Breastfed baby and sleeping?

[Decembertojanuary]

Not sure where to put this!

Baby is breastfed, and I’m also expressing. Obviously this takes a lot of time overnight.

I’ve been sitting up in the lounge with baby from midnight until whenever he sleeps (usually around 7am.)

How do others manage this? Just struggling with it but on the other hand I don’t want OH getting no sleep either.

I can’t do anything like that. It’s a double electric pump. Usually get 30-40 mls. Depends though.

What nipple shields are you using? I found super soft flexible ones were much easier to transition DD to breastfeeding with no shields. There are so many different kinds and I think some are better than others.

DD had a tongue tie snipped at 8 days old. Everything I read and was told was that babies usually feed perfectly straight after the snip. That didn't happen for us. Took a good couple of weeks, and I waited until she was happy with the shields again before I tried to eliminate them because it was so upsetting seeing her upset because the shield was gone and she didn't know how to feed all over again.

My midwife said try to feed for 15 min. If it doesn't work, stop. You've then got time to breathe/express/feed baby without increasing stress because time is passing and baby still hasn't fed. I'd consider not trying to bf for a couple of feeds in a row too and just feeding expressed or bottle so you get a 'break' from you both being stressed about bf not working. I used to dread trying to feed because it was so emotionally battering. I'd faff around to delay it for another five, ten, fifteen minutes. When she got it out was amazing, but it really was hell the in between bit, it's so hard.

I think I have given up with getting him on the breast. No point if he isn’t even getting milk. He can’t get to one at all and pulls off the other. It’s exhausting. So I’m going to have to express for him as much as I can.

Nipple shields often do cause issues with milk transfer, they should only really be used with support from someone qualified like a lactation consultant. Please please ask the midwife for support from the infant feeding team, you will be able to get the latch right and at two weeks it would be a shame to feel resigned to exclusive pumping (which is fine if that’s what you wanted but it doesn’t seem like it?) when there problems could be resolved. Could you pay for a lactation consultant who could support you properly to get the latch right? He’s still so little and he’s learning as well as you.

Seriously do people not think I’ve tried asking for support already 😂

No I don’t think you haven’t tried, and I also think support available is often shite if you can’t pay for it which is a massive problem in this country which is why I asked if a lactation consultant could be an option. But I also think 2 week is early to completely give up on him latching when it’s really common and normal for it to take the first 6 weeks to establish feeding well including getting a good latch, my 7 week old has only just starting latching consistently well on the right. I hear how hopeless and frustrated you are and I get why, I’m just trying to stop you thinking that expressing is the only option left when you’re only 2 weeks in.

Thanks. It’s just honestly he can’t get on the breast without shields. He can’t even get on with them sometimes. And he cries, bangs his head, hits me, scratches himself. It’s horrible.

That does sound really awful, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I assume a midwife has sat with you and watched/helped you latch him?

I've got to page 6 so sorry if other people say this later on.

I cant help with latch as I'm a lazy side feeder! but recent baby had slight jaundice so did sleep a lot in those first weeks - as he was a good weight i didnt worry about waking him to feed.

The best advice I was given as a ftm was by a midwife. She said that your diet can impact your milk quality so the richer your diet the more like gold top milk it is rather than skimmed. Not sure if its true but I fully embraced it so eat full fat dairy (cream, cheese etc) and iron rich food such as steak - perfect meals are things like steak in butter with creamed spinach, lasagne etc. Creamy porridge for breakfast is good and chickpeas always make me produce lots of milk - make sure you stay very hydrated and take vitamins containing vitamin D (i personally take extra as its winter)

Also, don't expect breastfeeding to be 'magical and bonding'- its great if it is but there's a thing called DMER which is a hormone drop from breastfeeding - I had / have it and feeding makes me feel sick - at its worst I felt bleak and empty for about 30 seconds

Hi @CCSS15 sorry to leap on you but your midwife has given you completely untrue, unscientific advice. You cannot change your milk quality through diet and there is no reason to do so either. Human milk is deliberately high carb and low fat, intended to be fed little and often for brain development. No milk is ‘semi skimmed’ and you can’t make it richer through diet. This is seriously old style codswallop and I’m amazed a professional said this to you. Nothing you eat will increase your milk supply either, not even the often touted oats, milk is a upply and demand - the more you take out the more you’ll make and that’s it. It’s great to be hydrated and have a balanced diet but our bodies are pretty clever at making milk regardless of what we consume.

If I was you I'd keep going for a week, their mouths grows so quickly that it could be everything is different by then. It does sound like tongue tie again if hes not able to latch without shields and struggles to stay latched. If you paid for a private snip then definetely ask for a follow up - it's their duty of care to provide that

I say this as someone who wanted to breastfeed and couldn't so I do understand , but if it is stressing you this much just don't do it. It isn't good for you or the baby to stress yourself this much over feeding. My little girl couldn't latch no matter what so I just expressed. I did it 6 times a day. When my husband was around he gave baby the previous bottle while I expressed the next one. I did that for 10 months before deciding it was enough. I was so much happier with it, my little girl got breast milk and I knew how much she was drinking.

How did the midwife visit go today?

No change really

What does no change mean? What did the midwife say?

Not read the whole thread I’m afraid but possibly my DS is at least a bit similar. He didn’t have tongue tie and was quite large at birth. I tried to breastfeed but he lost weight and took over a month regaining birth weight. The problem was he fell asleep while feeding after just a few sucks. That, and having difficulty latching (I was quite engorged for a few weeks) , made breastfeeding really hard. I had to start mixed feeding and was soon mostly bottle feeding him. I gave up breast feeding altogether at 10 weeks but in reality he was mainly bottle fed from 3-4 weeks. I spent whole days for 2 or 3 weeks in a horrible cycle of him being too tired to feed and too hungry to sleep more than 20 minutes. I never tried expressing. Bottle feeding was much easier for me as I found it easier to get him to keep awake for a few sucks longer than while breastfeeding when he would loose latch and then get so frustrated. There is a massive plus side to all this - he is a champion sleeper - he was sleeping through from 12 weeks and napped brilliantly.

It sound so tough OP
I hope you both manage to breastfeed as you clearly want too.
Was the midwife no help at all? Baby gained any weight?

December, I just wanted to ask if when he cries, he draws his legs up tightly to his abdomen.

Poor little lad and poor you. Whatever it is I hope it doesn't last much longer. I'm sure you've tried everything you can think of including changing the formula.