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Original poster

Do you have any secrets that could ruin someone's life?

237 replies

LivingInAPrettyWorld · 10/01/2021 11:33

Just something I've been thinking about. A few years ago in my mid 20s I was friends with a much older man at work, who I saw as a fatherly /grandfather figure. I was going through a rough time with my mental health, plus bereavements and I had no friends or family support. He was there for me and I used him as a confidant and shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

I was naive and really did think saw me in a similar way - like a daughter or niece or something. I was also emotionally all over the place so I didn't see the signs, which looking back were there. One day in his car he held me against the seat and kissed me on my mouth, and put his hands up my thigh, and up the back of my top. I was so stunned and tried to move back but he wouldn't let me move and kept moving my head back. Fortunately it didn't go any further than that. He then told me he was in love with me and never felt like that about anyone.

I didn't tell anyone because I think people would have thought I led him on as I put myself in that situation. I never met him alone again, and he turned quite nasty towards me as well as tried to manipulate me. He has a wife who obviously hasn't a clue. It would bring her world crashing down if she knew and I'm sure if she did, she would blame me as I know she was besotted with him. It will be a secret I take to the grave as I'm so ashamed about it and how dumb I have been.

OP posts:
dozydoo · 10/01/2021 21:43

Omg, can somebody please message me with who the blonde wife with loads of kids who doesn't blink is? It's driving me mad!

I know secrets which if revealed would rip whole families apart, but they will stay safe, locked away in my little noggin, there's nothing to gain by revealing what I know.

CrazyCatLazy · 10/01/2021 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kintsugi16 · 10/01/2021 21:56

Has a post been deleted?

I now know because I read it, but it’s gone

Everythingmagnolia · 10/01/2021 21:58

Still no idea!

Dazedandconfused28 · 10/01/2021 21:59

Yes, I know that my friend's close relative sexually abused one of my family - the close relative has since died, so I would never say anything & shatter their illusions of him & my family member wouldn't want that either.

It is galling seeing this person regularly held up as some sort of local hero though.

SunshineCake · 10/01/2021 22:00

It was mine. Posted without thinking.

HOS8595 · 10/01/2021 22:02

Yes... I know a lot of things that could ruin people’s lives.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 10/01/2021 22:06

Yes secrets that would end marriages and secrets that would get people sacked.

Apparently people that are not even close friends trust me and like to tell me stuff. I have always had that affect on people. Why I was so good at my job. It is a pain in the bum some times though.

Kintsugi16 · 10/01/2021 22:08

@SunshineCake

It was mine. Posted without thinking.
Ah, ok. I thought I was going mad!
dalrympy · 10/01/2021 22:10

If my child knew the truth about what her father did I dont think she would forgive him.

Nothing too sinister but it would change the way she feels about him and I suppose that would potentially ruin his life.

yearinyearout · 10/01/2021 22:12

Someone I used to work with leads what appears to be a charmed life, lovely wife, big house, kids in private school.

His wife has no idea he's had regular affairs (including one when she was pregnant) and takes coke every weekend.

JoannaDory · 10/01/2021 22:13

Yes I know a secret which would totally explode horrible exH career and the very substantial payments he is about to receive on retirement.

I have thought about exposing him many times (he is a morally defective individual and definitely deserves it) but have always managed to convince myself that doing that just for my own gratification would be to sink to his level.

Ostagazuzulum · 10/01/2021 22:14

Yes, DF & DM told me years ago that his youngest 2 siblings (there's about 12 of them) are only half siblings. No one else knows. His DM confessed to him Years and years ago. All siblings are super close and I know it'd destroy them all, especially as bio dad would unlikely be found. What's odd is that my two youngest uncles look just like each other but not that much like rest of siblings. Bearing in mind my grandmother had a well known affair, I'm surprised none of my aunts and uncles have worked it out. I won't say anything as nothing is to be gained from it and I see no reason for the hurt and upset it would likely cause.

There's a lot more skeletons in family closet and annoyingly, I seem to be the one they all confide it and quite frankly the information is a total burden.

Literallynoidea · 10/01/2021 22:21

Loads.

I know two people who don't have the father they thought.

People whose other half has cheated (quite a few of these including one couple where the man mistakenly dialled DH from a Bangkok whorehouse and we overheard what he was up to).

One man who is gay but his wife believes (or at least pretends to believe) that he is straight.

Kote · 10/01/2021 22:24

For the blonde wife think of her Scottish DH who played a famous doctor on TV. Who could it be? Wink

Creamcrackersandricecakes · 10/01/2021 22:26

Yup, DH used to be in the music industry and one time years ago when he was doing a festival I had gone along to watch. Two members of the band he was playing with blatantly cheated on their wives, one with a groupie, the other with an old girlfriend he'd invited along. Some time later there was a bad falling out and the band split. DH was treated very shoddily at the time. The two men involved are still with their wives and I often idly wonder if they ever worry that DH or I are going to spill the beans, particularly as we still have fairly incriminating photos and videos from that weekend, (we wouldn't, they both have kids and we're not arseholes, much as I'm sometimes tempted).

BettyCrockaShit · 10/01/2021 22:28

I knew that a college friend's dad was a paedophile long before she did. I knew this because my mother worked with him in the same school and sounded the alarm about him. My mum's face dropped one day when she came to pick me and this girl up from the pub one Friday evening, only to realise who this girl was. I've never seen my mother look so ashen and upset. My friend found out about her dad when she was in uni - until that point, she thought they were NC because he was a deadbeat, not because he'd been shopped.

Anthilda · 10/01/2021 22:31

Yes, I know quite a few.
A couple of situations that could land people in jail and actually they would be at risk of getting a beating and their families would be torn apart

A couple of secrets which could ruin peoples career if revealed.

I would never tell peoples secrets though. Basically because I would not like to be in the centre of such trouble, or ruin the lives of the innocent people around them.

Most of the time people are not believed, seen to be trouble makers and people who have had affairs etc are often forgiven.

Ltdannygreen · 10/01/2021 22:34

Not so much ruining someone’s life, but ruining someone’s reputation... which I’m not sure he holds in high regards nowadays. But it’s a secret only me and one other person know.

IndieKate · 10/01/2021 22:37

I know of a few affairs, and some men who are raising children that aren't biologically theirs.
In my party days I saw a few celebrities partaking in illegal substances and I've a journalist friend that tells me some of the stories they aren't allowed to publish but I wouldn't share any of them.

Everythingmagnolia · 10/01/2021 22:46

@Kote

For the blonde wife think of her Scottish DH who played a famous doctor on TV. Who could it be? Wink
Got it now, thank you Grin
PhoebeSnow · 10/01/2021 22:48

@BlairWaldorfLovesShopping

I am so confused, is the orangutan woman SH or GT? (Not that I know who GT is - is she the fertile blonde?)
GT is the fertile blonde her husband and her dad both played the same iconic role on tv.
Isadora2007 · 10/01/2021 22:49

Yes. One that would end a marriage and hurt a few people. As a result of my actions with someone else.
One that would upset two extended families and end a very long friendship.
Nothing major about famous people etc sadly!

thebestnamehere · 10/01/2021 22:50

@Whiskysoda

Yes. I know a ‘happily’ married couple, so happy she boasts “we’ve never been happier” when in actuality he began an affair some 30+ years ago. He is still in contact with his mistress and she had a daughter to him. He’s never met his daughter, nor his grandchildren, but it would destroy his comfortable life if it became common knowledge.

His daughter is the absolute image of her father.

How does he see the mistress still, but not acknowledge their child??

Staggering!

PrankedByLife · 10/01/2021 22:53

Private schools usually have children from families where there are 2 parents and married.
Don't the other parents wonder where the father is?
Does she say he died?

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