Would you go to Aus and leave your kids for 3 weeks?

[Flyornofly]

Hi - have NCed as feel guilty even thinking about this.

I am originally from Australia, married to an Englishman and have lived here for 20 odd years. 2 kids, daughter 4 and at nursery, son 2 at home right now. My family are all in Australia, my dad is 80 & mum 78, & I have a sister who is having a baby in may.

I haven’t seen my family for coming up to 2 years, I was meant to go in March 2020 when the lockdown happened. I now have a window where I could potentially fly and do the quarantines on either side (am a contractor and between projects). However, I am hesitating about bringing my kids as it will be 2 weeks cooped up in a hotel room and then only 2ish weeks with family before having to fly back. DH can’t travel with us as has to work.

Was thinking as an alternative to leave kids with DH and do the quarantine by myself, then spend just a week with my parents and come back. So would be away for 3ish weeks. I can get on a flight so no probs there.

Would you do it? I feel awful about even thinking about being away from them for that long. But am worried the Australian borders will remain shut for another year or more, and I won’t have the ability to take 3-4 weeks off once this gap between jobs finishes. And my dad, in particular, isn’t getting any younger.

I can’t figure out whether I’m being utterly ridiculous to even contemplate this or I should just GO and the kids will survive.

It's an impossible situation for you, but I don't honestly think I could do it

I would try yes. There is an Aussie tv presenter here in the U.K. on a channel 4 show called the last leg and he popped back to Melbourne for Xmas and is back in the U.K. again now as I watched his show on Friday so it obviously can be done

Last time I looked one economy seat in March was £8k

Much lower if it took 35 hours plus

No I definitely wouldn't.
Your dcs ages.
The situation.

I think 3 weeks away for the sake of one week with family does seem a bit ridiculous. Wouldn’t it be better to wait until the balance is tipped in favour of more actual time with family?

It's a non essential trip, I thought you could only go for essential reasons?

Have your parents met your children?

I think I would wait and then take the children as well. I am sure that your parents would love to spend some time with them too.

And to leave for 3 weeks to only see your parents for one week...I wouldn't.

I just did exactly this. It was 2 months. I will go again but this time with the children. My parents needed me and I had to go. I did the hotel quarantine.

I think it's too complex right now. Children can cope with the current situation BECAUSE you are there being consistent. If they have to worry about you being away it could affect their sense of security. Put it off.

My dad is American and we didn't have the money to fly the whole family out to visit his mum so he went by himself and we stayed with my mum.

If your kids are being looked after and it's to see family there's no reason to feel guilty about it at all.

(slight judgement if it were for 3 weeks just for a holiday... but that's just my opinion).

Firstly, I get you. In similar situation other than the quarantine is inbound (3 weeks, hotel, cant step out of the room, cant open the windows, 3 covid tests during that time). Hasn't kept the schools open though, has it? . Also, it's a city state so it is SMALL- can be on the border in 50 mins. As you can imagine, after only 3 weeks of normal school since Jan 1 2020, my escape fantasies are growing ever more crazy and desperate. But unfortunately, it's too risky to leave as may not be able to get back (have friends stuck in UK as inbound flights banned indefinitely- only way back is to spend 3 weeks in a third country first).

So, I dont think you should do it but I 100% understand why you want to.

I’m sorry, it must be really difficult to be away from your family for so long. That said, even if it were possible for you to get a flight at a reasonable price, I don’t think it’s ethical to take a place away from somebody trying to return permanently due to hardship or urgent family reasons right now.

At the moment, no personally I wouldn’t travel (I also have parents abroad who I haven’t seen in over a year). But yes, previously I’ve gone to Australia and left dc with dh for 2 weeks and I happily would again if I had a reason to.

I wouldn't. I understand numbers are restricted and someone else may have say a terminally ill family member they would like to visit, or another reason that you and probably most other people would think is of higher priority.

Can you really get on a flight now to Aus?
I'd worry risk of cancellation/ high temp or similar when I was out there and getting stuck. If you have resources to pay for extra flights/hotels/ tests / self isolation when you get back it might be possible (although I don't think you can really just get on a flight now).
Outside pandemic times I would say go. Your kids are safe at home with their father. What if you were working away for 4 weeks? What do people with children do then? They go!

My mum did it. I was a bit upset but older (4?) my brother was young and he basically didn't recognise his mum when she came back and wouldn't even look at her.

I wouldn't go, but I know a few people who do go on holidays without their kids.

As an Aussie, there are a few things you should be aware of. There are many facebook groups about Aussies trying to get home. Recently a number of airlines have pulled flights while our caps remain in play. Higher chance if you fly first/business. After the Aus Open, Melbourne will have more spots, but there still are 40K Aussies registered and trying to get home.

If you manage to get in, I returned from Singapore last year and completed quarantine in Adelaide. It's do-able, but pretty tough. Be aware you cannot go outside your room for 14 days and the food can be pretty rubbish. I was in a room with no balcony or opening window. Spend about $800 AUD on UberEats (no cooking facilities in room).

Be aware of state border closures too - any cases of community spread are leading to entry/exit being locked down. Keep in mind when planning might be best to stick with one state and not plan to travel too much.

I am in a similar situation, lived here 20 years except my kids are older.
It's not impossible to get there, one of my friends has recently flown home and survived the quarantine so I assume from your OP that you've looked into it.
I would absolutely love to go home and see my family, it's never really seemed far away before but now you can't just 'get on a plane and go' it seems like the moon.
But if I had the opportunity I'm not sure I would go. Three weeks, no problem, the DC and DH will be fine without you, and non pandemic times I would go in a flash.
But now... my concern would be that a) you got sick on the flight, or b) things changed while you were there and you couldn't get back. So I probably wouldn't go but I understand why you want to.

Logistics permitting, absolutely, yes.

I think you need to read up on the entry restrictions, it is incredibly difficult to get a flight and a spot in hotel quarantine right now.... unless you're a tennis player of course 🙄

Even if you could get a spot, I don't think I'd feel right knowing I'd be jumping ahead of Australians who are stranded overseas and want to get home, or people with visas to migrate permanently who have been held up.

Travel into Australia isn't really for visits at the moment. I'm surprised that Adam Hills was able to do it (assuming that's who PP meant)

It sucks, I'm sorry OP. How awful for your parents and for you.

No I wouldn’t even consider it at those ages, but if you feel comfortable that’s fine.

They are with their dad! They will be fine

If you're able to travel, I would do it.

What happens if you end up stranded out there?

@sashagabadon

I would try yes. There is an Aussie tv presenter here in the U.K. on a channel 4 show called the last leg and he popped back to Melbourne for Xmas and is back in the U.K. again now as I watched his show on Friday so it obviously can be done

I would if you could, but with Adam Hills, his flight was cancelled and there was a chance he might not make it back across, they were aware this could happen, but he has his family home out there and could probably work from his garage again.