Alan Partridge- Let battle commence.

[MaraThorn]

Best opening line for sex ever?

Has anyone had a better line?

Keeps the wolf from the door so to speak.

[Furball]

The Queen Is Dead, Long Live The King Singers......................................................................... ...............Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners and a newspaper. So, just to repeat, Queen Elizabeth the second is not dead. unless she went in the night and is yet to be discovered by the maid.

[Brokenchair1]

You've come free at the side Alan 😂

[BentBastard]

"I'm not haggling. Unless I've grossly misread the situation, it was my understanding that no money would change hands"

[Monkeytennis97]

"Well I don't like it"

"Well don't do it".

[Monkeytennis97]

Sweaty/Cacky Raphael

[BexR]

The audiobooks are hilarious. I was crying with laughter. I think Alan is my favourite comedy character ever.

The more recent one when he discovers his aptitude for working on a checkout (scissored isle)

[Monkeytennis97]

@BexR

The audiobooks are hilarious. I was crying with laughter. I think Alan is my favourite comedy character ever.

The more recent one when he discovers his aptitude for working on a checkout (scissored isle)

Do you need help packiiiing?

'Tesco lifer'

[whatacarryon2018]

OMG BEST THREAD EVER

that was some classic bill withers who thankfully is still with us

Tell you what, tell you what it's £8500

[Monkeytennis97]

From the Oasthouse is very good some great bits in there.

I love MMM too and love the interplay between Alan and Simon.

North Norfolk Hunt.

[Furball]

Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for this

[Monkeytennis97]

@Furball

Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for this

😂😂

[Monkeytennis97]

Why do... why do... why do birds.. no, why do... it's too high, too high... oh never mind you get the general idea

🎶🎶🤣

[DiscoJanet]

Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear Magazine

[MoodyMarshall]

I taught an online music lesson today (secondary music teacher) and my keyboard demo kept going off.

I had to stop myself from announcing, 'Ghosts in the machine! Perhaps a metaphor for...AH-HAAAAAAA!!'

[MoodyMarshall]

When Alan drinks a ladyboy with the film crew and takes himself off to...the kitchen:

'That's the kitchen, Alan...'

'I'm going to cook all the foooood'.

[Whylurkwhenicanjoinin]

You dont know what water sports are?

i believe we’ve established that 😃

[BentBastard]

@MoodyMarshall

I taught an online music lesson today (secondary music teacher) and my keyboard demo kept going off.

I had to stop myself from announcing, 'Ghosts in the machine! Perhaps a metaphor for...AH-HAAAAAAA!!'

If you were my sons music teacher this would have made his day

[Mookie81]

When Lynn spills Sunny Delight all over his James Bond videos.
'Ders more to Oiland dan dis!'
'Nice action'.

[buenavistabelle]

One bit that I always laugh at is when he goes to the funeral and he turns round and it says Castrol GTX on the back of his jacket

[BentBastard]

@buenavistabelle

One bit that I always laugh at is when he goes to the funeral and he turns round and it says Castrol GTX on the back of his jacket

I've made my husband promise to wear a black Castro's GRX bomber jacket to my funeral (bet he doesn't and I'll have to haunt him)

[igotdemons]

@Handsoffstrikesagain

‘Technically Lynn, your life isn’t worth insuring’

This is my favourite AP quote, I don’t know why, it just always brings a smile to my face when I hear it! 😂😂😂

“Now you’ve got Norfolk’s maddest man!!!” 😂

[noodlezoodle]

I once made the mistake of watching Alpha Papa on a plane. I was crying with laughter, I think my seatmate was a bit alarmed.

[Cleverpolly3]

Shop soiled Terry’s Chocolate Oranges

Susan can you make porn come on my television please

A pipe of Pringles

Would you like me to lap dance for you?

I’m not driving a mini metro Lynn



Yes I too am obsessed

[Bangable]

I'd just like to fly a helicopter all round Norfolk. Swoop down over a field, scare a donkey so it falls into a river.

[Bangable]

Sonja: "Alan, I love you." Alan: "Thanks a lot!"