Do you have any secrets that could ruin someone's life?

[LivingInAPrettyWorld]

Just something I've been thinking about. A few years ago in my mid 20s I was friends with a much older man at work, who I saw as a fatherly /grandfather figure. I was going through a rough time with my mental health, plus bereavements and I had no friends or family support. He was there for me and I used him as a confidant and shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

I was naive and really did think saw me in a similar way - like a daughter or niece or something. I was also emotionally all over the place so I didn't see the signs, which looking back were there. One day in his car he held me against the seat and kissed me on my mouth, and put his hands up my thigh, and up the back of my top. I was so stunned and tried to move back but he wouldn't let me move and kept moving my head back. Fortunately it didn't go any further than that. He then told me he was in love with me and never felt like that about anyone.

I didn't tell anyone because I think people would have thought I led him on as I put myself in that situation. I never met him alone again, and he turned quite nasty towards me as well as tried to manipulate me. He has a wife who obviously hasn't a clue. It would bring her world crashing down if she knew and I'm sure if she did, she would blame me as I know she was besotted with him. It will be a secret I take to the grave as I'm so ashamed about it and how dumb I have been.

Yup, one about my ex-H that would utterly destroy his life (and also that of his wife and kids, including mine so it'll go to the grave with me).

[quote SendHelp30]@Horehound yes and private school fees. She’s kept in a very nice life. Bought her silence!![/quote]
And will she tell her children who their father is?

Yes, and that's all I am saying!

@Horehound they know him and see him regularly. He takes them on holidays. He was a bad partner but is a good dad.

Yes, several reasonably large ones, involving some national people.
But have no intentions of telling, as the situations were largely sorted at the time.
Many people are going to have them op, if a person works or volunteers with people at the top of businesses, institutions etc.
Bullying seems to be rather commonplace for instance, "at the top". It tends to be "ruthless people" who get there, sadly.
I read an article about a top advertising person fairly recently, Martin Sowell? It rang lots of bells.

I didnt by any means mean I was talking about MS. I dont know him or anything about him personally, in the slightest.

one about sa, if i told his daughter it would destroy her vision of her dad. and one about a rape, have had to lose touch with a friend bc of what her son did

I too know a footballer with a secret family. And something about a celeb that would totally ruin his family man persona. Also a huge one about my husbands sister. She could end up in court and quite possibly go to prison. For the sake of my husband my lips are sealed. For now.

Yes I kmow enough about an ex friend that she would lose her job. I don't say anything as it would effect her daughter who is innocent.

I guess I'm boring cause I have none!

Oh yes and one day I may reveal all.

Currently enjoying that fact that they know that I know. It must be unsettling to know that someone who hates you could destroy your happy life at the drop of a hat.

Oh wait I do! I know someone who didn't self-isolate when they were meant to

@Kintsugi16

Oh yes and one day I may reveal all.

Currently enjoying that fact that they know that I know. It must be unsettling to know that someone who hates you could destroy your happy life at the drop of a hat.

With bells on

@Horehound sorry I’ve just realised it was worded wrong. My friend wasn’t his secret family.
When he was engaged to my friend; he fathered a child of a well known celebrity woman and her equally well known celebrity husband assumes he is the father.
He has nothing to do with this child. The child looks exactly like his children to my friend.
She left him when she found out. There are only around 6 people who know that he fathered this woman’s child.

@hyunasthebest they should be hung!

A women I know husband is very active on dating apps-he works away a lot so finds it very easy to get away with. I found out when she was heavily pregnant with a much wanted child.

Seven years ago my husband's friend left his wife and got a new girlfriend. He has since married the girlfriend but was shagging his ex wife from time to time whilst with the new girlfriend. He also slept with his friends wife. To top it off he's also a kids football coach and shagged one of the mums. His wife doesn't know anything about any of this but I know it all from my husband.

Some of the things I have done in the past my mum would be very upset about if she knew, but I have no intention of ever telling her.

Yes-I could break up the marriage of someone I used to be friends with
She gaslighted me when I was at my most vulnerable
She slept with another married man,more than once
I will forever keep my silence as they have a child together and the hubby is a nice bloke who she doesn’t deserve
But she gaslights so many people that I hope to god someone speaks up-judging by her social media the tide is turning

Several - I seem to be the type of person who other people tell their secrets to! Two involve affairs, one where a child is not the husbands but he has no clue, and another which would potentially ruin several lives.
I would never tell any of them to anyone - for a start I value those friendships way too much, and I just don't think I could reconcile the damage it would do.

None of them haunt me personally - perhaps if I felt horrified or judgemental about them it may be different. But I guess if that were the case I would not have been confided in in the first place?

I could ruin my mother's life and a few marriages.

Yes, more than one actually.

I knew my loathsome ex husband was fucking young escorts whilst with his longterm partner and conceiving children with her. He boasted about it when drunk to our eldest daughter 🤮
I don’t feel guilty about not telling his partner because she would probably have believed I was being malicious. I couldn’t have dobbed my daughter as the source, she told me in confidence.

They have now separated anyway, years later. I’m sure he will have done it consistently since the birth of their first son.

I did, but then reported my ex to the police and his life isn't the greatest right now. The plus side is that I no longer have to keep his secrets.

Yes. I have told DH, because I felt he needed the context of why I felt strongly about a certain situation. But it will stay with us, unless the potentially injured party were to ever ask me outright (highly, highly unlikely)