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Original poster

Do you have any secrets that could ruin someone's life?

237 replies

LivingInAPrettyWorld · 10/01/2021 11:33

Just something I've been thinking about. A few years ago in my mid 20s I was friends with a much older man at work, who I saw as a fatherly /grandfather figure. I was going through a rough time with my mental health, plus bereavements and I had no friends or family support. He was there for me and I used him as a confidant and shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

I was naive and really did think saw me in a similar way - like a daughter or niece or something. I was also emotionally all over the place so I didn't see the signs, which looking back were there. One day in his car he held me against the seat and kissed me on my mouth, and put his hands up my thigh, and up the back of my top. I was so stunned and tried to move back but he wouldn't let me move and kept moving my head back. Fortunately it didn't go any further than that. He then told me he was in love with me and never felt like that about anyone.

I didn't tell anyone because I think people would have thought I led him on as I put myself in that situation. I never met him alone again, and he turned quite nasty towards me as well as tried to manipulate me. He has a wife who obviously hasn't a clue. It would bring her world crashing down if she knew and I'm sure if she did, she would blame me as I know she was besotted with him. It will be a secret I take to the grave as I'm so ashamed about it and how dumb I have been.

OP posts:
TinaAnglewood · 10/01/2021 18:25

@goldielockdown2 no it’s not a lie as my sister (who is childless) obtained custody (on his behalf) of the now young teenage baby.

The rest of the family know, so presumably social services dealt with this appropriately at the time. Sister and boyfriend are both now in their 40s.

goldielockdown2 · 10/01/2021 18:28

Sorry Tina but I find it troubling that you say your morals are far better than to expose a paedophile who has access to so many children.
Let's hope he at least leaves his DD alone now that she's under the same roof thanks to your sister.

Rae34 · 10/01/2021 18:37

Yes 1 about a politician The Sun would gladly run with and another about a teacher who had an affair with a student.

Tiredmumno1 · 10/01/2021 18:44

@heatered thank you for doing what you did, and at least trying. It scares me so much that this can happen, I worry for my ds who is non verbal. If anything like this happened he wouldn't be able to tell me. I just hope there are people like you around him at school who really are genuine and care.

EmmanuelleMakro · 10/01/2021 18:47

Same here about people revealing secrets. Not sure why they fo but I haven’t snd wouldn’t reveal.
A friend used to work for The Sun and told me lots of boggling stuff that the papers keep a lid on.
A married man pursued me with endless Whatsapps that would devastate his wife. I just deleted rhem.

IndecentFeminist · 10/01/2021 18:50

@esbm2015 am I reading your story correctly? You mother had a child by her own uncle? And you are blaming her for it and calling him a 'lovely man'?

FrostedCranberries · 10/01/2021 18:52

My ex's brother did things with his dog. I keep my DD well away from him.

notafanoftheman · 10/01/2021 18:54

I think I can guess who this is

It’s blindingly obvious who it is.

cleanasawhistle · 10/01/2021 19:01

Yes I know at least two I can think of.....

An old friend of mine has an adult son,she has never told her son that her husband isnt his biological father.

I have a cousin I used to be close too until she told me she had been exchanging flirty texts with her sisters husband.....the last text I was shown said I have married the wrong sister ....I told her to put a stop to it and I havent spoken to her since

GoldenLabbie · 10/01/2021 19:07

The actress with the fake Twitter account has been named several times over on Tattle. Whenever the marriage goes through a rough patch she just has another baby to stop him from leaving her 🙄

I know that my cousins have an older sister from their fathers first marriage that, as far as I’m aware, they know nothing about. Not really life ruining but still a bit of a hand grenade that would cause upset. Everyone in the family’s knows apart from them. Their mum knows as he still saw the daughter when they first met! One day it will come out accidentally, probably when someone is drunk knowing my family.

I also found out some stuff about my Uncle who died many years ago. His kids still idolise him and have no clue. Best left in the past that one.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/01/2021 19:07

Loads of married men/men with partners have tried it on with me. I don't ever tell as I just don't want to get involved or be accused of tempting the poor menz in any way.

TinaAnglewood · 10/01/2021 19:08

@goldielockdown2 his daughter is now the same age her mother was when she conceived her. I’m sure the daughter is quite safe but nothing to do with being under my sister’s care as my sister also dismisses her boyfriend’s past as ‘harmless’.
But being under the same roof as my sister is out of the frying pan into the fire for the child. It’s a mostly highly dysfunctional family she’s become a part of, but isn’t that always the case, that these things go round in circles.

I have my own children to think of, and I’ve already been exiled by the family, so I’m certainly not going to take it further, that’s up to other people now.

Ch3rish · 10/01/2021 19:09

@GoldenLabbie

The actress with the fake Twitter account has been named several times over on Tattle. Whenever the marriage goes through a rough patch she just has another baby to stop him from leaving her 🙄

I know that my cousins have an older sister from their fathers first marriage that, as far as I’m aware, they know nothing about. Not really life ruining but still a bit of a hand grenade that would cause upset. Everyone in the family’s knows apart from them. Their mum knows as he still saw the daughter when they first met! One day it will come out accidentally, probably when someone is drunk knowing my family.

I also found out some stuff about my Uncle who died many years ago. His kids still idolise him and have no clue. Best left in the past that one.

For those of us not to tattle can you give a cluewho this is please
Esbm2015 · 10/01/2021 19:10

@IndecentFeminist Yes she’s self-centred, calculating and manipulative. The way she has talked about ‘ways to make someone stay with you’ ie getting pregnant ... I think she knew exactly what she was doing and wasn’t the victim of the situation ... she was 20 and him 35 at the time and going through the loss of a close friend. My father was quite a soft touch and her very demanding and controlling. She now blames him that she has been left without any skills and hardly any money (all his money) despite never making any attempt to work or even volunteer. Feels she should be handed everything on a silver plate as that is how she always lived.

SunshineCake · 10/01/2021 19:11

@Esbm2015

Yes my mother told me that my father was actually her uncle... even though I’d found out independently years before. Has made our relationship very difficult. I can well imagine she was the instigator of the relations and may well have conceived the pregnancy to be looked after. It sounds very harsh but my father was reasonably well off and in a good job and I think she saw an opportunity when he went through a loss. She has relied on him totally financially, he was kind and generous man, even now after his passing. She left school young with no qualifications and had only worked for three years of her life. She’s 50 now. The only other person in my life who knows the truth is my husband. I was very sad not to have her at our wedding but I remain so embarrassed by the truth that I didn’t want her at the ceremony in case she told my friends the truth of how my parents actually met. I also think the shame has something to do with me not wanting children of my own. I feel I don’t want to carry on the family line...
You could use your husbands name, make a new one up. Don't let what your mother did stop you having your own family if it is what you want. She's taken so much from you already.
TodgerStrunk · 10/01/2021 19:15

For those of us not to tattle can you give a cluewho this is please

Not to upstage @rosetylersbiggun who first mentioned it - or was it the tenth time? You should think of a very fertile blonde who doesn't blink.

GoldenLabbie · 10/01/2021 19:16

It’s hard to give clues without totally giving it away. Let’s just say he’s far more famous that she is, a household name star. She also has a famous father.

ReallySpicyCurry · 10/01/2021 19:18

I can't guess who the actress is! Please someone message me Grin

MNnicknameforCVthreads · 10/01/2021 19:19

Can someone DM me who the fertile blond who doesn’t blink is?!

TitsInAbsentia · 10/01/2021 19:20

I'm not getting it either!

Ch3rish · 10/01/2021 19:22

@TodgerStrunk

For those of us not to tattle can you give a cluewho this is please

Not to upstage @rosetylersbiggun who first mentioned it - or was it the tenth time? You should think of a very fertile blonde who doesn't blink.

Thank you for the clue, I haven't worked it out yet but will think about it.
SunshineCake · 10/01/2021 19:23

Seems like it is so obvious but I can't get it to the front of my brain.

goldielockdown2 · 10/01/2021 19:24

How about someone just say what her name is 😂

IntermittentParps · 10/01/2021 19:35

No. I've something on a parent's partner that would put them in bad standing with the rest of my parent's family, but not 'ruin' their life really.

One is an MP but she looks like she’ll get what she deserves without me having to intervene. The Scottish one?

grassisjeweled · 10/01/2021 19:35

Pretty big one involving my brother. Only time will tell with that one.