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Original poster

Would you go to Aus and leave your kids for 3 weeks?

221 replies

Flyornofly · 18/01/2021 10:44

Hi - have NCed as feel guilty even thinking about this.

I am originally from Australia, married to an Englishman and have lived here for 20 odd years. 2 kids, daughter 4 and at nursery, son 2 at home right now. My family are all in Australia, my dad is 80 & mum 78, & I have a sister who is having a baby in may.

I haven’t seen my family for coming up to 2 years, I was meant to go in March 2020 when the lockdown happened. I now have a window where I could potentially fly and do the quarantines on either side (am a contractor and between projects). However, I am hesitating about bringing my kids as it will be 2 weeks cooped up in a hotel room and then only 2ish weeks with family before having to fly back. DH can’t travel with us as has to work.

Was thinking as an alternative to leave kids with DH and do the quarantine by myself, then spend just a week with my parents and come back. So would be away for 3ish weeks. I can get on a flight so no probs there.

Would you do it? I feel awful about even thinking about being away from them for that long. But am worried the Australian borders will remain shut for another year or more, and I won’t have the ability to take 3-4 weeks off once this gap between jobs finishes. And my dad, in particular, isn’t getting any younger.

I can’t figure out whether I’m being utterly ridiculous to even contemplate this or I should just GO and the kids will survive.

OP posts:
SnappednFarted · 19/01/2021 12:16

I have done this.
The kids were fine and it gave them extra time with dad, which they liked.

HollowayL31 · 19/01/2021 12:31

I went in March 2020 with our youngest son to meet his grandparents and was away from my two other DC who were with their dad for 4 weeks! They loved it and was so nice for them to have that time with their father. Go and enjoy it. We are meant to be all going in October but if isolation is still in place there's no way I could be in a room with all 3 for 2 weeks. I'd go crazy, so would they. X

OverTheRubicon · 19/01/2021 13:18

@LadyMinerva

Victoria's second wave came from hotel quarantine. A family brought it back with them and it got out. How would you feel if that was you?

We endured 3 months of HARD lockdown. Confined to our homes for 23 hours a day. I'm a naturally adaptable and happy go lucky person but this almost broke me.

This is bigger than you just wanting a change of scenery. Thousands of people want, and need, to come home, nevermind and expat that moved away over two decades ago that just wants to stop by for a visit.

Besides, absolutely no chance you would be approved so it's a moot point.

A family brought it back and infection control was found to be awful.

My friends in Victoria all appear to feel that they have had it uniquely hard, and I appreciate that the Australian press supported this. But to be clear, in the UK we are now on our third lockdown and while for some it is looser than the Victorian one (eg working out of home, some children can go to school), for a huge percentage of us it is effectively nearly the same. We may be permitted to leave the house to exercise for longer than an hour (we weren't in the first one) but that's not a whole lot when it's been many more than 3 months all up, and no let up between.

Yes, if the choice is between her and another person with a dying sister then of course let them first. But when film crews and tennis stars are allowed to travel, think twice before you get on your high horse about someone who just wants to see their 80 year old dad.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
Flyornofly · 19/01/2021 13:47

Ok thanks I think I’ve got what I need from this thread. It is absolutely not impossible as I have had multiple friends and colleagues make the journey. I think the poster who said it’s luck of the draw is bang on, it’s possible but needs a bit of luck and a lot of planning. I have decided i will hold off for now.

Interestingly in stark contrast to the Australians on this thread all my aussie friends have said to absolutely come back now & are actively encouraging me to do it. So not all Australians have mentally shut down their borders.

@LadyMinerva I have the utmost sympathy for those stranded. But let’s not forget that this is a problem ENTIRELY of the Australian government’s making. There is absolutely no reason they could not run sufficient flights to repatriate all affected australians and to keep borders open in a controlled way with appropriate quarantine for all Australian citizens. The fact they have not done so is completely due to politics and is to my mind an absolute disgrace. I find it baffling that more Australians aren’t up in arms about it and instead carping at fellow citizens.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 19/01/2021 13:52

Interestingly in stark contrast to the Australians on this thread all my aussie friends have said to absolutely come back now & are actively encouraging me to do it.

Yes this is natural. As most Aus who are away will probably find.

But Australians here won’t be for obvious reasons.

Original poster
Flyornofly · 19/01/2021 14:47

No I mean Australians in Australia - my friends from melbourne

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 19/01/2021 15:08

No I know. I’m getting the same from people in Aus but it doesn’t surprise me at all that it’s different to people who have no connection on here.

Original poster
Flyornofly · 19/01/2021 15:13

Oh I see. Yes indeed. It’s just sh1t. Gaaaaaaah.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 19/01/2021 15:15

I know it is. I said to friends in same position I’ve completely reassessed the idea of moving away - as we were so apt to do as Aussies back then. I’ll probably follow the dc around when they’re older in case there’s a pandemic ;

It is awful though to feel so completely cut off. I looked recently as had a message on health, but all fine tg, feels v hard.

Whatisthisarghhh · 19/01/2021 16:36

@Flyornofly I hope you manage to get back and everything goes according to plan. I think it is very hard for people who aren't in your position to understand exactly what it is like. Everyone I know back in Australia would not have a problem with my family coming to visit as they know that there are (mostly) effective quarantine measures in place. I'd go for it. Your DC wont remember and they will be with another parent and a caring adult who they clearly know well. Enjoy your time there.

Original poster
Flyornofly · 13/04/2021 23:28

Coming back to this thread...had got comfortable with waiting til Christmas when all aussies were vaxxed and the border would presumably open. Now it’s looking like aussie vaccination won’t be complete until q1/2 2022 AND the Health Minister has come out and said they won’t open the border post vaccines as they don’t offer complete protection!

So am now assuming the border won’t open properly until end 2022, maybe 2023...

Given things seem to be relatively stable in the U.K. for summer I was thinking of going in July once I get my 2nd vaccine done in early June. I’d have to leave my kids tho as would have to work in quarantine as couldn’t take 3 weeks off...so back to my original dilemma!

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 13/04/2021 23:34

I'd be worried about getting stuck there. I don't think I'd risk it.

Runiper · 13/04/2021 23:40

@HavelockVetinari

I wouldn't do it - there's a reasonable chance of getting stranded there, and your 2-year-old is too young to understand where you've gone and why, they will be heartbroken (as will you most likely - it'll be miserable stuck in a hotel for 2 weeks missing your DC).

Sorry OP, I'd wait till the end of the year.

I agree. I definitely would not do this.
Original poster
Flyornofly · 14/04/2021 00:24

I’m not too worried about getting stuck - I think getting out is fine.

OP posts:
OneKeyAtATime · 14/04/2021 01:00

I would go for longer if possible of I were you. My mother did that regularly. No harm done.

Original poster
Flyornofly · 14/04/2021 07:11

I can’t, really - I have to work and I don’t think I can really leave my kids for months on end anyway.

OP posts:
Cattitudes · 14/04/2021 07:49

I think working through quarantine would probably be preferable to not working, at least you won't be bored. I would go for it. You have a nanny who can provide consistent childcare. You can talk on facetime and it is just a month.

babbi · 14/04/2021 07:55

I would definitely go in your position, particularly as your parents are elderly.
Your children will be perfectly fine and well looked after .
Have a safe trip .

MrsKingfisher · 14/04/2021 08:09

If everything aligns and you're able, go! I hope you manage to see your parents and you have a lovely time together.

spotcheck · 14/04/2021 08:14

@Monkeytapper

I’d be worried about being stuck there even if you do get there in the first place.
Me too. In 'normal times' , I totally would, but not now. I'd be too worried about getting stuck
Xiaoxiong · 14/04/2021 08:21

I would definitely go, no question. My parents have just flown to a south East Asian country where the rules are even stricter than Oz to see their new grandchild, because the likelihood is that vaccines won't be rolled out there for months if not years. They had to apply for a special visa, were the only people on the plane, had to wear full hazmat suits for the transfer to the quarantine hotel, they are working remotely from the hotel for 2 weeks etc. Just try, and if you get turned back then at least you know you tried your best.

I've been away from my kids for a month for work, and my own mother was away from us at that age for a term at a time when she was doing her masters in another country - that was before video calls, we were fine! Had a few dodgy meals thanks to my dad's love of tinned ravioli though Grin

Librarybooksandacoconut · 14/04/2021 08:22

I’m only going to talk about leaving your dc to go to Australia and not about current restrictions/quarantine. My parents are Australian but I grew up in the U.K. One of them would go back to visit every year or so for a few weeks as they couldn’t afford airfares for all 5 of us at once. It was absolutely fine for us as children - we missed them obviously but it certainly didn’t cause any long lasting harm or feeling like we had been abandoned. They called us regularly and our other parent was with us. With video calling nowadays it would be even easier to keep that connection.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/04/2021 08:23

I’d worry about getting stuck too and three weeks annual leave is a lot if you only get the standard amount and I’d want to spend that time with my children. I’d go and take them with me but wouldn’t go alone for that long.

Ozgirl75 · 14/04/2021 08:29

I’m in Sydney and I would come - I wouldn’t worry about getting stuck here, they don’t mind people leaving, it’s arriving that’s the issue (because of the hotel quarantine).
I also know a few people who have come and gone for business with no issues at all.
Good luck.

ElephantsNest · 14/04/2021 08:40

Can you plan a trip where you all go? Something for you and your family in Aus to look forward to? I would imagine if your family are anything like mine that they would love to meet your children, and if it was planned ahead you could block out the time in your work diaries.