone with children and work for longer than a month? In short term he could take a couple of weeks leave but not indefinitely.

I think there is a huge difference between both parents leaving a child and one parent going, one staying. I think this would be fine op if it's possible.

I totally get it, OP. I'm in Aus and it's a very different feeling choosing to live a 24 hour flight away from family, with the feeling of 'if I ever need to get back, I'm a day away' to the borders being closed for what will probably be close to two years. It's an awful feeling. I have a grandparent currently in hospital in the UK and I doubt I will see her again. I was meant to come back Xmas 2020. It's gutting.

Would I do what you're doing? In a covid free world - without a second thought (and ideally with kids if you could - their flights would prob be similar cost to quarantine for you).

If you can 'work from home' from the medihotel whilst you quarantine, even better.

My fears would be not being able to get back, flights not being guaranteed etc. I wouldn't worry about getting sick in Aus - much rather that than in the UK at the moment!

Yes. I’ve left my kid for nearly that length of time for work before.

In normal times I think it would be fine leaving them with their dad, but I wouldn’t at the moment.

You may book a flight, only to be bumped from it last minute for a variety of reasons.

If you do make it over then you are quarantined for a minimum of 2 weeks, but if you test positive whilst in quarantine it will be longer.

As I understand it you need to quarantine for 2 weeks on arrival back to uk( but can do so at your own residence) would having an additional 2 weeks off work be possible?

Would you would need to apply for a travel exemption to leave Australia, all Permanent residents and citizens need to have permission to leave. I don’t know how long these take to be granted.

The biggest one for me would be what will happen if something changes and you can’t get back to the Uk, either stuck in Aus, or stuck in whichever country you transit through.

I wouldn’t risk be separated from my children for that length of time.

If you could guarantee to return to your husband and kids in 3 weeks, then sure, make the trip. But the reality is going can’t guarantee that right now. The borders could be closed again at a moments notice and you could be locked outside indefinitely.

I can get a confirmed flight, yes. It will cost thousands, yes. Money I have and am willing to spend. I wouldn’t be posting on here if I hadn’t investigated flights!

You may be best to speak with other citizens who have been trying to get back for several months with many having confirmed flights, confirmed flight after confirmed flight. I know a few who can pay (and have paid) top dollar yet consistently they are bumped from every flight they have been confirmed on 24hrs beforehand, this has been ongoing for several months. Confirmed flights and ticket confirmations mean absolutely diddly squat these days.

Also, if you get here and the situation changes you may not be able to get out. If the situation worsens and becomes such that they cease incoming altogether (as few as they are), then you can't get out no matter what sob story you may have. Not something I would risk with young kids back home.

@Cissyandflora

I did it recently. You won’t get stuck out there because they will want you to leave. It’s the coming in they don’t like. And the U.K. won’t stop you coming back because the U.K. is absolutely useless at protecting borders. I say this as someone who has travelled extensively in the last 6 months.

You’ve travelled extensively? And people wonder why the UK is in such a state.

But I think it is highly irresponsible for you to tell the OP that it will be easy when there is no guarantee of that. OP is flying into Melbourne which had a lockdown that went for months. A proper hard lockdown, 23 hrs a day in your house, 8pm curfew. All international flights cancelled to and from Melbourne and the surrounding states closed their borders to anyone from Victoria so you would need a second hotel quarantine in another state just to get on your flight out. Everyone is on a hair trigger here and Victorians in particular are demanding zero cases and they don’t care who has to suffer to achieve it. We’ve had people locked out of their home states because they dared to take a holiday in another state which then had a small outbreak of covid. And nobody cares about them. Honestly if you don’t live here you can’t possibly understand. The attitude in Australia is very different to the UK.

OP I understand your angst. My husband in English as are many of my friends. They can’t see their families at the moment, grandparents can’t see their grandkids. My nephew won’t see his parents for at least two years because they are in the US and he’s in Australia. It’s a crap time for everyone.

Also don't forget you need to be self isolating in the UK on return. In terms of not being able to have contact with the kids it's 31 days not 21. For the last 10 you can wave at them from the spare room but you can't actually be involved in looking after them. Shortened if you take a test but that doesn't save long by the time you have results back.

Again, this all assumes you plan to actually comply with the law but you still haven't answered my question on what your lawful reason to travel to the airport and fly the AU is, so I'm not sure that matters to you!

Yes BUT I’d be really worried about getting back even if you were able to get there ! Which im pretty sure would turn this into a no for me personally.
Good luck either way.

Right now, I wouldn't, no.

My mum & best friends are in NZ. I haven't been back since a fraught visit in 2018. My mum is late 70's & we lost my Dad a few years ago. My mum desperately wants to see me etc

But there's no way I'd leave the 2&4 year olds at the moment. I'd be FAR too worried about restrictions changing & not being able to get back fast enough if DH or one of the kids was ill or had an accident or something. 'Normal times' I could do it in 40 hours if essential.

Confirmed flights means Jack shit at the moment.

I don't think it's an ideal time to be leaving 2 smalls either. I think their lives are weird/unsettled enough already without mummy disappearing too. & I don't think you should take the kids (& nanny if she's willing)

I'm sorry as it's obviously not what you want to hear!

No. The longest I've been abroad without a DC was two weeks and I hated it, that was when they were an adult.

A hotel full of travellers who were at various stages of their quarantine (some only had one hour left) in Brisbane recently had to re-start their whole quarantine in a new hotel due to a scare over a hotel breach. That's 28 days you could potentially be in quarantine - or more if something like that happened again. Australia have drastically reduced the number of flights in and out and I know you say you have checked and its possible for you now, but it could change again and for me personally I wouldn't risk leaving them for so long.

What does your husband say? Is he happy to do it? Is he confident that he and the kids would be ok if you were gone for longer?

If we weren't in the middle.of a pandemic, I would say go for it! As we are, there is no chance in hell I would fly half way across the world, when there is every chance that airports will close, or countries on either side can decide not to let you in (or out).

As we have seen, nothing is predictable anymore, too many ifs involved here.Also what you want to do vs what you need to do are very different.If we keep allowing people to do what they want to do we are never getting out of this.
I think everyone on this post is in agreement, yes go, fantastic... in a normal world.

In a normal world I would take the kids with me, I travelled twice to Aus with both kids without DH in the first year of my youngest’s life, took him everywhere with me for (shorter) work travel as was bf ig too- they have both travelled extensively and I wouldn’t dream of leaving them behind. It’s the not wanting to put them through quarantine that I am mulling.

You have all convinced me that the risk of longer separation is too great. I will look to take them with me or not go at all.

@Flyornofly

You have conveniently ignored the many Australian based posters who are pointing out the FACT that a trip to Australia right now is impossible.

Did you see the smart traveller link I posted. EVEN if you managed to get here you do know you have to apply for an exemption to leave too. These exemptions are VERY difficult to get.

OP could you quarantine in a house with a pool, garden etc to make it more bearable? Or do the rules state that it must be a hotel ?

Do it!